Complementary Love & Submission!

-It’s Not About Inequality!

In our culture we tend to equate any kind of “submission” to another person as a sign of “inequality.” That’s unfortunate because it simply isn’t true! All of us submit to our boss at work; not, because of inequality; but, because of order! God designed order into every area of His world; including, the home! Jesus, Himself, submitted to that order in the home:  “And He (Jesus) went down with them (his parents) and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them” Luke 2:51.  I certainly hope that doesn’t mean that Jesus, the 2nd member of the Triune Godhead, was somehow BENEATH His human parents!

-Jesus Submitted To The Father!

And, what of Jesus’ submission to the Father within the Triune Godhead? He is just as much “GOD” as the Father and the Spirit. But, He voluntarily gave in to the Father’s lead:  “Make your own attitude that of Christ Jesus, who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God as something to be used for His own advantage. Instead He emptied Himself by assuming the form of a slave, taking on the likeness of men. And when He had come as a man in His external form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death—even to death on a cross” Phil. 2:5-8. Did you see that? He was EQUAL with God, the Father; but, He didn’t use that to His own advantage! Rather, He humbled Himself and voluntarily became obedient to the Father!

-Wives Looking Like Jesus!

Wives—nothing you do, within the structure of your home, makes you look more like Jesus, than when you VOLUNTARILY give up control to your husband! Not because you’re incapable! In fact, I’ve counseled many marriages in which the WIFE was clearly the more “CAPABLE” leader; but, when she gave that up voluntarily it changed the entire dynamics of their home. By doing so, she empowered her husband to lead and love; and, she “imaged” Jesus for her children. Ladies, that’s how you complement your husband according to God’s design for the home! And, men, you complement your wife’s voluntary submission by your LOVE for her.  “HUSBANDS, LOVE your wives…” Colossians 3:19.

-A Voluntary, Sacrificial Love!

The context, of this Colossians 3 passage, shows that the wife’s submission is prompted by a husband who shows her unselfish love. In no way does the Scripture imply that the husband is to DEMAND submission from his wife! It’s impossible to draw that meaning from this text. The relationships are understood to be reciprocal. He gains the voluntary submission of his wife as he loves her & she enjoys more of his love as she voluntarily submits to him! That word translated “love” is “agape” in the original language; and, it’s interesting that “agape” love is a “voluntary, sacrificial kind of love.” Her submission is to be voluntary & his love his to be given voluntarily. It’s not governed by feelings! It’s a love that looks out for her best interests, regardless! A love that refuses to turn “bitter” as Paul points out in the rest of v.19.

 

God’s Design For The Family!

-We’re All Someone’s Son Or Daughter!

Family & parenting are subjects that all of us can relate to! We’re all part of a family. We’re all someone’s son or daughter. If we’re married, we’re someone’s husband or wife. If not, we’re probably hoping to one day be someone’s husband or wife.  Most of us either have kids; or, we HOPE to have a family someday! Our infinitely wise Creator designed a husband & wife to complement; or, complete each other. And, He’s also designed the family to work together a certain way!

-Something Beautiful Happens!

When the family works the way that God designed it, something awesome and beautiful happens! Families bring glory to God; and, joy to each family member, when God’s design specifications are followed by faith. The Apostle Paul wrote a letter, to the ancient Church of Colosse, that is hated by the world! But, if, by faith, you will believe God’s Word; and, live it out— by the power of God’s Holy Spirit— your family will bring glory to God; and, you will find joy! Your life will be a blessing to your family; and, to everyone you rub shoulders with in life.  “And whatever you do,” Paul begins, “in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.  Wives, be submissive to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and don’t be bitter toward them. Children obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so they won’t become discouraged” Colossians 3:17-21.

-Do It God’s Way!

Whatever you do, Paul says, do it God’s way, according to His design—including husbands, wives & family! That’s the context here! Wives! He begins with wives— if you wanna bring glory to God & live a joy-filled life—Be submissive to your husband! Now, the order has perplexed a number of believers. Why did the Holy Spirit inspire Paul to begin with instruction to the wives? I don’t know! There are a number of differing opinions; and, I do have my own opinion. I think it has to do with the meaning of that word “submit” or “be submissive.” The word, in the original language, meant “a VOLUNTARY attitude of giving in, assuming responsibility & carrying a burden.” The key word is “VOLUNTARY.” The wife VOLUNTARILY submits to her husband.

-Not Meant To Lord It Over Her!

So, here’s the message I think the Spirit wants to convey— the husband is not meant to LORD it over his wife by demanding that she submit! Rather, the wife is to willingly, voluntarily, submit! If the husband were addressed first, we might have read into it that the husbands’ responsibility is to demand that his wife submit. So, God removes any inclination the husband might have, to demand submission, by addressing the wives first:  “Ladies, you need to voluntarily give in to your husband’s lead.” God commands this— not, because the wife is incapable! Not because she’s not his equal! Don’t confuse “submission” with “inequality”! We submit to our bosses at work; not, because of inequality; but, because of order! God designed an order to the home. Even Jesus submitted to His parents as part of the created order!

 

Designed To Complement!

-Is Gender Inequality Real?

Gender inequality is receiving a lot of attention these days. I’m referring to the claim that there is unequal treatment of individuals based on their gender. Some of this mistreatment is “perceived”; but, much of it is very real! Some claim there is a gender pay gap; and, in many cases the facts support that claim! There’s also a resulting link to career advancement— that one’s gender impedes their advancement up the company ladder!

-There’s Perspective With Age!

I’ve mentioned before— about growing older— that one of the few advantages I have, over those younger than me, is that I have a “PERSPECTIVE” they can’t possibly have! I have a kind of panoramic view of time since growing up in the 1960’s. More than just a historical perspective, I lived it! I remember when Bobby Riggs challenged Billie Jean King to a tennis match that became known as the “Battle of the Sexes.” It received international attention; and, when King won, it became a kind of “rally cry” to what has been the women’s movement!

-Gender Resentment’s Not Cool!

Now, let me be clear about something! I admit that from the beginning of time, men, in general, have been guilty of inflicting much harm & gender inequality against women; and, I applaud many of the changes that have been made to correct that! At the same time—here is my “old man” perspective— I have noted, in my lifetime, a deep pervasive gender resentment has bubbled up & boiled over in our day. We’re at this “zero-sum competition”! As a society we’re not looking for the WIN-WIN. There’s this lack of togetherness & teamwork between the sexes! It’s become “US against THEM”; and, the only way one gender wins is if the opposite gender loses! It’s “EITHER-OR” when it ought to be “BOTH-AND.” Either men rule the world; or, women do! The sexes are more divided than ever; and, the sexual orientation & “sexual identity” issues are the natural fallout of this fighting between the genders! The world is lost & confused & needs to be rescued & the Church can help bring sanity to the struggle by embracing the counsel of God’s word & living it out in our homes & in the public square & let me add that we bring that discussion with LOVE, PATIENCE & GENTLENESS!

-The Way God Designed Us!

God’s design for the man & the woman promotes beauty & harmony in the relationship between the sexes! God’s design for men & women is absolute equality in status; but, a difference in the roles! All the cultural debate over homosexuality, transgenderism, pornography, public policy concerning women being drafted for combat, church debates over women pastors, and, marital conflicts over “who’s in charge” in the home— ALL of it is addressed directly or by implication in God’s Word. When determining our roles, as men and women, God & His Word must shape our opinions, not the culture! To do otherwise is deadly! The culture is broken & doesn’t have the answers! It all begins with Genesis in my next post!