It’s Counter-Intuitive To The Majority Culture

In so many ways, keeping step with Jesus and Scripture is counterintuitive to the majority culture. The culture will often tell a woman to divorce her husband if they don’t share the same values. But the Apostle Peter’s Holy Spirit-inspired words tell us that a husband who is disobedient to the Lord “…may be won over without a message by the way their wives live…” (1 Peter 3:1). She doesn’t need to nag! It’s possible that the Spirit can use her life in such a dramatic way that her husband may be “won over without a message.” She doesn’t need to preach at him!

Internal Adornment & Beauty

Peter builds on that point in the verses that follow: “…when they observe your pure, reverent lives. Your beauty should not consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold ornaments or fine clothes. Instead, it should consist of what is inside the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very valuable in God’s eyes” (1 Peter 3:2–4). If you’re a wife who’s a follower of Jesus, your life should be marked by internal adornment and beauty. And let’s be clear—Peter is not teaching that women should refrain from makeup and jewelry. What he’s saying is that your life should consist of more than the “paint” and “bling” on the outside. How shallow! “Live pure and reverent lives,” he says.

Have A Beautiful Heart

Focus on making your heart beautiful by yielding to God’s Word and His Spirit. Just because you can say something doesn’t mean you should! Don’t give your husband a piece of your mind that you can’t afford to lose. My girls are familiar with a verse of Scripture that I often quoted to them: “A beautiful woman without discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout” (Proverbs 11:22). Your hope ought to be placed in God’s sovereignty—“…in the past, holy women like Sarah put their hope in God as they submitted…” (1 Peter 3:5–6). Go back and read the Genesis account of Abraham and Sarah’s life. It’s interesting that she was never present when God gave Abraham His instruction, but she submitted to Abraham by putting her hope in God’s sovereign control of the situation. She let God work out the kinks in her husband’s head. She didn’t nag!

Husband: Know Your Wife

Let me finish by drawing your attention to Peter’s words to the Christian husband: “Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives with an understanding of their weaker nature, yet showing them honor as coheirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7). Your life, as a husband who follows Jesus, will be marked by an understanding of your wife. Now, I know that some of you men reading this are laughing inside—“You really think we can ever understand a woman?” No, I don’t! And this is a subject I have a really hard time preaching on because I personally stink at it so badly. But what it seems Peter is saying, in part, is that “…as you live with your wife, gain an understanding of her…” Study your wife! What causes her tension and frustration? Serve her in those areas. Be a help to her!