Honoring Jesus With Our Gender!

-The Culture Doesn’t Get It!

We honor Jesus in our hearts when we obey Him with our lifestyles! And, by our obedient lifestyle, we create curiosity! The answer the culture is giving, about our sexual identity, isn’t working! And, it never will! But, when we live, sexually, in obedience to God’s word, we earn the right to share it when the world gets curious— to share with them the Gospel and God’s purpose for gender. This is difficult subject matter! It’s layered with lots of abuse & painful injuries dating all the way back to the Garden of Eden; and, it’s just not easy to jump into without laying a foundation of understanding with empathy and love.

-Say It With Empathy & Love!

And, that is what the world needs from us— understanding, empathy and love! It’s simply not helpful when, instead, we offer them self-righteous judgment and vindictiveness! So, let me try and unpack some of the main points from the first 2 chapters of Genesis; especially, as it relates to gender & sexual identity. We need to take note of some of the implications it plays for our homes, our families, and, how it plays into our child rearing. Keep in mind,   from an interpretive standpoint of the text, that Genesis ch.1 presents the “Big Picture” of God’s creative act; and, ch. 2 fills in the “details.” Chapter 1 is like the Super Bowl headlines the day after—  “Patriots Win The Most Boring Super Bowl Ever”; and, ch.2 is like the story that fills in the details how the Patriots pummeled the Rams into submission.

-What Shapes Our Opinions?

Let’s also remember the most important detail as a Follower of Jesus Christ—  When determining our roles, as men and women, God’s Word must shape our opinions, not the culture! And, perhaps, the most significant point, of the text, is that God created humanity to reflect HIS IMAGE.  “Then God said, ‘Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness. They will rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, the livestock, all the earth, and the creatures that crawl on the earth’” ch. 1:26.  God created humanity to function as His living image over the creation; and, I believe it’s correct to interpret “man” here as “mankind”; including, BOTH man & woman! I believe the next verse bears that out—  God created humanity to bear His image as MALE & FEMALE!

-God Created Maleness & Femaleness!

The text says, “So God created man in His own image; He created him in the image of God; He created them male and female”  ch. 1:27. Our “maleness” and our “femaleness” are essential parts of being God’s image bearers! Somehow—and, I don’t want to get “weird” here—but, somehow it seems that God is saying that it was in the “complementing” or the “completing” of the man with the creation of woman, that humanity was created in the image of God. That image wasn’t clear or evident until woman complemented God’s creation of man. So, here’s my plea:  Men & Women! We need each other to correctly image God in His creation! When we grasp the significance of that we’ll begin to glory in both “MANHOOD” & “WOMANHOOD.” Together, we are God’s intentional design of human diversity!

 

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Determining Gender Roles!

-The Culture Is Broken!

Our culture is broken! Have you noticed that? It’s broken because it’s made up of broken people who are born into this world totally depraved & separated from God because of their sin! Only the Gospel of Christ can adequately & accurately direct us to solutions that restore our homes & our communities! Our broken culture can’t help us! When determining our roles, as men & women, God’s Word must shape our opinions, not the culture!

-The Original Design!

God’s original design, at Creation, can be found in Genesis, the book of beginnings! After creating Adam, “…the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper as his complement.’” Genesis 2:18.  So, God designed the woman to “COMPLEMENT” the man; not, “COMPLIMENT”— “Why, Adam, what a handsome, rugged man you are”—but, to “COMPLEMENT” or “COMPLETE” him. Yes! That means that the man was NOT complete by himself! Eve was his “completer”; and, by implication, she was also made complete by Adam! Adam & Eve, man & woman, were created and designed, by God, to “complement” and “complete” one another… NOT, to COMPETE!

-Happiness & Fulfillment Realized!

The way that men & women find genuine happiness & fulfillment is in owning the identity given to them by God, their designer! The culture is WRONG! Ladies:  You will not find meaning, in your life, by becoming more manly & aggressive! And, men:  you will not find meaning, in your life, by becoming more passive, effeminate & unsure of yourself! And, for the same reason we needed to shed the ethnic jokes, we need to quit making fun of those who’ve become so twisted, in their logic, that they think the answer is in self-mutilation—removing the sexual organs they were created with; and, adding sexual prosthetic organs!

-Anger With Their Creator!

How sad! Their gripe is ultimately with their Creator! They’ve fallen into the same trap as Adam & Eve, in the garden, when the tempter convinced them that life would be so much better if they could be their own god! Somehow, he convinced them that an ALL-WISE God didn’t know what He was doing when He created them! So, how’s that working out? Not very well for the human race! We’ve never been more confused!

-God, Help Us Love The Broken!

The Apostle Paul asks, “But who are you, a mere man, to talk back to God? Will what is formed say to the One who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’” Romans  9:20. And, yet, that’s exactly what we do when we fight God on the way He designed us! If you’re a follower of Jesus, let me challenge you to love the broken world of people we’re surrounded by! Jesus wept over people! He saw them as sheep without a Shepherd! We won’t win the culture wars by arguing & shouting down those who disagree with us on this issue! We won’t win with our rants on Facebook or Twitter or the blogosphere! When we’re quoting 1 Peter 3:15, “…always be ready to give a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason  for the hope that is in you…” don’t forget the rest of it:  “…however, do so with gentleness & respect…”

 

Designed To Complement!

-Is Gender Inequality Real?

Gender inequality is receiving a lot of attention these days. I’m referring to the claim that there is unequal treatment of individuals based on their gender. Some of this mistreatment is “perceived”; but, much of it is very real! Some claim there is a gender pay gap; and, in many cases the facts support that claim! There’s also a resulting link to career advancement— that one’s gender impedes their advancement up the company ladder!

-There’s Perspective With Age!

I’ve mentioned before— about growing older— that one of the few advantages I have, over those younger than me, is that I have a “PERSPECTIVE” they can’t possibly have! I have a kind of panoramic view of time since growing up in the 1960’s. More than just a historical perspective, I lived it! I remember when Bobby Riggs challenged Billie Jean King to a tennis match that became known as the “Battle of the Sexes.” It received international attention; and, when King won, it became a kind of “rally cry” to what has been the women’s movement!

-Gender Resentment’s Not Cool!

Now, let me be clear about something! I admit that from the beginning of time, men, in general, have been guilty of inflicting much harm & gender inequality against women; and, I applaud many of the changes that have been made to correct that! At the same time—here is my “old man” perspective— I have noted, in my lifetime, a deep pervasive gender resentment has bubbled up & boiled over in our day. We’re at this “zero-sum competition”! As a society we’re not looking for the WIN-WIN. There’s this lack of togetherness & teamwork between the sexes! It’s become “US against THEM”; and, the only way one gender wins is if the opposite gender loses! It’s “EITHER-OR” when it ought to be “BOTH-AND.” Either men rule the world; or, women do! The sexes are more divided than ever; and, the sexual orientation & “sexual identity” issues are the natural fallout of this fighting between the genders! The world is lost & confused & needs to be rescued & the Church can help bring sanity to the struggle by embracing the counsel of God’s word & living it out in our homes & in the public square & let me add that we bring that discussion with LOVE, PATIENCE & GENTLENESS!

-The Way God Designed Us!

God’s design for the man & the woman promotes beauty & harmony in the relationship between the sexes! God’s design for men & women is absolute equality in status; but, a difference in the roles! All the cultural debate over homosexuality, transgenderism, pornography, public policy concerning women being drafted for combat, church debates over women pastors, and, marital conflicts over “who’s in charge” in the home— ALL of it is addressed directly or by implication in God’s Word. When determining our roles, as men and women, God & His Word must shape our opinions, not the culture! To do otherwise is deadly! The culture is broken & doesn’t have the answers! It all begins with Genesis in my next post!

Living In A Sexually Immoral Culture!

-Where To Find The Best Counsel?

The 7th chapter, of the Apostle Paul’s letter to the Church of Corinth, contains some of the best counsel available on sex and marriage.  And, though he opens with an endorsement for celibacy, he quickly adds that “…because sexual immorality is so common, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband” 1 Corinthians 7:2.  In a sexually charged culture, like Corinth was, marriage is God’s gift for most believers.  Why? Because it’s the only sexual activity that God ordains!

-An Undefiled Marriage Bed!

The author, of Hebrews, puts it like this:  “Marriage must be respected by all, and the marriage bed kept undefiled, because God will judge immoral people and adulterers” Hebrews 13:4.  The “marriage bed” was an idiom synonymous with “sex.” So, respect it, because God will judge the immoral or adulterous person who “plays the part” of a married person sexually! But, they’re not married, they’re just “playing house.” When you belong to a culture where sexual immorality is so prevalent—like it was in Corinth & like it is in our own country—God’s answer is, “Get Married!” In the 9th verse of Paul’s Corinthian letter, the Holy Spirit prompts him to write that, “…if they do not have self-control (to REMAIN CELIBATE), they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with desire.

-Marriage: A Deterrent To Immorality!

So, marriage is a helpful deterrent to sexual immorality! That might not seem like the best motive for getting married; but, Paul & the Spirit of God are just being practical! It’s better than immorality!  At the same time, Paul qualifies the gift of marriage with some stipulations. Marriage does not guarantee freedom from sexual immorality. Marriage partners have a sexual responsibility to each other. Don’t misunderstand what Paul is saying here! Marriage is a deterrent to living a life of sexual immorality; but, ONLY if the husband and wife carry out their sexual responsibilities to one another.  “A husband should fulfill his marital responsibility to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband.  A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does. Do not deprive one another sexually” 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

-Being Sexually Responsible!

There’s a lot going on in those 3 verses. Paul is preaching “monogamy.” He’s preaching a “heterosexual” relationship. And, he’s preaching that a husband & a wife have a sexual responsibility to fulfill with each other. Some translations actually speak of it as a “debt” or an “obligation.” Again, that doesn’t sound very romantic; but, this is serious stuff Paul is talking about. You can’t say it much stronger than he does in v.5—”Don’t DEPRIVE one another sexually…” Some translations render it, “…don’t DEFRAUD one another…” The husband’s body does not belong to him alone! And, the wife’s body does not belong to her alone! When you use sex as a “weapon” to punish some bad behavior, you think your spouse committed against you, you defraud them & place them in a vulnerable place to fall into sexual sin, Paul says. Don’t do it!

 

When Good Sex Goes Bad!

-When It Happens Outside Marriage!

According to God—who, by the way, CREATED sex—healthy sex only happens in a marriage between a man & a woman! The Word of God warns us against the ramifications of sexual conduct outside the safety of marriage between a man and a woman! All other sexual activities are spiritually unhealthy because it’s disobedience to God and His Word. But, it can also prove to be physically and emotionally unhealthy! And, the effects tend to have a trickle down effect. It can negatively impact your family & your children downline.

-Messing Up People’s Lives!

When your sex life doesn’t comply with Scripture, you can mess up a lot of people’s lives! One more consideration for those of you who think you’ve already messed up too badly! That you’re hopeless! Maybe you grew up in a worldly environment & were never even taught these Biblical truths. Or, maybe you grew up hearing them; but, you thought you were smart enough to beat “the system”; so, you played around with sex & you’re paying the price for it now! Well, thanks to Jesus’ work on the cross, you’re not beyond repair!

-Good News For Those Who Messed Up!

The Gospel is good news to every sinner, regardless the sin! We have a God who makes beauty from ashes! There is forgiveness & restoration through the cross! So, don’t hide behind your sin any longer! Confess it so you can be healed (James 5:16). And, from this day forward, plant your feet on the firm foundation of God’s Word, when it comes to your sex life! God’s Word alone provides us the only flawless counsel for building healthy marriages. In the book of 1 Corinthians, the Apostle Paul shares several points, about sexuality, as God directs us:  “It is good for a man not to have relations with a woman. But because sexual immorality is so common, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband….I say the following as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all people were just like me. But each has his own gift from God, one person in this way and another in that way. I say to the unmarried and to widows: It is good for them if they remain as I am” 1 Corinthians 7:1, 6-8.

-Is Celibacy A Gift?

What Paul is encouraging here is “celibacy.” He seems to indicate that “celibacy” is God’s gift for some individuals! So, if you can’t imagine being celibate, that probably means that you don’t have that gift! I purposely used the word celibacy, instead of “singleness”—because celibacy more accurately defines what Paul is describing here—celibacy is abstaining from ALL sexual relations! Whereas, in our culture, “singleness” is often preferred because there are no sexual attachments or boundaries—it’s “Sex In The City!” It’s friends with “benefits.” So, being “single” doesn’t necessarily express what Paul is thinking! When he says, “It is good for a man not to have relations with a woman” (v.1) he’s using it as a euphemism for “sexual intercourse”; and, the context of v.2 bears that out. So, celibacy can be a good & honorable gift from God!

 

What Sexual Health Looks Like!

-It’s Not What You Think!

Unfortunately, marriage & parenting are the butt of a lot of jokes in our society. We sing a lot of sad songs about lost love; and, it seems that’s one way we manage the pain.  Like the story of a woman whose husband lay in bed dying, going in and out of a coma. One day he briefly awoke & reached out to his wife to draw her close.  As she sat next to him, he began to whisper some of his remembrances to her:  “Honey, you’ve been right there beside me through all the rough times.  You were there when I got fired. You were there when my business failed.  You were there when we lost the house.  And, you’ve been right here—the whole time—by my side even as my health failed & I lay dying.” He paused briefly & asked, “You know what?” “What, dearest?” She asked as she wiped a tear from her eye.  “I think you’re bad luck” he said; and, then slipped back into a coma!

-Flawless Marriage Counseling!

I’m pretty confident that everyone enters into marriage longing for a partnership that remains strong & healthy! I hope that it doesn’t surprise you when I say that God’s Word provides us with the ONLY flawless counsel for building those healthy marriages; and, for training up godly children! If you’re a relatively new follower of Jesus, you may be surprised to find out how much the Bible has to say about marriage & sex & family! But, think about it! It was God who created marriage! And, it was God who created sex! He created the family, too! So, it really only makes sense that we would go to the SOURCE for wisdom & counsel in these areas!

-A Foundational Bible Text!

A foundational text on the subject of marriage, sex, and the family is 1 Corinthians 7:1-9. It’s incredibly practical; and, if you’ll commit to obeying the words of Scripture—rather, than listening to the foolish, so-called “wisdom” of the world—you’ll have that strong & happy marriage that everyone longs for.  It’s an intriguing passage! What the Apostle Paul says to the Church of Corinth—and, these are words inspired by God’s Holy Spirit—are completely out-of-step with the world’s wisdom and the societal norms for family & for human sexuality! So, choose who you’re going to listen to!

-Where Healthy Sex Happens!

If you just google “A Healthy Sex Life” you’ll get results like “10 Signs You Have A Healthy Sex Life”—but, not one sign is attached to marriage between a man & a woman! Your google search results will also include articles on sexual dysfunction & how to maintain an active sex life; but, again, with no reference to marriage! But, according to God, “Healthy Sex” ONLY happens in a marriage relationship between a man and a woman! Over & over, the Word of God warns us against the ramifications of sexual conduct outside of a marriage between a man and a woman! All other sexual activities are spiritually unhealthy because it is disobedience to God’s word! But, it can also prove to be physically & emotionally unhealthy! It has a trickle down effect, negatively impacting others downline! Next Week: We’ll get into 1 Cor. 7.

 

The Fading Glory Of Creation!

-Don’t Accept A Cheap Substitute!

When we refuse to give God the glory He alone deserves, we exchange the glory of an immortal Creator for the glory of created things! In other words, we accept cheap substitutes! When we could have gloried in an eternal, immortal, all-powerful Creator, we glory instead in the FADING glory of a creation that groans & dies under the weight of sin’s curse! James wrote:  “Let the rich man glory in his humiliation, because as a flower of the field he will pass away. For no sooner has the sun risen with a burning heat than it withers the grass; its flower falls, and its beautiful appearance perishes. So the rich man also will fade away in his pursuits” James 1:9-11.

-Beauty Queens & Hip Replacements!

That means that beauty queens grow old & decrepit. It means that sports stars grow old; and, get hip & knee replacements.  So, if you value anything more than God, you’ve exchanged the “imperishable” for the “perishable.” You’ve traded the diamond for that rotten peach that’s been in the back of your fridge for the last 3 months! You’ve traded gold for a rusty bolt! In Paul’s letter to the Church of Rome, he also says that when you dismiss or deny God’s glory that you exchange the truth of God for the lies of sexual perversions— “…God delivered them over in the cravings of their hearts to sexual impurity, so that their bodies were degraded among themselves. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie…” Romans 1:24-25.

-God’s Not The Kill Joy In The Sky!

Listen, God is NOT the big “sex KILL JOY” in the sky! He’s NOT a PRUDE! He created sex! Contrary to what some people seem to think, sex wasn’t our idea! God created sex; and, the reason He restricted sexual activity to a HUSBAND & a WIFE is because He loves us! His way is the BEST way for us! All sexual activity—outside that which is between a HUSBAND & a WIFE— will always result in painful, negative experiences! Humanity keeps ignoring God’s glory when it comes to sexual conduct; so, God delivers them over to sexual impurity, Paul says. And, our society is bent on degrading their bodies because they’ve believed all the lies of sexual perversions! There’s a really important principle here!

-Living With Regret!

You can glory in the lies of sin & get some momentary pleasure out of it; but, the pleasure is soon gone & what remains is regret! Or, you can glory in the truth of God; and, gain happiness & joy that does not fade in this life! A joy that actually carries over into eternity! You can live without regrets now! Give God the glory due His name! Redirect any praise— that might come your way— to Him! Humble yourself before him! Admit that you’re NOT a self-made man or woman! You’re made in the image of God for His Glory! If you’re a follower of Jesus, His Spirit indwells you; and, it is He who is making you into the image of Christ.  Everything you have— Yes! Everything— comes from Him! Don’t take any credit for your accomplishments! That’s what unbelievers do. Stand with the Apostle Paul: “As for me, I will never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ “ Galatians 6:14. Brag on the cross & Jesus’ work for our salvation!