Complementary Love & Submission!

-It’s Not About Inequality!

In our culture we tend to equate any kind of “submission” to another person as a sign of “inequality.” That’s unfortunate because it simply isn’t true! All of us submit to our boss at work; not, because of inequality; but, because of order! God designed order into every area of His world; including, the home! Jesus, Himself, submitted to that order in the home:  “And He (Jesus) went down with them (his parents) and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them” Luke 2:51.  I certainly hope that doesn’t mean that Jesus, the 2nd member of the Triune Godhead, was somehow BENEATH His human parents!

-Jesus Submitted To The Father!

And, what of Jesus’ submission to the Father within the Triune Godhead? He is just as much “GOD” as the Father and the Spirit. But, He voluntarily gave in to the Father’s lead:  “Make your own attitude that of Christ Jesus, who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God as something to be used for His own advantage. Instead He emptied Himself by assuming the form of a slave, taking on the likeness of men. And when He had come as a man in His external form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death—even to death on a cross” Phil. 2:5-8. Did you see that? He was EQUAL with God, the Father; but, He didn’t use that to His own advantage! Rather, He humbled Himself and voluntarily became obedient to the Father!

-Wives Looking Like Jesus!

Wives—nothing you do, within the structure of your home, makes you look more like Jesus, than when you VOLUNTARILY give up control to your husband! Not because you’re incapable! In fact, I’ve counseled many marriages in which the WIFE was clearly the more “CAPABLE” leader; but, when she gave that up voluntarily it changed the entire dynamics of their home. By doing so, she empowered her husband to lead and love; and, she “imaged” Jesus for her children. Ladies, that’s how you complement your husband according to God’s design for the home! And, men, you complement your wife’s voluntary submission by your LOVE for her.  “HUSBANDS, LOVE your wives…” Colossians 3:19.

-A Voluntary, Sacrificial Love!

The context, of this Colossians 3 passage, shows that the wife’s submission is prompted by a husband who shows her unselfish love. In no way does the Scripture imply that the husband is to DEMAND submission from his wife! It’s impossible to draw that meaning from this text. The relationships are understood to be reciprocal. He gains the voluntary submission of his wife as he loves her & she enjoys more of his love as she voluntarily submits to him! That word translated “love” is “agape” in the original language; and, it’s interesting that “agape” love is a “voluntary, sacrificial kind of love.” Her submission is to be voluntary & his love his to be given voluntarily. It’s not governed by feelings! It’s a love that looks out for her best interests, regardless! A love that refuses to turn “bitter” as Paul points out in the rest of v.19.

 

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Honoring Jesus With Our Gender!

-The Culture Doesn’t Get It!

We honor Jesus in our hearts when we obey Him with our lifestyles! And, by our obedient lifestyle, we create curiosity! The answer the culture is giving, about our sexual identity, isn’t working! And, it never will! But, when we live, sexually, in obedience to God’s word, we earn the right to share it when the world gets curious— to share with them the Gospel and God’s purpose for gender. This is difficult subject matter! It’s layered with lots of abuse & painful injuries dating all the way back to the Garden of Eden; and, it’s just not easy to jump into without laying a foundation of understanding with empathy and love.

-Say It With Empathy & Love!

And, that is what the world needs from us— understanding, empathy and love! It’s simply not helpful when, instead, we offer them self-righteous judgment and vindictiveness! So, let me try and unpack some of the main points from the first 2 chapters of Genesis; especially, as it relates to gender & sexual identity. We need to take note of some of the implications it plays for our homes, our families, and, how it plays into our child rearing. Keep in mind,   from an interpretive standpoint of the text, that Genesis ch.1 presents the “Big Picture” of God’s creative act; and, ch. 2 fills in the “details.” Chapter 1 is like the Super Bowl headlines the day after—  “Patriots Win The Most Boring Super Bowl Ever”; and, ch.2 is like the story that fills in the details how the Patriots pummeled the Rams into submission.

-What Shapes Our Opinions?

Let’s also remember the most important detail as a Follower of Jesus Christ—  When determining our roles, as men and women, God’s Word must shape our opinions, not the culture! And, perhaps, the most significant point, of the text, is that God created humanity to reflect HIS IMAGE.  “Then God said, ‘Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness. They will rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, the livestock, all the earth, and the creatures that crawl on the earth’” ch. 1:26.  God created humanity to function as His living image over the creation; and, I believe it’s correct to interpret “man” here as “mankind”; including, BOTH man & woman! I believe the next verse bears that out—  God created humanity to bear His image as MALE & FEMALE!

-God Created Maleness & Femaleness!

The text says, “So God created man in His own image; He created him in the image of God; He created them male and female”  ch. 1:27. Our “maleness” and our “femaleness” are essential parts of being God’s image bearers! Somehow—and, I don’t want to get “weird” here—but, somehow it seems that God is saying that it was in the “complementing” or the “completing” of the man with the creation of woman, that humanity was created in the image of God. That image wasn’t clear or evident until woman complemented God’s creation of man. So, here’s my plea:  Men & Women! We need each other to correctly image God in His creation! When we grasp the significance of that we’ll begin to glory in both “MANHOOD” & “WOMANHOOD.” Together, we are God’s intentional design of human diversity!

 

Determining Gender Roles!

-The Culture Is Broken!

Our culture is broken! Have you noticed that? It’s broken because it’s made up of broken people who are born into this world totally depraved & separated from God because of their sin! Only the Gospel of Christ can adequately & accurately direct us to solutions that restore our homes & our communities! Our broken culture can’t help us! When determining our roles, as men & women, God’s Word must shape our opinions, not the culture!

-The Original Design!

God’s original design, at Creation, can be found in Genesis, the book of beginnings! After creating Adam, “…the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper as his complement.’” Genesis 2:18.  So, God designed the woman to “COMPLEMENT” the man; not, “COMPLIMENT”— “Why, Adam, what a handsome, rugged man you are”—but, to “COMPLEMENT” or “COMPLETE” him. Yes! That means that the man was NOT complete by himself! Eve was his “completer”; and, by implication, she was also made complete by Adam! Adam & Eve, man & woman, were created and designed, by God, to “complement” and “complete” one another… NOT, to COMPETE!

-Happiness & Fulfillment Realized!

The way that men & women find genuine happiness & fulfillment is in owning the identity given to them by God, their designer! The culture is WRONG! Ladies:  You will not find meaning, in your life, by becoming more manly & aggressive! And, men:  you will not find meaning, in your life, by becoming more passive, effeminate & unsure of yourself! And, for the same reason we needed to shed the ethnic jokes, we need to quit making fun of those who’ve become so twisted, in their logic, that they think the answer is in self-mutilation—removing the sexual organs they were created with; and, adding sexual prosthetic organs!

-Anger With Their Creator!

How sad! Their gripe is ultimately with their Creator! They’ve fallen into the same trap as Adam & Eve, in the garden, when the tempter convinced them that life would be so much better if they could be their own god! Somehow, he convinced them that an ALL-WISE God didn’t know what He was doing when He created them! So, how’s that working out? Not very well for the human race! We’ve never been more confused!

-God, Help Us Love The Broken!

The Apostle Paul asks, “But who are you, a mere man, to talk back to God? Will what is formed say to the One who formed it, ‘Why did you make me like this?’” Romans  9:20. And, yet, that’s exactly what we do when we fight God on the way He designed us! If you’re a follower of Jesus, let me challenge you to love the broken world of people we’re surrounded by! Jesus wept over people! He saw them as sheep without a Shepherd! We won’t win the culture wars by arguing & shouting down those who disagree with us on this issue! We won’t win with our rants on Facebook or Twitter or the blogosphere! When we’re quoting 1 Peter 3:15, “…always be ready to give a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason  for the hope that is in you…” don’t forget the rest of it:  “…however, do so with gentleness & respect…”

 

Designed To Complement!

-Is Gender Inequality Real?

Gender inequality is receiving a lot of attention these days. I’m referring to the claim that there is unequal treatment of individuals based on their gender. Some of this mistreatment is “perceived”; but, much of it is very real! Some claim there is a gender pay gap; and, in many cases the facts support that claim! There’s also a resulting link to career advancement— that one’s gender impedes their advancement up the company ladder!

-There’s Perspective With Age!

I’ve mentioned before— about growing older— that one of the few advantages I have, over those younger than me, is that I have a “PERSPECTIVE” they can’t possibly have! I have a kind of panoramic view of time since growing up in the 1960’s. More than just a historical perspective, I lived it! I remember when Bobby Riggs challenged Billie Jean King to a tennis match that became known as the “Battle of the Sexes.” It received international attention; and, when King won, it became a kind of “rally cry” to what has been the women’s movement!

-Gender Resentment’s Not Cool!

Now, let me be clear about something! I admit that from the beginning of time, men, in general, have been guilty of inflicting much harm & gender inequality against women; and, I applaud many of the changes that have been made to correct that! At the same time—here is my “old man” perspective— I have noted, in my lifetime, a deep pervasive gender resentment has bubbled up & boiled over in our day. We’re at this “zero-sum competition”! As a society we’re not looking for the WIN-WIN. There’s this lack of togetherness & teamwork between the sexes! It’s become “US against THEM”; and, the only way one gender wins is if the opposite gender loses! It’s “EITHER-OR” when it ought to be “BOTH-AND.” Either men rule the world; or, women do! The sexes are more divided than ever; and, the sexual orientation & “sexual identity” issues are the natural fallout of this fighting between the genders! The world is lost & confused & needs to be rescued & the Church can help bring sanity to the struggle by embracing the counsel of God’s word & living it out in our homes & in the public square & let me add that we bring that discussion with LOVE, PATIENCE & GENTLENESS!

-The Way God Designed Us!

God’s design for the man & the woman promotes beauty & harmony in the relationship between the sexes! God’s design for men & women is absolute equality in status; but, a difference in the roles! All the cultural debate over homosexuality, transgenderism, pornography, public policy concerning women being drafted for combat, church debates over women pastors, and, marital conflicts over “who’s in charge” in the home— ALL of it is addressed directly or by implication in God’s Word. When determining our roles, as men and women, God & His Word must shape our opinions, not the culture! To do otherwise is deadly! The culture is broken & doesn’t have the answers! It all begins with Genesis in my next post!

The Mysteries Of God!

-Why Doesn’t He Fix The World?

In my lifetime I’ve been in several conversations with individuals who had set themselves up as “judges” of God. “If God is all-powerful & knows everything,” they ask, “then why doesn’t He do something about all the bad stuff in the world?” Job’s picture could be placed next to that question! He serves as the epitome of unanswerable questions like that! How does God determine His will? Why does He seem to step into certain situations & not into others? Why does He permit wicked people, like ISIS, to continue ripping open pregnant women & beheading little children & killing people just for loving Jesus?

-Can You Fathom God?

The Book of Job seems to be an appropriate book for addressing the mysteries of God— “Can you fathom the mysteries of God? Can you probe the limits of the Almighty? They are higher than the heavens — what can you do? They are deeper than the depths of the grave–what can you know? Their measure is longer than the earth and wider than the sea” Job 11. Scripture tells us that God’s paths are beyond our ability to trace out! So, what is an appropriate response, on our part, to God’s wisdom & knowledge? To His unsearchable & untraceable ways? The answer: HUMILITY! That is the only appropriate response! To humble ourselves before him & admit we haven’t got a clue! And, that He alone knows it all! And, He is under no obligation to share any more answers with us than what He has in His Word!

-Who Can Know God’s Mind?

We need to give God glory for His counsel— “For who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been His counselor? Or who has ever first given to Him, and has to be repaid?” Romans 11:34-35. Who has ever known the mind of God? Who can know what He’s thinking? So, who could ever offer God any useful counsel? But, still, we try telling God what He needs to do with His universe, don’t we? If you were God would you do things differently? If you say “YES” that’s exactly why the rest of us are glad you’re NOT God! And, you all ought to be equally glad that I’m not God, either! Ponder this thought— because God knows everything that’s knowable, that means He’s already considered your ideas & tossed them out as an unacceptable response to the situation! Right?

-The End From The Beginning!

Because you & I don’t know the end from the beginning, like He does, we really can’t offer Him any thoughts that He hasn’t already considered! “The secret things belong to the Lord our God…” Deut 29:29; “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways & My thoughts than your thoughts, says the Lord” Isaiah 55:9 . So, let us give God the glory He is due for His wisdom, knowledge & counsel! And, by faith, trust Him with all the things you don’t have answers for! I love how Tony Evans says it:  “Everything is either caused by God or allowed by God; and, there is no third category.” Paul concludes, “To Him be the glory forever” Romans 11:36. Let’s glory in God, His Son & the cross!

 

Is Your God Too Small?

-Are You Too Big?

40 some years ago, J.B. Phillips wrote, what turned into a Christian classic, Your God Is Too Small. It’s a great book! I highly recommend it! Phillips does a great job of capturing the struggle, that we humans have, of seeing how big God really is! We tend to see God as much smaller & less awesome than He is; and, we see ourselves as much bigger & more significant than we really are!

-Superman Don’t Need No Airplane!

I love the story about former heavy weight boxing champ, Muhammad Ali, who loved to boast, in jest, about being the greatest! It was part of his shtick & show! Once, while flying on a commercial flight, the stewardess told him to fasten his seatbelt just before takeoff. “Superman don’t need no seatbelt,” Ali replied; and, the stewardess shot back, “Superman don’t need no airplane, either.” That pretty much epitomizes the attitude the “health, wealth & prosperity FALSE gospel” has spawned here in the western church! The image of God has been distorted!

-He’s No “Genie In A Bottle”!

Much, of the Church, has turned God into a wimpy “Genie in the bottle” kind of God who grants OUR wishes; and, somehow NEEDS us to feel significant! Rather, than the self-sufficient, self-sustaining Sovereign God, that He is, who needs nothing & is the KING of kings & LORD of lords! I love how Paul addresses this subject in his letter to the Roman believers:  “Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and the knowledge of God! How unsearchable His judgments and untraceable His ways! For who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been His counselor? Or who has ever first given to Him, and has to be repaid? For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be the glory forever.  Amen” Romans 11:33-36.

-Glory In God’s Wisdom!

That’s another one of those rich texts, of Scripture, that magnifies & lifts up our Awesome God! Paul is like caught up in the wonder & the mystery of who He is! He seems to be promoting the underlying thought that good or bad, big or small, whatever comes our way, let us give God Glory for everything that happens in life! Notice, he challenges the church to give God Glory for His “…wisdom and knowledge…” Whatever comes, give God Glory because of His wisdom & knowledge. He knows what He’s doing!

-Is God Foolish?

There’s another great verse that Paul included, in his letter, to the Church of Corinth: “God’s foolishness is wiser than human wisdom, and God’s weakness is stronger than human strength” 1 Cor 1:25. Don’t you just love that? Mind you, Paul is NOT saying that God has a foolish side to Him. On the contrary, He’s pointing out how foolish we are when we think we’re really wise & smart. IF God had a foolish side—and, He DOESN’T—He would still be wiser than you and me! He’s “omniscient.” That means He knows everything! Anything that’s knowable, He already knows it; and, He’s known it for all eternity! He knows everything you & I have forgotten; but, He still knows it! And, He knows everything that you & I will never know! Only God knows why He allows the wickedness, in the world, to enjoy temporary victories! Trust His wisdom!

 

God’s Glory Over Our Justification!

-He Alone Gets Glory For Our Faith!

When the Apostle Paul wrote his letter to the Church of Ephesus, he made it clear, from the start, that God ALONE must receive the glory for anyone’s salvation! From the beginning of salvation, through our “justification”, until it’s completion at our “glorification”; and, everything in between during our “sanctification” in the present— ALL of it is God’s work for which He is to receive Glory! “Praise the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,” Paul began, “who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavens. For He chose us in Him, before the foundation of the world, to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined us to be adopted through Jesus Christ for Himself, according to His favor and will, to the praise of His glorious grace that He favored us with in the Beloved” Ephesians 1:3-6.

-To The Praise Of His Glorious Grace!

That phrase, “…to the praise of His glorious grace…” is actually translated, “…to the praise of the GLORY of His grace…” in the NKJV. In other words, God is glorified through our “justification.” He is glorified AS He justifies us! It isn’t anything that we do! HE justifies us! HE saves us from the penalty of our sin! That’s what it means to be justified in God’s sight! Our sin legally condemns us to death! But, when Jesus became the substitutionary atonement on our behalf, God could LEGALLY remove the death penalty, we deserved, because Jesus died in our place! And, clearly, Paul intends for us to understand that our justification was God’s work alone!

-God Chose Us Before Creation!

No doubt drawing from Jesus’ words— “…You did not choose Me, but I chose you…”—Paul confirmed that, “…HE CHOSE us… BEFORE the foundation of the world…” v.4. Think of that! Let those words sink in! Feel the weight of that statement! BEFORE the world was created; BEFORE you were created, God had already CHOSEN you IF you’re a believer! “HE PREDESTINED us to be ADOPTED…” v.5. It’s because HE chose us & HE predestined us, to be saved BEFORE we were created, that all boasting or credit we might take, for our faith, is removed! One of the most significant aspects, of a marriage, is that from that day on a woman is called by a new name! Her name is changed because the groom loves her!

-Called By A New Name!

The groom loves her & invites her to take on a new identity as his wife! One of the most significant aspects of accepting Jesus, as Savior, is the fact that from that day on we’re called by a new name! Jesus loves us & invites us to take on a new identity! We’re no longer called  a “sinner”; but, a “saint”; His “bride”; His “church”! Throughout Scripture, there are many examples where God changed the names of His people— He changed Abram, meaning “high father”, to Abraham, meaning “father of a multitude of many nations”; He changed Sarai, meaning “argumentative”, to Sarah, meaning “princess”; He changed Simon, meaning “he has heard”, to Peter, meaning “the rock.” There are many more if you’ll look into it! When God justifies us He gives us a new name to signify a changed life; and, He does it all for His Glory!