Where To Find The Best Council
The seventh chapter of the Apostle Paul’s letter to the church in Corinth contains some of the best counsel available on sex and marriage. Though he opens with an endorsement of celibacy, he quickly adds, “…because sexual immorality is so common, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband” (1 Corinthians 7:2). In a sexually charged culture like Corinth, marriage is God’s gift to most believers. Why? Because it is the only form of sexual activity that God ordains!
An Undefiled Marriage Bed
The author of Hebrews puts it this way: “Marriage must be respected by all, and the marriage bed kept undefiled, because God will judge immoral people and adulterers” (Hebrews 13:4). The phrase “marriage bed” was an idiom synonymous with sex. So, respect it, because God will judge the immoral or adulterous person who plays the part of a married person sexually! But they’re not married—they’re just playing house. In a culture where sexual immorality is so prevalent—like it was in Corinth and like it is in our own country—God’s answer is simple: Get married! In the ninth verse of Paul’s Corinthian letter, the Holy Spirit prompts him to write, “…if they do not have self-control (to remain celibate), they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with desire.”
Marriage: A Deterrent To Immorality
Marriage is a helpful deterrent to sexual immorality. That might not seem like the best motive for getting married, but Paul and the Spirit of God are simply being practical—it is better than immorality! At the same time, Paul qualifies the gift of marriage with some stipulations. Marriage does not guarantee freedom from sexual immorality; rather, marriage partners have a sexual responsibility to one another. Do not misunderstand Paul’s message here—marriage deters a life of sexual immorality, but only if the husband and wife fulfill their sexual responsibilities to each other. “A husband should fulfill his marital responsibility to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband. A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does. Do not deprive one another sexually” (1 Corinthians 7:3-5).
Being Sexually Responsible
There’s a lot packed into these three verses. Paul is preaching monogamy. He’s emphasizing a heterosexual relationship. And he’s teaching that a husband and wife have a sexual responsibility to fulfill with each other. Some translations even refer to it as a “debt” or an “obligation.” Again, that may not sound romantic, but this is serious teaching from Paul. You can’t state it much stronger than he does in verse 5— “Don’t deprive one another sexually…” Some translations render it, “Don’t defraud one another…” The husband’s body does not belong to him alone, and the wife’s body does not belong to her alone. When sex is used as a weapon to punish perceived wrongdoing by a spouse, it defrauds them and places them in a vulnerable position to fall into sexual sin, Paul warns. Don’t do it!
Vertically Focused In A Horizontal World 