God’s Design For The Family

We’re All Someone’s Son or Daughter

Family and parenting are subjects that all of us can relate to! We’re all part of a family. We’re all someone’s son or daughter. If we’re married, we’re someone’s husband or wife. If not, we’re probably hoping to one day be someone’s husband or wife. Most of us either have kids or hope to have a family someday. Our infinitely wise Creator designed a husband and wife to complement—or complete—each other. And He’s also designed the family to work together in a certain way.

Something Beautiful Happens

When the family works the way God designed it, something awesome and beautiful happens! Families bring glory to God and joy to each family member when God’s design specifications are followed by faith. The Apostle Paul wrote a letter to the ancient church of Colossae that is hated by the world. But if, by faith, you will believe God’s Word and live it out—by the power of God’s Holy Spirit—your family will bring glory to God, and you will find joy! Your life will be a blessing to your family and to everyone you rub shoulders with in life. “And whatever you do,” Paul begins, “in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. Wives, be submissive to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and don’t be bitter toward them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so they won’t become discouraged.” —Colossians 3:17–21.

Do It God’s Way

Whatever you do, Paul says, do it God’s way—according to His design—including husbands, wives, and families! That’s the context here. Wives! He begins with wives. If you want to bring glory to God and live a joy-filled life, be submissive to your husband. Now, the order has perplexed a number of believers. Why did the Holy Spirit inspire Paul to begin with instruction to the wives? I don’t know! There are a number of differing opinions, and I do have my own. I think it has to do with the meaning of that word “submit” or “be submissive.” The word in the original language meant “a voluntary attitude of giving in, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden.” The key word is voluntary. The wife voluntarily submits to her husband.

Not Meant To Lord It Over Her

So here’s the message I think the Spirit wants to convey: the husband is not meant to lord it over his wife by demanding that she submit. Rather, the wife is to willingly, voluntarily submit. If the husband were addressed first, we might have read into it that the husband’s responsibility is to demand that his wife submit. So, God removes any inclination the husband might have to demand submission by addressing the wives first: “Ladies, you need to voluntarily give in to your husband’s lead.” God commands this—not because the wife is incapable. Not because she’s not his equal. Don’t confuse submission with inequality! We submit to our bosses at work, not because of inequality, but because of order. God designed an order to the home. Even Jesus submitted to His parents as part of the created order!

Honoring Jesus With Our Gender

The Culture Doesn’t Get It

We honor Jesus in our hearts when we obey Him with our lifestyles. And by our obedient lifestyle, we create curiosity. The answer the culture is giving about our sexual identity isn’t working—and it never will. But when we live sexually in obedience to God’s Word, we earn the right to share it when the world gets curious—to share with them the Gospel and God’s purpose for gender. This is difficult subject matter! It’s layered with lots of abuse and painful injuries dating all the way back to the Garden of Eden, and it’s just not easy to jump into without laying a foundation of understanding, empathy, and love.

Say It With Empathy & Love

And that is what the world needs from us: understanding, empathy, and love. It’s simply not helpful when, instead, we offer them self-righteous judgment and vindictiveness. So, let me try to unpack some of the main points from the first two chapters of Genesis—especially as it relates to gender and sexual identity. We need to take note of some of the implications it has for our homes, our families, and how it plays into our child-rearing. Keep in mind, from an interpretive standpoint of the text, that Genesis chapter 1 presents the “big picture” of God’s creative act, and chapter 2 fills in the details. Chapter 1 is like the Super Bowl headlines the day after—“Patriots Win the Most Boring Super Bowl Ever”—and chapter 2 is like the story that fills in the details of how the Patriots pummeled the Rams into submission.

What Shapes Our Opinions?

Let’s also remember the most important detail as followers of Jesus Christ: when determining our roles as men and women, God’s Word must shape our opinions—not the culture! And perhaps the most significant point of the text is that God created humanity to reflect His image: “Then God said, ‘Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness. They will rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, the livestock, all the earth, and the creatures that crawl on the earth’” (Genesis 1:26). God created humanity to function as His living image over the creation. And I believe it’s correct to interpret “man” here as “mankind,” including both man and woman. I believe the next verse bears that out—God created humanity to bear His image as male and female.

God Created Maleness & Femaleness

The text says:  “So God created man in His own image; He created him in the image of God; He created them male and female” (Genesis 1:27).  Our “maleness” and our “femaleness” are essential parts of being God’s image-bearers. Somehow—and I don’t want to get weird here—but somehow it seems that God is saying it was in the complementing or the completing of the man with the creation of woman that humanity was created in the image of God. That image wasn’t clear or evident until woman complemented God’s creation of man. So here’s my plea: Men and women—we need each other to correctly image God in His creation! When we grasp the significance of that, we’ll begin to glory in both manhood and womanhood. Together, we are God’s intentional design of human diversity!
 

Designed To Complement

Taking A Vacation: Next Post July 2nd

Is Gender Inequality Real?

Gender inequality is receiving a lot of attention these days. I’m referring to the claim that there is unequal treatment of individuals based on their gender. Some of this mistreatment is “perceived,” but much of it is very real! Some claim there is a gender pay gap, and in many cases, the facts support that claim. There’s also a resulting link to career advancement—that one’s gender impedes their progress up the company ladder.

There’s Perspective With Age

I’ve mentioned before—about growing older—that one of the few advantages I have over those younger than me is that I have a perspective they can’t possibly have. I have a kind of panoramic view of time, having grown up in the 1960s. More than just a historical perspective, I lived it! I remember when Bobby Riggs challenged Billie Jean King to a tennis match that became known as the “Battle of the Sexes.” It received international attention, and when King won, it became a kind of rallying cry for what has become the women’s movement.

Gender Resentment’s Not Cool

Now, let me be clear about something: I admit that from the beginning of time, men in general have been guilty of inflicting much harm and gender inequality against women—and I applaud many of the changes that have been made to correct that! At the same time—here is my “old man” perspective—I have noted in my lifetime a deep, pervasive gender resentment that has bubbled up and boiled over in our day. We’re at this zero-sum competition. As a society, we’re not looking for the win-win. There’s a lack of togetherness and teamwork between the sexes. It’s become “us against them,” and the only way one gender wins is if the opposite gender loses. It’s “either-or” when it ought to be “both-and.” Either men rule the world, or women do. The sexes are more divided than ever, and the sexual orientation and “sexual identity” issues are the natural fallout of this fighting between the genders. The world is lost and confused and needs to be rescued. The Church can help bring sanity to the struggle by embracing the counsel of God’s Word and living it out in our homes and in the public square. And let me add that we bring that discussion with love, patience, and gentleness!

The Way God Designed Us

God’s design for the man and the woman promotes beauty and harmony in the relationship between the sexes! God’s design for men and women is absolute equality in status, but a difference in roles. All the cultural debate over homosexuality, transgenderism, pornography, public policy concerning women being drafted for combat, church debates over women pastors, and marital conflicts over “who’s in charge” in the home—all of it is addressed directly or by implication in God’s Word. When determining our roles as men and women, God and His Word must shape our opinions, not the culture. To do otherwise is deadly! The culture is broken and doesn’t have the answers. It all begins with Genesis in my next post!

Honoring Jesus With Our Gender!

-The Culture Doesn’t Get It!

We honor Jesus in our hearts when we obey Him with our lifestyles! And, by our obedient lifestyle, we create curiosity! The answer the culture is giving, about our sexual identity, isn’t working! And, it never will! But, when we live, sexually, in obedience to God’s word, we earn the right to share it when the world gets curious— to share with them the Gospel and God’s purpose for gender. This is difficult subject matter! It’s layered with lots of abuse & painful injuries dating all the way back to the Garden of Eden; and, it’s just not easy to jump into without laying a foundation of understanding with empathy and love.

-Say It With Empathy & Love!

And, that is what the world needs from us— understanding, empathy and love! It’s simply not helpful when, instead, we offer them self-righteous judgment and vindictiveness! So, let me try and unpack some of the main points from the first 2 chapters of Genesis; especially, as it relates to gender & sexual identity. We need to take note of some of the implications it plays for our homes, our families, and, how it plays into our child rearing. Keep in mind,   from an interpretive standpoint of the text, that Genesis ch.1 presents the “Big Picture” of God’s creative act; and, ch. 2 fills in the “details.” Chapter 1 is like the Super Bowl headlines the day after—  “Patriots Win The Most Boring Super Bowl Ever”; and, ch.2 is like the story that fills in the details how the Patriots pummeled the Rams into submission.

-What Shapes Our Opinions?

Let’s also remember the most important detail as a Follower of Jesus Christ—  When determining our roles, as men and women, God’s Word must shape our opinions, not the culture! And, perhaps, the most significant point, of the text, is that God created humanity to reflect HIS IMAGE.  “Then God said, ‘Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness. They will rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, the livestock, all the earth, and the creatures that crawl on the earth’” ch. 1:26.  God created humanity to function as His living image over the creation; and, I believe it’s correct to interpret “man” here as “mankind”; including, BOTH man & woman! I believe the next verse bears that out—  God created humanity to bear His image as MALE & FEMALE!

-God Created Maleness & Femaleness!

The text says, “So God created man in His own image; He created him in the image of God; He created them male and female”  ch. 1:27. Our “maleness” and our “femaleness” are essential parts of being God’s image bearers! Somehow—and, I don’t want to get “weird” here—but, somehow it seems that God is saying that it was in the “complementing” or the “completing” of the man with the creation of woman, that humanity was created in the image of God. That image wasn’t clear or evident until woman complemented God’s creation of man. So, here’s my plea:  Men & Women! We need each other to correctly image God in His creation! When we grasp the significance of that we’ll begin to glory in both “MANHOOD” & “WOMANHOOD.” Together, we are God’s intentional design of human diversity!

 

Designed To Complement!

-Is Gender Inequality Real?

Gender inequality is receiving a lot of attention these days. I’m referring to the claim that there is unequal treatment of individuals based on their gender. Some of this mistreatment is “perceived”; but, much of it is very real! Some claim there is a gender pay gap; and, in many cases the facts support that claim! There’s also a resulting link to career advancement— that one’s gender impedes their advancement up the company ladder!

-There’s Perspective With Age!

I’ve mentioned before— about growing older— that one of the few advantages I have, over those younger than me, is that I have a “PERSPECTIVE” they can’t possibly have! I have a kind of panoramic view of time since growing up in the 1960’s. More than just a historical perspective, I lived it! I remember when Bobby Riggs challenged Billie Jean King to a tennis match that became known as the “Battle of the Sexes.” It received international attention; and, when King won, it became a kind of “rally cry” to what has been the women’s movement!

-Gender Resentment’s Not Cool!

Now, let me be clear about something! I admit that from the beginning of time, men, in general, have been guilty of inflicting much harm & gender inequality against women; and, I applaud many of the changes that have been made to correct that! At the same time—here is my “old man” perspective— I have noted, in my lifetime, a deep pervasive gender resentment has bubbled up & boiled over in our day. We’re at this “zero-sum competition”! As a society we’re not looking for the WIN-WIN. There’s this lack of togetherness & teamwork between the sexes! It’s become “US against THEM”; and, the only way one gender wins is if the opposite gender loses! It’s “EITHER-OR” when it ought to be “BOTH-AND.” Either men rule the world; or, women do! The sexes are more divided than ever; and, the sexual orientation & “sexual identity” issues are the natural fallout of this fighting between the genders! The world is lost & confused & needs to be rescued & the Church can help bring sanity to the struggle by embracing the counsel of God’s word & living it out in our homes & in the public square & let me add that we bring that discussion with LOVE, PATIENCE & GENTLENESS!

-The Way God Designed Us!

God’s design for the man & the woman promotes beauty & harmony in the relationship between the sexes! God’s design for men & women is absolute equality in status; but, a difference in the roles! All the cultural debate over homosexuality, transgenderism, pornography, public policy concerning women being drafted for combat, church debates over women pastors, and, marital conflicts over “who’s in charge” in the home— ALL of it is addressed directly or by implication in God’s Word. When determining our roles, as men and women, God & His Word must shape our opinions, not the culture! To do otherwise is deadly! The culture is broken & doesn’t have the answers! It all begins with Genesis in my next post!