Monthly Archives: September 2025

What Do Your Prayers Look Like?

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Are You Willing To Be Honest?

Are you willing to take a good, hard look at your prayer life? What do your prayers consist of? Are they consumed with requests? Are they filled with pleas for God to change your circumstances—make your life easier, help you earn more money at your job, or provide a new job altogether? What if none of that is God’s will for your life? Have you ever considered that? Have you ever considered that, for reasons beyond your ability to comprehend, it might not be God’s will to heal the person you’re praying for? Have you considered that, in God’s eternal plans for His glory and your good, it might not be His will for you to get the job you’ve always wanted?

The Proper Motive For Prayer

The only proper motive for prayer is God’s will. In Jesus’ model prayer, He taught His disciples to pray, “…your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10). Perhaps the implication is that, rather than praying for God to change our circumstances, we ought to pray that God would use the circumstances to change us. Not until after Jesus taught the disciples to pray for God’s will does He turn His attention to praying for their individual needs. Only after submitting to God’s will in prayer does He teach them to pray, “…give us today our daily bread” (Matthew 6:11). There is so much we could say about the simplicity of that prayer request: just give us what we need today. That’s it. Don’t borrow tomorrow’s trouble. Just ask for the Father’s provision today—and leave it there.

God Already Knows What We Need

Earlier in the same text, Jesus said, “When you pray, don’t babble like the idolaters, since they imagine they’ll be heard for their many words. Don’t be like them, because your Father knows the things you need before you ask Him” (Matthew 6:7). Don’t babble lengthy prayers about your needs, Jesus said, because the Father already knows. Then Jesus turns His attention to praying for others. Again, this is a model prayer. “When you pray, pray like this,” He said. “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). In other words, pray that God would forgive you in the same way that you forgive others. Be so thankful for the Father’s forgiveness that you forgive others in the same way He forgave you—totally, completely.

God’s Absolute Forgiveness

There is nothing anyone has ever done to you that could compare to the quantity and level of depravity with which you’ve sinned against God. And yet, He forgave you. It’s not until we are truly thankful for His absolute forgiveness that we are truly able to forgive others. After He finished teaching the disciples how to pray, He shared these sobering words with them: “For if you forgive people their wrongdoing, your heavenly Father will forgive you as well. But if you don’t forgive people, your Father will not forgive your wrongdoing” (Matthew 6:14–15). In essence, He’s telling them to take a hard look at themselves. If they’re unable to forgive others, it’s evidence that they may never have been forgiven themselves.
 

Prayer Is Not Counseling God

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We Don’t Know What’s Best

I’m afraid that many people treat prayer as their opportunity to counsel God on certain matters. We ought never to pray like we’re trying to convince God that we know what’s best—as if the eternal, all-wise God, who knows the end from the beginning and everything in between, needs our advice for anything! His eternal plans for creation were already laid out before the world began. The writer of Acts reminds us: “The God who made the world and everything in it—He is Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in shrines made by hands. Neither is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives everyone life and breath and all things.” —Acts 17:24–27

God Doesn’t Need Our Counsel

When it comes to prayer, let’s get one thing straight: GOD DOESN’T NEED ANYTHING… INCLUDING OUR COUNSEL! He didn’t create us because of some deficiency, hoping that we could fix Him. There’s a clear, underlying message in Jesus’ response to His disciples’ question: “Lord, teach us to pray.” God doesn’t need us—we need Him! According to Jesus’ response in Matthew 6, prayer is to be GOD-CENTERED. “Pray like this,” He says, and He begins with the “Father,” not with us. By the way, He didn’t tell them to memorize it and repeat it mindlessly—“Our Father, who art in heaven…blah, blah, blah.” He said, “…pray like this.” This is how we’re supposed to pray—it’s Jesus’ model prayer.

Don’t Try Twisting God’s Arm

Rather than making prayer our attempt to twist God’s arm over something we want Him to do, prayer should begin with a focus on God the Father. Start your conversation with the Creator of the universe by honoring Him for His character. Praise Him for who He is! Don’t rush into His presence like your schedule is what matters—“Here’s my grocery list of needs, God! Will You go shopping for me?” Show Him reverence when you pray. You’re entering the throne room of Heaven! God transcends far above anything on your agenda. There’s an order here: Your kingdom first, Father! Our greatest desire should be that God’s name is hallowed, admired, and cherished. And He’s “our” Father too, Jesus says. Never get over that great doctrine of adoption—that God has birthed us into His family!

We Become His Children

Though we were born children of wrath because of our sin, He adopts us into His family in Christ. We’re FAMILY! Depend on Him like He’s family—because He is! We’re brothers, sisters, and joint-heirs with Jesus Himself. Then Jesus models prayer by moving from the Father’s character to His KINGDOM: “Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” —Matthew 6:10 So, pray like this, Jesus says—pray for the Father’s KINGDOM and for His WILL. If we’re praying like Jesus taught us to pray, our primary concern will be for the Father’s glory and the advancement of His kingdom. Our prayers will be GOD-CENTERED. Take note of the things you pray for. Are your prayers motivated by your dreams and goals, or by God’s eternal kingdom, His will, and His plans? Mature believers pray for God’s will above their own.

Lord, Teach Us To Pray

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Bad Prayer Habits Abound

I want to begin this series of posts on the subject of prayer by sharing with you the results of a survey titled “Top Ten Bad Prayer Habits.” Here they are: #10 — “My prayers are just a grocery list!” #9 — “I make my grocery list during my prayer time!” #8 — “I only pray by myself!” #7 — “I see prayer only as my personal wish list!” #6 — “I always pray the same thing and get bored!” #5 — “I only pray when I’m in a crisis!” #4 — “I do all the talking while I pray!” #3 — “I can’t stay focused while I pray!” #2 — “I’m just too busy to start my day with prayer!” #1 — “I don’t pray at all!” Can you identify with any of that? I can! I’m guessing we’ve all had—or still do have—some bad prayer habits. Now, if you claim to be a Christian, a follower of Jesus Christ, you can see how that would be a bit problematic if you don’t pray at all, right?

Praying Like Jesus

There’s an amazing New Testament text about prayer in Matthew’s Gospel. Jesus was praying, and when He finished, one of His disciples said to Him, “Lord, teach us to pray!” Now, let me share my take on that scenario. I see it kind of like one of our typical church prayer meetings. Jesus and His disciples are all gathered in a circle praying, and the disciples have their little prayer lists: “God, keep us safe from the Romans… Help Zebedee catch lots of fish today… Help us not to get leprosy! That’s been going around… Oh, and bless the missionaries!” And when they finish, they look up—and Jesus is still praying! Minutes pass by. Maybe an hour. We don’t know. The text doesn’t tell us. But I get the idea that things begin to feel a bit awkward as the inadequacy of their own prayer lives becomes evident. Maybe they start whispering among themselves, as they often did:  “Hey, ask Him how to pray!” “I’m not gonna ask Him—that would be embarrassing! It’d be like admitting I don’t know how to pray!” However it actually worked out, one of them wrenches up the courage to ask Him: “Lord, teach us how to pray!” Not “me,” but “us”! So Jesus tells them how to pray. We need to pay attention here, church! To summarize, He tells them never to pray like they’re counseling God.

When You Pray

He told them: “…you should pray like this: Our Father in heaven, Your name be honored as holy. Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And do not bring us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one…” —Matthew 6:9–13 If you were to underline or highlight any of Jesus’ words here, I’d go back to: v.5: “…whenever you pray…” v.6: “…when you pray…” v.7: “…when you pray…” v.9: “…pray like this…” Over the next couple of posts, we’ll dig deeper into Jesus’ instruction about prayer. And—spoiler alert—Jesus makes it clear that God doesn’t need us to tell Him what to do. That’s not prayer! Don’t hang out a shingle and try to be “God’s counselor.” Jesus tells them that prayer is how we align ourselves with God’s sovereign plans.
 

A Distinctly Christ-Centered Home (Part II)

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It’s Counter-Intuitive To The Majority Culture

In so many ways, keeping step with Jesus and Scripture is counterintuitive to the majority culture. The culture will often tell a woman to divorce her husband if they don’t share the same values. But the Apostle Peter’s Holy Spirit-inspired words tell us that a husband who is disobedient to the Lord “…may be won over without a message by the way their wives live…” (1 Peter 3:1). She doesn’t need to nag! It’s possible that the Spirit can use her life in such a dramatic way that her husband may be “won over without a message.” She doesn’t need to preach at him!

Internal Adornment & Beauty

Peter builds on that point in the verses that follow: “…when they observe your pure, reverent lives. Your beauty should not consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold ornaments or fine clothes. Instead, it should consist of what is inside the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very valuable in God’s eyes” (1 Peter 3:2–4). If you’re a wife who’s a follower of Jesus, your life should be marked by internal adornment and beauty. And let’s be clear—Peter is not teaching that women should refrain from makeup and jewelry. What he’s saying is that your life should consist of more than the “paint” and “bling” on the outside. How shallow! “Live pure and reverent lives,” he says.

Have A Beautiful Heart

Focus on making your heart beautiful by yielding to God’s Word and His Spirit. Just because you can say something doesn’t mean you should! Don’t give your husband a piece of your mind that you can’t afford to lose. My girls are familiar with a verse of Scripture that I often quoted to them: “A beautiful woman without discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout” (Proverbs 11:22). Your hope ought to be placed in God’s sovereignty—“…in the past, holy women like Sarah put their hope in God as they submitted…” (1 Peter 3:5–6). Go back and read the Genesis account of Abraham and Sarah’s life. It’s interesting that she was never present when God gave Abraham His instruction, but she submitted to Abraham by putting her hope in God’s sovereign control of the situation. She let God work out the kinks in her husband’s head. She didn’t nag!

Husband: Know Your Wife

Let me finish by drawing your attention to Peter’s words to the Christian husband: “Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives with an understanding of their weaker nature, yet showing them honor as coheirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7). Your life, as a husband who follows Jesus, will be marked by an understanding of your wife. Now, I know that some of you men reading this are laughing inside—“You really think we can ever understand a woman?” No, I don’t! And this is a subject I have a really hard time preaching on because I personally stink at it so badly. But what it seems Peter is saying, in part, is that “…as you live with your wife, gain an understanding of her…” Study your wife! What causes her tension and frustration? Serve her in those areas. Be a help to her!