Broken Relationships!

-The Way Of The Transgressor!

During the early years, of my kid’s lives, I often quoted one verse of Scripture, to them, more than any other. It was from the Old King James version; and, I quoted it whenever they had gotten themselves into some kind of trouble. It’s Proverbs 13:15; and, it says “…the way of the transgressor is HARD.” Many times I gave them no additional words of correction! I just shook my head & repeated those words, “…the way of the transgressor is HARD.” It means that there are consequences for sin & disobedience! Sin is HARD! Sinful actions reap painful, cruel results!

-Hard Circumstances!

And, my wife and I would speak to our kids from our own experiences. We’ve experienced the hard circumstances of transgressing against the Word of God. Nothing good ever comes from disobedience to God! Never! Only pain and suffering! And, one of the most painful circumstances we endure is the broken “relationships” that lay scattered in the wake of our sinful conduct. Some relationships will never be reconciled because the damage is perceived as being too severe.

-The Toxicity Of Sin!

The Scriptures, from its early chapters in Genesis, with Adam & Eve’s sin, expose the toxicity sin brings to our human relationships. Just flip back to Genesis chapter 3 for a moment. God confronts them after their sin; and, demands an explanation for their disobedience.  “What is this you’ve done,” God asks Eve in v.13. And, Eve shifts blame, “It was the serpent.” She avoids the question. God asked her, “…what have YOU done…” And, she shifts blame to the serpent. But, she wasn’t the 1st person to shift blame! She had just heard her husband, Adam, respond to God’s question, “It was the woman YOU gave me— she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate.”

-The Ultimate Blame Shift!

Did you catch that? Who is Adam ultimately blaming? GOD, right? He shifts blame to God, “…the woman YOU gave me…” So, Adam & Eve’s relationship, with God, is broken! And, their marital bliss also came to a very abrupt end because of their sin. In outlining the curse, because of sin, God told Eve v.16, “…your desire will be for your husband, yet he will RULE over you…” Sin would forever mar their relationship; and, though God, by His indwelling Holy Spirit, will work to sanctify our marriages, it’ll require work & great effort to overcome the harmful effects of our sin.

-What A Nightmare!

And, what a nightmare, that we pass our sinful nature on to our children, who in turn, make many of the same sinful decisions we made; and, also make up a few of their own. We read, in Genesis chapter 4, of the tragic history of humanity’s 1st murder; and, incredibly, it happened within the family, as one brother (Cain) murdered his brother (Abel).  We bear, as the human race, the consequences of our sinful natures. You can try & deny it or ignore it; but, “…be sure about it, your sin will catch up with you” Numbers 32:23. Also, “…don’t be deceived: God is not mocked. For whatever a man sows he will also reap” Galatians 6:7. Why? Because “…the way of the transgressor is HARD.” Only God can fix the mess we’ve made!

 

The Minimization Of Sin!

-All Sin Is Against God!

All sin is ultimately against God! After sleeping with another man’s wife & then having that man killed, to hide his sin, King David prayed to God:  “Against You—You alone—I have sinned and done this evil in Your sight. So You are right when You pass sentence; You are blameless when You judge” Psalms 51:4. He didn’t say that he sinned against the woman by sleeping with her! He didn’t say that he sinned against the man by having him killed! His sin was against God ALONE, because God, alone, is the LAWGIVER!

-Caught In Sin’s Carnage!

It was God, who said, “Thou shalt not commit adultery”; and, “Thou shalt not kill.” We minimize our sin when we say that we sinned against a human being— whether it’s spreading lies, or gossip, etc. No! Those sins are against God alone! You may “wound” someone who’s gotten caught up in the carnage of your sin! But, the sin was against God; and, that’s why there is judgment! That’s why there is pain, suffering & death; because, in Adam, we sinned against God & brought the curse of death on ourselves!

-God’s Plan To Save Man!

But, in Genesis— the book of beginnings— God also reveals the beginning of a plan to save mankind from their sinful depravity! No sooner had Adam & Eve “missed the mark” of obedience; no sooner had they sinned against God; then, God shares a plan to redeem them from the deadly consequences of their sin! It’s found in Genesis chapter 3, verse 15; and, it’s a veiled prophecy pointing forward to a coming redeemer! A Savior! Amid His judgment against Satan, for the part he played in Adam & Eve’s Fall, God says, “I will put hostility between you (Satan) and the woman, and between your seed and her seed. He will strike your head, and you will strike his heel.” And, that prophecy comes together in the New Testament. Satan strikes a wound to Jesus’ heel when He dies on the cross! But, Jesus strikes a mortal wound to Satan’s head in that very same act on the cross; as, His death atones, for their sin, and, negates everything that was lost in their disobedient act against God! Now, all members of the human race can be FORGIVEN… REDEEMED… and, made RIGHTEOUS by repenting, of their sin, and trusting in Christ’s work on the cross!

-God Makes A Way!

God makes a way to undo what sin did, in the beginning, back in the garden! And, He plans to use a nation—Israel & the Jewish people—as the people group, through whom, Messiah would come! The book, of Genesis, really sets up the rest of the Biblical narrative. It begins with the Creation & the Fall. We’re then introduced to Abraham, whom God, according to His promise, makes a great nation, Israel. Let me draw this post to a close, by getting a little personal with you. You are part of this whole thing! God is your Creator! You’ve sinned against His authority over you! But, to the praise of His Glory, God has made a way for you to be saved! Have you ever personally accepted His gracious offer? He is willing to move you from death to life! Don’t presume on His grace! Come to this awesome, loving God; and, trust Him for salvation!

 

Missing The Mark!

-Why Do We Have A Moral Conscience?

The theory of “evolution” has no explanation for why man has a moral conscience. This makes us different from the animal kingdom; and, Genesis— the 1st book of the Bible— explains that God dignifies man by creating him distinct from the animals! We are NOT part of the animal kingdom. Animals were created, separate from man, with “instinct”! We were created, by God, with a moral “conscience.” He created us with the capacity to make moral decisions.

-God’s First Command!

Shortly after creating Adam & Eve, God showed them around the Garden of Eden; and, look at ch. 2, v.16, where it says,  “And the Lord God commanded the man, ‘You are free to eat from any tree of the garden, but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for on the day you eat from it, you will certainly die.’” This is the 1st recorded command, of God, in the Bible.  So, “…in the beginning…” there was LAW! As Creator God, He rules over His creation! He made us to be moral agents who are responsible TO HIM! And, notice that there were severe consequences for disobeying God’s command.

-God’s Generosity!

From the beginning, of creation, we see that God is a generous God! He gives great FREEDOM— “…you are FREE to eat from ANY TREE in the Garden…”; but, FREEDOM always has limitations— ”…but you MUST NOT eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil…” God commanded! The “freedoms” God gave vastly outnumbered the “restrictions.” But Adam wasn’t content to humbly submit to a good, gracious, benevolent God, was he? He wanted to be in control! So, in the beginning, of Genesis, we’re also introduced to humanity’s 1st sin.

-Sin Misses The Mark!

That word “sin” literally means to “miss the mark.” Hunters would aim at their prey; and, if they missed, would say, “I sinned!” When Adam & Eve disobeyed, they “sinned” and missed God’s “mark”, which was obedience.  Look at how Satan’s tempting words:  “…God knows that when you eat it your eyes will be opened and you will be LIKE GOD…” The temptation was that they could “…be like God…” They could be in control! Satan was casting doubt on God’s goodness! God was holding out on them, he implied! That was the temptation; and, they took the bait!

-Sin’s Consequences!

And, that’s where we see the consequences, for their indiscretion, executed! God judges them guilty, for their sin! He follows through! Right from the beginning, we see judgment for sin. Because He alone is God and Creator, He has the right to govern His creation as He determines! Adam & Eve had to give an account of their sin to God. The N.T. book of Hebrews says, “No creature is hidden from Him, but all things are naked and exposed to the eyes of Him to whom we must give an account” Heb. 4:13.  Every man, woman, boy & girl, from the beginning of time, must stand before God & give an account to Him! “So then, each of us will give an account of himself to God” Rom 14:12. But, thank God, He forgives every sin when we come to Him in repentance & faith in Jesus’ work on the cross!

 

Is Every Believer A Disciple?

-What Does Scripture Teach?

The Church, here in the west, has often made a distinction between a “believer” in Jesus Christ & a “disciple” of Jesus Christ! It’s a distinction, however, that Scripture fails to make— that you can be a saved “believer” & just live your entire life for yourself! That, if you desire, you can become a “disciple” and live out your days as a “super saint” for Jesus. No where, in Scripture, does Jesus say anything even close to that! If you abide, in Jesus, you will produce the fruit of a disciple! That’s the outcome of genuine faith!

-Grape Vines Produce Grapes!

There will always be fruit where there is genuine faith. It’s as natural as a grape vine producing grapes. That’s what grape vines do! And, there is fruit that is naturally produced, by God’s Spirit, in the life of every genuine believer who abides in Jesus! In fact, that’s exactly what Jesus says! Fruitfulness is the proof that you’re a “believer” & “disciple.” “If anyone does not abide in Me,” Jesus said, “he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples” John 15:6-8.  We bring glory to God when our lives produce fruit because it PROVES that He’s saved us! The PROOF is in the FRUIT!

-Love, Joy & Obedience!

Then, Jesus expands, on that, in the next several verses (v. 9-17). Fruitfulness, He says, is measured by our love, by our obedience, and, by our joy! “This is My commandment,” Jesus said, “that you love one another as I have loved you.” Loving others isn’t an option for anyone claiming to be a follower of Jesus! If there’s no love, it’s because there is no spiritual life. Where there’s no love, there’s no “abiding in Jesus.” “You are my friends,” He said, “if you do what I command you.” We cannot pick and choose what we’re going to obey in God’s Word. Disobedience isn’t an option! If we truly abide, in Christ, we’ll repent when we disobey & realign our life accordingly with the Scriptures. And, there’ll be joy in your life— “These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may full.” Our joy is linked to a genuine relationship with Jesus Christ! It’s not circumstantial!

-Even When Life Is Hard!

Abiding in Christ produces joy! Even when the rest of life derails, our joy is centered In Jesus. All those grumpy, mean-spirited, haters out there who claim to be followers of Jesus must have missed that Scripture! Or… they don’t really abide in Christ! This text presents a clear case that God, the Father, won’t stand idle while His children act up! He will prune— “Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit” John 17:2. He will discipline His own! He will spank! But, He doesn’t spank the Devil’s kids! Our response, to His discipline, will either confirm or deny that our “faith” is legitimate! We will confess sin & let His Spirit clean house!

A Distinctly Christ-Centered Home!

-It’s Counter-Intuitive To The Majority Culture!

(PART II) In so many ways, keeping step with Jesus and Scripture is counter-intuitive to the majority culture! The culture will often tell a woman to divorce her husband if they don’t share the same values! But, the Apostle Peter’s Holy Spirit inspired words tell us that a husband, who is disobedient to the Lord, “…may be won over without a message by the way their wives live…” 1 Peter 3:1.  She doesn’t need to NAG! It’s possible that the Spirit can use her life, in such a dramatic way, that her husband may be “won over WITHOUT A MESSAGE.” She doesn’t need to PREACH at him!

-Internal Adornment & Beauty!

And, Peter builds on that point in the verses that follow:  “…when they observe your pure, reverent lives. Your beauty should not consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold ornaments or fine clothes. Instead, it should consist of what is inside the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very valuable in God’s eyes” 1 Peter 3:2-4.  If you’re a wife, who’s a follower of Jesus, your life should be marked by an internal adornment and beauty! And, let’s be clear, Peter is not teaching that women should refrain from makeup and jewelry! What he’s saying is that your life should consist of more than the “paint” and “bling” on the outside! How shallow! Live pure & reverent lives, he says!

-Have A Beautiful Heart!

Focus on making your heart beautiful by yielding to God’s Word & his Spirit! Just because you CAN say something, doesn’t mean you should! Don’t give your husband a piece of your mind that you can’t afford to lose! My girls are familiar with a verse of Scripture that I often quoted to them:  “A beautiful woman without discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout” Proverbs 11:22.  Your hope ought to be placed in God’s Sovereignty—  “…in the past, holy women like Sarah PUT THEIR HOPE IN GOD as they submitted…” 1 Peter 3:5-6.  Go back and read the Genesis account of Abraham and Sarah’s life. It’s interesting that she was never present when God gave Abraham His instruction; but, she submitted to Abraham by putting her hope in God’s Sovereign control of the situation.  She let God work out the kinks in her husband’s head! She didn’t nag!

-Husband: Know Your Wife!

Let me finish by drawing your attention to Peter’s words, to the Christian husband: “Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives with an understanding of their weaker nature yet showing them honor as coheirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered” 1 Peter 3:7. Your life, as a husband who follows Jesus, will be marked by an understanding of your wife! Now, I know that some of you men, reading this, are laughing inside— “You really think we can ever understand a woman?” No, I don’t! And, this is a subject I have a really hard time preaching on because I personally stink at it so badly! But, what it seems Peter is saying, in part, is that “…AS you LIVE with your wife, gain an understanding of her…” Study your wife! What causes her tension & frustration? Serve her in those areas! Be a help to her!

 

Children That Please God!

-Scripture Speaks To Children!

I find it interesting, that, in his letter to the Colossian church, Paul speaks directly to children:  “Children obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord” Colossians 3:20.  In a section of Scripture, devoted to family issues, Paul expects children to read & adhere to his admonition. And, if obedience to parents “pleases” the Lord, we can infer, from that, that God is NOT pleased with children who disobey their parents. Yes, He still loves them! But, He’s not pleased with them!

-Disobedience Produces A Hard Life!

I used to tell our kids, “Hey, I’ve figured out how to never get in trouble with your parents! If you never disobey them, you’ll never get in trouble with them!” I would often remind them that, “The way of the transgressor is hard!” If Paul were writing a letter to your kids today, I think he’d say something like this:  “Your life is going to be hard if you insist on disobeying your parents! Why put yourself through that? Disobedience produces a hard life because your parents are always on you; and, God is not pleased with you! So, OBEY! Your life will be much easier!” Jesus set the example of obedience—both to His Heavenly Father; and, to His earthly father!

-Attitude Originates In The Heart!

Obedience is a matter of the heart. It’s not just about obeying on the outside—your body language can show disrespect even if you did what you were told! Grumbling, rolling your eyes, shrugging your shoulders, stomping off, banging doors, sassing, arguing, justifying your behavior by making excuses, rationalizing with a “Jimmy’s mom doesn’t make him do that…”— all point to a disobedient attitude of the heart! And, to delay is the same as disobedience! When Paul wrote, on the same topic, to the Ephesian church, he told them that honoring your parents will earn a reward of long life. Put the two together— HONOR your parents by OBEYING them!

-Fathers Are Significant!

Back to his letter to the Colossians, Paul also pointed out that fathers play a significant part in raising children that please God— “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so they won’t become discouraged” Col. 3:21. I don’t believe that Paul is suggesting that mom has no responsibility in the upbringing of their children.; rather, he’s calling out dad for his “headship” in the home! He’s to be the family shepherd & leader!

-Don’t Crush Your Child’s Spirit!

Dad needs to be the leader when it comes to “voluntarily” loving his wife sacrificially (as we noted in our previous post). And, he needs to step up his leadership when it comes to training the children. Don’t exasperate your children, dad! Or, you’ll discourage them! You’ll crush their spirit! That’s what it means to discourage them. Don’t make promises you don’t keep! Don’t change your mind without a very good reason! Don’t withhold compliments! Give them credit for the good things they do! For the times they’re obedient! They’ll remember it forever! But, they’ll also remember when you fail to compliment them for a job well done! Love them unconditionally, mom & dad! And, give them room to grow!

 

When Good Sex Goes Bad!

-When It Happens Outside Marriage!

According to God—who, by the way, CREATED sex—healthy sex only happens in a marriage between a man & a woman! The Word of God warns us against the ramifications of sexual conduct outside the safety of marriage between a man and a woman! All other sexual activities are spiritually unhealthy because it’s disobedience to God and His Word. But, it can also prove to be physically and emotionally unhealthy! And, the effects tend to have a trickle down effect. It can negatively impact your family & your children downline.

-Messing Up People’s Lives!

When your sex life doesn’t comply with Scripture, you can mess up a lot of people’s lives! One more consideration for those of you who think you’ve already messed up too badly! That you’re hopeless! Maybe you grew up in a worldly environment & were never even taught these Biblical truths. Or, maybe you grew up hearing them; but, you thought you were smart enough to beat “the system”; so, you played around with sex & you’re paying the price for it now! Well, thanks to Jesus’ work on the cross, you’re not beyond repair!

-Good News For Those Who Messed Up!

The Gospel is good news to every sinner, regardless the sin! We have a God who makes beauty from ashes! There is forgiveness & restoration through the cross! So, don’t hide behind your sin any longer! Confess it so you can be healed (James 5:16). And, from this day forward, plant your feet on the firm foundation of God’s Word, when it comes to your sex life! God’s Word alone provides us the only flawless counsel for building healthy marriages. In the book of 1 Corinthians, the Apostle Paul shares several points, about sexuality, as God directs us:  “It is good for a man not to have relations with a woman. But because sexual immorality is so common, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband….I say the following as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all people were just like me. But each has his own gift from God, one person in this way and another in that way. I say to the unmarried and to widows: It is good for them if they remain as I am” 1 Corinthians 7:1, 6-8.

-Is Celibacy A Gift?

What Paul is encouraging here is “celibacy.” He seems to indicate that “celibacy” is God’s gift for some individuals! So, if you can’t imagine being celibate, that probably means that you don’t have that gift! I purposely used the word celibacy, instead of “singleness”—because celibacy more accurately defines what Paul is describing here—celibacy is abstaining from ALL sexual relations! Whereas, in our culture, “singleness” is often preferred because there are no sexual attachments or boundaries—it’s “Sex In The City!” It’s friends with “benefits.” So, being “single” doesn’t necessarily express what Paul is thinking! When he says, “It is good for a man not to have relations with a woman” (v.1) he’s using it as a euphemism for “sexual intercourse”; and, the context of v.2 bears that out. So, celibacy can be a good & honorable gift from God!