Tag Archives: Discretion

A Distinctly Christ-Centered Home (Part II)

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It’s Counter-Intuitive To The Majority Culture

In so many ways, keeping step with Jesus and Scripture is counterintuitive to the majority culture. The culture will often tell a woman to divorce her husband if they don’t share the same values. But the Apostle Peter’s Holy Spirit-inspired words tell us that a husband who is disobedient to the Lord “…may be won over without a message by the way their wives live…” (1 Peter 3:1). She doesn’t need to nag! It’s possible that the Spirit can use her life in such a dramatic way that her husband may be “won over without a message.” She doesn’t need to preach at him!

Internal Adornment & Beauty

Peter builds on that point in the verses that follow: “…when they observe your pure, reverent lives. Your beauty should not consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold ornaments or fine clothes. Instead, it should consist of what is inside the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very valuable in God’s eyes” (1 Peter 3:2–4). If you’re a wife who’s a follower of Jesus, your life should be marked by internal adornment and beauty. And let’s be clear—Peter is not teaching that women should refrain from makeup and jewelry. What he’s saying is that your life should consist of more than the “paint” and “bling” on the outside. How shallow! “Live pure and reverent lives,” he says.

Have A Beautiful Heart

Focus on making your heart beautiful by yielding to God’s Word and His Spirit. Just because you can say something doesn’t mean you should! Don’t give your husband a piece of your mind that you can’t afford to lose. My girls are familiar with a verse of Scripture that I often quoted to them: “A beautiful woman without discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout” (Proverbs 11:22). Your hope ought to be placed in God’s sovereignty—“…in the past, holy women like Sarah put their hope in God as they submitted…” (1 Peter 3:5–6). Go back and read the Genesis account of Abraham and Sarah’s life. It’s interesting that she was never present when God gave Abraham His instruction, but she submitted to Abraham by putting her hope in God’s sovereign control of the situation. She let God work out the kinks in her husband’s head. She didn’t nag!

Husband: Know Your Wife

Let me finish by drawing your attention to Peter’s words to the Christian husband: “Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives with an understanding of their weaker nature, yet showing them honor as coheirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7). Your life, as a husband who follows Jesus, will be marked by an understanding of your wife. Now, I know that some of you men reading this are laughing inside—“You really think we can ever understand a woman?” No, I don’t! And this is a subject I have a really hard time preaching on because I personally stink at it so badly. But what it seems Peter is saying, in part, is that “…as you live with your wife, gain an understanding of her…” Study your wife! What causes her tension and frustration? Serve her in those areas. Be a help to her!

Daniel: Responding To A Crisis Of Faith

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(Note: This is the 5th in a series of posts on Daniel’s life)

Responding To Impossible Demands

Powerful individuals often demand the seemingly impossible from their subjects! So, it wasn’t really surprising that Babylon’s King Nebuchadnezzar would dream a dream and insist that his counselors tell him WHAT he dreamed, in addition to an accurate interpretation! His threat— to kill them if they didn’t come through— was very real.  As the story unfolds— in Daniel ch.2— we’re invited into Daniel’s life, to see his response to a crisis of faith! His life was threatened, by the king’s impossible demands, as well! Would his actions match up with what he said he believed? Or, would he fall completely apart like the rest of the king’s advisory team?

The Bottom Line Of The Story

Daniel shows us how to respond to an impossible situation— that’s the big idea behind this post! That’s the bottom line here in our story.  First, the text, of Scripture, says that he responds with tact and discretion (v.14).  Tact is “a keen sense of what to say or do without being offensive; the skill of dealing with difficult or delicate situations.” And, this is about as delicate as it gets! Arioch, the king’s captain, is at your front door & he’s there to haul you away to be executed! What would you do? Run, panic, demand your rights?

A Better Way To Respond

Chuck Swindoll has noted that “some Christians think the only sensible response to unjust secular authority is brash rebellion.” That’s certainly a sad symptom of the American church today. Though Scripture commands us NOT “…to return evil for evil…” (1 Peter 3:9 for example); or to fight like the world fights, there are many in the church today who seriously lack tact and discretion. Daniel shows us another way! A better way! A Biblically approved way! His confidence in God’s Sovereign control, of the situation, allowed him to act with tact; and, with discretion. Discretion is “that quality of being wise & careful in the way someone acts or speaks.” 

Honoring The Governing Authority

He acts, with discretion, by asking clarifying questions! And, he was rewarded with an audience before the king (v.16). He honored the king’s authority & asked for time to satisfy the king’s demands. Many, in the Western church, would do well to follow Daniel’s example; and, honor the governing authority. He stood before a more wicked ungodly leader than any American president we’ve ever disagreed with; and, Daniel doesn’t use slanderous campaign tactics! He doesn’t rail at him for being unfair! He shows tact & discretion; and, that gains him an audience and respect from the king!

God’s End Game

We must never forget that God is in the details! He removed Israel from the land; and, He raised up wicked King Nebuchadnezzar to judge them! But, that wasn’t God’s end game! He planned to humble that wicked king and bring him to faith; and, God would use his budding relationship with Daniel to accomplish that. But, only because Daniel honored the king & used wisdom, tact & discretion; and, the king took notice— “…he found him ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters that were in all his kingdom” (1:21).  May God help us to follow Daniel’s example when facing a crisis of faith! Give us Holy Spirit “filters” for our mouths! Give us wisdom, tact & discretion NOT to say everything that enters our mind! Let’s remember that because we still live in our sinful flesh, many times our 1st response is a sinful response!

An Impossible Situation!

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-When There’s No Happy Ending!

The Prophet Daniel, in the Old Testament book named after him, shows us how to live faithfully; even when life doesn’t have a happy ending! His country overrun by the brutal King Nebuchadnezzar, of Babylon; and, his parents perhaps slain right before his eyes; Daniel, nonetheless, remained faithful! He refused to defile himself by the ungodly culture around him; and, God blessed him for it! The 1st chapter reveals that; after enduring a 3-year period of training intended to indoctrinate him in the ways of the Babylonians, “…no one was found equal to Daniel, Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah. So they began to serve in the king’s court. In every matter of wisdom and understanding that the king consulted them about, he found them 10 times better than all the diviner-priests and mediums in his entire kingdom” (1:19-20). 

-Bad Dreams & Insomnia!

The 2nd chapter, of Daniel, opens with a bad dreams; and, a case of insomnia for King Nebuchadnezzar. In v.2, he calls together all his diviner-priests, mediums, and sorcerers; and, gives them an impossible situation— he demands not only the meaning of his dream; but, he also demands that they tell him what he dreamed! Not because he forgot; but, because he was testing them; and, when they couldn’t deliver, he sends an assassin to kill them all.  That’s when God shows us, through Daniel, how to respond to an impossible situation.

-With Tact & Discretion!

The text, v.14, says, “Then Daniel responded with tact and discretion…” as he spoke to the COMMANDER of the king’s guard. In v.16 it says, “…Daniel went and asked the king to give him some time, so that he could give the king the interpretation. Then Daniel went to his house and told his friends Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah about the matter, urging them to ask the God of heaven for mercy concerning this mystery, so Daniel and his friends would not be killed with the rest of Babylon’s wise men.” Notice that he responded to this impossible situation by taking it to his “faith community”; and, then, praying together until God answered.

-God Is Never Surprised!

It says God, “…revealed the mystery to Daniel in a vision at night.” Daniel shows us how to respond to the impossible situations in life. He lived out his faith— that God was Sovereign! That He was in the details! That He is never surprised! That He’s actually choreographing the impossible situations in life, in time; and, in history for His ultimate purpose! God was revealing Himself to King Nebuchadnezzar! Through Daniel’s story, God shows us how to live a “well done, good & faithful servant” kind of life; even, when the future looks bleak and scary! So, Daniel comes into the king’s presence; and, tells him that God had revealed to him, in his dream, things about the future!

-Give God The Glory!

And, I love Daniel’s humility! He takes no credit; but, he gives God the glory:  “…there is a God in heaven who reveals mysteries, and He has let King Nebuchadnezzar know what will happen in the last days. Your dream and the visions that came into your mind as you lay in bed were these: Your Majesty, while you were in your bed, thoughts came to your mind about what will happen in the future. The revealer of mysteries has let you know what will happen. As for me, this mystery has been revealed to me, not because I have more wisdom than anyone living, but in order that the interpretation might be made known to the king & that you may understand the thoughts of your mind” (v.28-30). That’s awesome! “I don’t want you to think that I have the dream & interpretation because I’m smarter than everyone else. This is a God thing, King Nebuchadnezzar! The God of heaven crashed your dreams; and, He’s got big plans to share with you!”

A Distinctly Christ-Centered Home!

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-It’s Counter-Intuitive To The Majority Culture!

(PART II) In so many ways, keeping step with Jesus and Scripture is counter-intuitive to the majority culture! The culture will often tell a woman to divorce her husband if they don’t share the same values! But, the Apostle Peter’s Holy Spirit inspired words tell us that a husband, who is disobedient to the Lord, “…may be won over without a message by the way their wives live…” 1 Peter 3:1.  She doesn’t need to NAG! It’s possible that the Spirit can use her life, in such a dramatic way, that her husband may be “won over WITHOUT A MESSAGE.” She doesn’t need to PREACH at him!

-Internal Adornment & Beauty!

And, Peter builds on that point in the verses that follow:  “…when they observe your pure, reverent lives. Your beauty should not consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold ornaments or fine clothes. Instead, it should consist of what is inside the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very valuable in God’s eyes” 1 Peter 3:2-4.  If you’re a wife, who’s a follower of Jesus, your life should be marked by an internal adornment and beauty! And, let’s be clear, Peter is not teaching that women should refrain from makeup and jewelry! What he’s saying is that your life should consist of more than the “paint” and “bling” on the outside! How shallow! Live pure & reverent lives, he says!

-Have A Beautiful Heart!

Focus on making your heart beautiful by yielding to God’s Word & his Spirit! Just because you CAN say something, doesn’t mean you should! Don’t give your husband a piece of your mind that you can’t afford to lose! My girls are familiar with a verse of Scripture that I often quoted to them:  “A beautiful woman without discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout” Proverbs 11:22.  Your hope ought to be placed in God’s Sovereignty—  “…in the past, holy women like Sarah PUT THEIR HOPE IN GOD as they submitted…” 1 Peter 3:5-6.  Go back and read the Genesis account of Abraham and Sarah’s life. It’s interesting that she was never present when God gave Abraham His instruction; but, she submitted to Abraham by putting her hope in God’s Sovereign control of the situation.  She let God work out the kinks in her husband’s head! She didn’t nag!

-Husband: Know Your Wife!

Let me finish by drawing your attention to Peter’s words, to the Christian husband: “Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives with an understanding of their weaker nature yet showing them honor as coheirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered” 1 Peter 3:7. Your life, as a husband who follows Jesus, will be marked by an understanding of your wife! Now, I know that some of you men, reading this, are laughing inside— “You really think we can ever understand a woman?” No, I don’t! And, this is a subject I have a really hard time preaching on because I personally stink at it so badly! But, what it seems Peter is saying, in part, is that “…AS you LIVE with your wife, gain an understanding of her…” Study your wife! What causes her tension & frustration? Serve her in those areas! Be a help to her!