A Distinctly Christ-Centered Home (Part I)

It Starts With Communication

I’m quite sure that everyone would agree that communication plays a huge part in family relationships! I heard of a man and wife who had only a dog that they loved like a child. One day, the wife headed out on a business trip, and when she got to her destination, she called home to check in with her husband. “How are things going?” she asked. His reply was shocking: “The dog’s dead.” “What?” she asked. “Why would you just come right out and say it like that? That’s devastating! Couldn’t you have told me that news a little differently? I’m miles from home, and you just blurt it out there—‘the dog’s dead.’” “Well, I don’t know how else to say it,” he responded. “I mean, he’s dead!” “Well,” she said, “you could have broken the news to me in stages.” “Like, what do you mean?” he asked. “Well, when I first called, you could have told me the dog fell off the roof. Then, when I checked in later, you might have said you had to take the dog to the animal hospital and he wasn’t doing well. The next day, you might have told me to sit down and brace myself—our darling dog has passed away! You could have done it like that so I could have handled it better.” “Okay, I get it,” he said. “I’m sorry! I’ll try to do better next time.” “Okay, thanks, honey,” she said. “I just needed to clear that up. So, how is my mother?” There was a pause. “She’s on the roof!” While that story may or may not have a whole lot to do with a distinctly Christ-centered home, I thought it was worth the chuckle it might generate.

A Uniquely Distinct Home

So let me begin this series of posts with the following statement—the life of a Christian husband and wife will be uniquely distinct from the marriages of the world! If you intend to follow Jesus, you need to settle that in your heart! The world will think us crazy, but that’s the world’s wisdom. Always remember: “The foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom” (1 Corinthians 1:25). As long as we live by “the Book,” our worldview will never be accepted by the unbelieving crowd. We need to be okay with that! Don’t be abrasive about it. Always be kind and respectful when sharing your position. Just know that your view will be rejected.

Your Life As A Christian Wife

According to the Holy Spirit of God, who inspired Peter to write these words, your life as a Christian wife will be marked by submission to your own husband: “In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the Christian message, they may be won over without a message by the way their wives live” (1 Peter 3:1). Ladies, you’ll make no friends with the “Women’s Movement” if submission marks your relationship with your husband—but you will be a friend of God! That word “submit”—in the original Greek language—means to submit voluntarily to your husband’s lead. And notice how significant that could be in an unbelieving husband’s life. If your husband is disobedient to God, God may use your obedience to win your husband over to the Lord! (PART II Next Week)

Children That Please God

Scripture Speaks To Children

I find it interesting that in his letter to the Colossian church, Paul speaks directly to children: “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” — Colossians 3:20. In a section of Scripture devoted to family issues, Paul expects children to read and adhere to his admonition. And if obedience to parents pleases the Lord, we can infer from that that God is not pleased with children who disobey their parents. Yes, He still loves them—but He’s not pleased with them!

Disobedience Produces A Hard Life

I used to tell our kids, “Hey, I’ve figured out how to never get in trouble with your parents! If you never disobey them, you’ll never get in trouble with them!” I would often remind them, “The way of the transgressor is hard!” If Paul were writing a letter to your kids today, I think he’d say something like this: “Your life is going to be hard if you insist on disobeying your parents. Why put yourself through that? Disobedience produces a hard life because your parents are always on you—and God is not pleased with you! So, OBEY! Your life will be much easier!” Jesus set the example of obedience—both to His Heavenly Father and to His earthly father.

Attitude Originates In The Heart

Obedience is a matter of the heart. It’s not just about obeying outwardly—your body language can show disrespect even if you did what you were told! Grumbling, rolling your eyes, shrugging your shoulders, stomping off, banging doors, sassing, arguing, justifying your behavior by making excuses, rationalizing with a “Jimmy’s mom doesn’t make him do that…”—all point to a disobedient attitude of the heart. And to delay is the same as disobedience! When Paul wrote on the same topic to the Ephesian church, he told them that honoring your parents will earn a reward of long life. Put the two together—HONOR your parents by OBEYING them!

Fathers Are Significant

Back to his letter to the Colossians—Paul also pointed out that fathers play a significant part in raising children who please God: “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so they won’t become discouraged.” — Colossians 3:21. I don’t believe that Paul is suggesting Mom has no responsibility in raising children; rather, he’s calling out Dad for his headship in the home. He’s to be the family shepherd and leader.

Don’t Crush Your Child’s Spirit

Dad needs to be the leader when it comes to voluntarily loving his wife sacrificially (as we noted in our previous post). And he needs to step up his leadership when it comes to training the children. Don’t exasperate your children, Dad—or you’ll discourage them. You’ll crush their spirit. That’s what it means to discourage them. Don’t make promises you don’t keep. Don’t change your mind without a very good reason. Don’t withhold compliments. Give them credit for the good things they do—for the times they’re obedient. They’ll remember it forever. But they’ll also remember when you fail to compliment them for a job well done. Love them unconditionally, Mom and Dad—and give them room to grow.