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Handling Conflict In The Church
Put Up With One Another
It amazes me how quickly the advocates of “tolerance” sound off & run off everyone who disagrees with them. Not very tolerant, are they? The Apostle Paul tells the Church of Rome to knock off that kind of behavior. He says that God intends to grow you spiritually as you learn to willingly put up with one another— “Each one of us must please his neighbor for his good, to build him up” (Rom. 15:2). We don’t join a faith community to please ourselves! The purpose, of becoming a church member, is to please our neighbor “…for his good, to build him up.” Or, to “edify” if you prefer to use the theological term!
We’re Here To Serve Others
It’s a matter of focus— our interaction, in the body, should be “other’s focused”, not “self-focused.” Like Jesus, we’re here to serve others; not, to be served! Only when we put up with each other; and, bear with the weaknesses of others, will God use us to help construct the spiritual lives of others! It’s having the mindset of a “discipler”— someone who helps others grow as a disciple of Jesus. There’s no better motivator than Jesus Himself. God will give us grace to put up with each other; and, to build up each other, as we look to Jesus for our motivation! As we fix our eyes on Christ, we remember that He did not come to please Himself; but, He made Himself a servant (See Philippians 2:5-11). Paul said: “For even the Messiah did not please Himself. On the contrary, as it is written, The insults of those who insult You have fallen on Me” (Rom. 15:3). He’s quoting Psalm 69:9 and referring to Jesus.
Love Like Jesus Loved
Jesus embraced the insults of mean-spirited, hateful people; and, on the cross, He bore the reproach that we should have bore! We love like Jesus loved when we willingly endure each other’s “heat-of-the-moment” hasty words; and, rather than returning evil for evil, we seek to resolve the conflict & make peace! We extend grace! So, look again at the progression of Paul’s words in Romans 15— if we’re going to be strong enough, in our faith, to “put up” with weak or prickly people (v.1); and, “build them up” (v.2) when we’re tempted to smack them, we have to “look up” to Jesus (v.3); and, “grow up” in our faith (v.4). We won’t get that kind of counsel from the world!
Understand The Scriptures
Paul tells the Church of Rome that we can only have that Christ-like mindset as we understand the Scriptures— or, those things which were “written in the past” (v.4). It’s only through the “instruction” and “encouragement” of the Word, he says, that we have any hope of enduring those difficult relationships in life. And, we will never “grow up” in our faith if we run away from every uncomfortable or difficult relationship in our faith community. We need to remain faithful to one another as a testimony to those outside the Church. In a band, there are all kinds of different instruments & a variety of musicians playing them. But, bring them all together under the direction of a capable conductor & they can produce beautiful music together. That beautifully illustrates the Church when Jesus is doing the conducting!
God Uses Us To Grow Each Other
The Work Of Christ
God intends that the church of Christ would do the work of Christ! But, NOT in the strength of our flesh! “The Spirit gives life; and the flesh counts for nothing” (John 6:63) Jesus said He would send the Holy Spirit to indwell us when He completed His work on the cross & returned to the Father after His resurrection! He indwells us to empower us as God’s ambassadors; so, that He might reconcile the spiritually dead with the Savior; and, disciple them into the faith!
We Who Are Strong
Paul, inspired by God’s Holy Spirit, showed the Church of Rome what that looks like: “We who are strong have an obligation to bear the weaknesses of those without strength, and not to please ourselves. Each one of us must please his neighbor for his good, to build him up. For even the Messiah did not please Himself. On the contrary, as it is written, The insults of those who insult You have fallen on Me. For whatever was written in the past was written for our instruction, so that we may have hope through endurance and through the encouragement from the Scriptures. Now may the God who gives endurance and encouragement allow you to live in harmony with one another, according to the command of Christ Jesus, so that you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ with a united mind and voice” (Romans 15:1-6). I can’t think of a better summary statement for that Scripture than something like this— never look down on anyone else unless you are reaching down to help them up!
Defer To The Needs Of Others
Paul’s charge, here, is to humble yourselves & to defer to the needs of others in the body; and, he uses Jesus as THE example! No one has ever humbled Himself more than Jesus! So, here’s the bottom line: God intends to use us— as local church faith communities— to help produce spiritual growth & maturity in the rest of the body! So, when we’re disinterested or disengaged from one another, we actually become a hindrance to the spiritual work in others, that Jesus intends to do through us. To begin with, the process is just as simple as willingly putting up with each other: “…bear with the weaknesses of those without strength…” (v.1) In other words, we’re not just here to please ourselves! We’re here to serve others! Even as His time to take up the cross for the sin of the world was drawing near, He still served His disciples by a selfless act of foot-washing. He concluded by instructing them: “I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you” John 13:15
Be Tolerant Of One Another
If we can’t tolerate the different personalities; or, the different stages of spiritual growth that we’re all at; then, we’re not useable for God’s purposes. Paul’s use of the terms “strong” & “weak” is relative— I am “strong” in comparison to my 4 grandchildren; but, I am “weak” in comparison to Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, right? So it is spiritually! We can all find someone, in our faith community, who is stronger than we are spiritually; and, someone else who is weaker. Notice, when considering that, that Paul doesn’t command the weak to “SHAPE UP”; but, he does command the strong to “PUT UP.” To “BEAR” with the weaknesses of others means “to endure patiently; to indulge.” We need Holy Spirit help to be longsuffering & patient with each other! That’s how God intends to grow YOU & those He expects you to tolerate!
Church Community Encourages Growth
Celebrate The Differences
During our 41 years of marriage & ministry together, my wife and I have had several opportunities to minister to some married couples who were struggling with their relationship. And, more often than not, they were fighting over the very things they originally found attractive about each other— their differences! Oh yes, indeed, opposites do attract! I have never yet met a couple who were matched up because of their likenesses. And, if you don’t celebrate the differences from the start of the marriage, you’ll begin to see them as irritants after a while.
Diversity Adds Strength
Those differences were obvious early on; and, they were seen as complimentary because each one filled in some deficiency in the other person. That’s also true in the faith community that makes up every local church. Have you noticed how different each individual member is in your church? We all have different backgrounds & upbringings; and, that diversity adds strength to the faith community! But— like marriage— those differences can become problematic to our fellowship if we’re not careful. We can look at how different we are & conclude that we just can’t fellowship with those people! When we go there we make the same mistake as the troubled married couple! The differences that my wife & I brought into the marriage gave us perspective; and, stretched us because they exposed our individual weaknesses & our need to make some changes in our lives.
How God Uses His Church
I believe we are each a better person because we’ve grown in those areas, to be more like the other person. God uses His church to accomplish the same thing in our lives— our differences and our diversity make us stronger! God often exposes our weaknesses & our sinful tendencies through the strengths of others. Our interaction, within the faith community, is one of the MOST significant ways that God grows us spiritually! It’s the friction that we encounter, in our church family, that gives the Holy Spirit the necessary traction to grow us! So, don’t ever look condescendingly at anyone! The Apostle Paul, in his letter to the Roman believers, points out the fact that there are individuals— within the church— who are strong spiritually; and, others who are weak! And, that can be said of every local church! No two people are ever at the exact same level of spiritual maturity!
Spiritual Infants Need Your Help
In every faith community, some are spiritually weak in their faith. Perhaps they’re a spiritual “infant” because they’ve never been discipled. Their greatest need is for someone spiritually mature in the faith, to come alongside them & show them how to grow. Others are weak because they’ve been wounded or hurt— it could be spiritual, emotional, or physical pain that they’re dealing with! Again, they just need someone to love them enough to come alongside them & take the time to listen; and, to help! God intends for the Church of Christ to do the work of Christ! That’s why He sent the Holy Spirit to indwell every believer so that we could reconcile people to God! In the letter from Paul to the Roman believers, which I alluded to earlier, the Holy Spirit inspired him to write: “We who are strong have an obligation to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves. Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.” It is our spiritual obligation to leave no believer behind. Build them up!
What A Healthy Church Looks Like
A Holy Spirit-Empowered Organism
God’s work is never accomplished in the strength of the flesh! The book of Acts describes the early church as a supernatural, Holy Spirit-empowered organism. What we read, in the 2nd chapter, is the result of a healthy church living in obedience to Jesus. After His resurrection, He gathered the disciples; and, He commissioned them to go & do something— He commissioned them to make disciples of all nations!
Wait For God’s Spirit
But, He told them 1st to go to an upper room, in Jerusalem, and, WAIT for God’s Holy Spirit to indwell them & empower them! And, that’s exactly what they did! In the power, of the Holy Spirit, they began to make disciples! It says: “Those who accepted the message were baptized, and that day about 3,000 people were added to them. And they devoted themselves to the Apostle’s teaching, to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread, and to the prayers. Then fear came over everyone, and many wonders and signs were being performed through the apostles. Now all the believers were together and held all things in common. They sold their possessions and property and distributed the proceeds to all, as anyone had a need. Every day they devoted themselves to meeting together in the temple complex and broke bread from house to house. They ate their food with a joyful and humble attitude, praising God and having favor with all the people. And every day the Lord added to them those who were being saved” (Acts 2:41-47).
The Normal Way Of The Spirit
The church grew spiritually & numerically! This is the normal way that the Spirit of God works. When a church gets spiritually healthy, Jesus uses them to add disciples— a healthy church is loyal to God & to one another in their devotion to sound doctrine. The text says “…they devoted themselves…” to the teaching of the Apostles! That word “devoted” literally means to be “loyal” or “attached” to something—the church was LOYAL to the teaching of the Apostles; so, they were LOYAL to sound doctrine! That’s a mark of a healthy church—it’s “Word” centered! It’s “gospel-centered”! That means it exposes “error”—all teachings contrary to the Apostle’s! Any church that fails to expose error; and, fails to align with the New Testament teachings of the Apostles is unhealthy! And, we do so out of loyalty, and, attachment to God first; but, also to the rest of the members of our local church!
It’s A Challenge To Stay Healthy
As a faith community, we show loyalty to each other; and, Biblical love for each other when we insist that everything we teach & preach— in classes, in Small Groups, in the pulpit— is consistent with the Apostle’s teachings in the New Testament! Can you imagine the challenges, of this church, in Jerusalem? Adding 3,000 new believers in one day is both a Pastor’s “DREAM” & a Pastor’s “NIGHTMARE.” All the variety of backgrounds! Their ignorance of basic Bible doctrines! What a mammoth task to disciple them all in their new faith— but, they were “devoted” or “loyal” to each other & that made all the difference! May God continue to strengthen our commitment to Him, knowing that as He does, He’ll also strengthen our commitment to everyone who calls MBC their church home! Amen
Devoted To Church Community
The Current Response To Church
Unity is always God’s will for His Church! Satan, on the other hand, is always working to sow seeds of “DISUNITY” among those individuals that comprise a local church community! Because Satan has been so successful—at promoting disunity—many believers have determined to live a life of “isolation” while still attending church; and, others have elected to “quit” church altogether! Listen believer: “God never intended for you to live your Christian life in a vacuum!” I am so sorry that you’ve been “wounded”! I truly am! The Christian life was never intended to be lived alone; but, in the context of a “community.”
Misunderstanding Community
Now, I’ve noticed that all it takes for some of us to “check out” is to hear the word “community.” Your eyes kind of roll to the back of your head! You cross your fingers & hope we’ll quickly change the subject! It’s like you’re afraid I’m going to tell you to sell everything you own, join a commune, and, raise organic fruits & vegetables! If that’s what you think, it’s because you misunderstand what community means in the Biblical context of a local church. It’s something that, once you grasp its meaning, you’ll never let go of it because of its relational beauty! In our hearts, we all want Biblical community—it makes no difference your personality type! Whether you’re an introvert, an extrovert, or, socially awkward, all of us long for meaningful human relationships!
The Community Of The Godhead
That’s how God “wired” us—in HIS “image”—in the “community” of the Triune Godhead! He is, Himself, a “community” of 3 persons—ONE God existing in the perfect, loving, community of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Even those of us, who’ve been “wounded” by someone, still keep searching for deep, authentic, relationships. The word “community” is a compound word: “COM” meaning “with”; and, “UNITY” meaning… “unity.” So, it means to “be unified”; or, have a “common union.” In the church, it just means to share our common life “IN” Christ. Now that’s a problem, in America, where the typical response is to look for a church where WE can “be fed”; and where our family can be ministered “unto.” That response is foreign in Scripture! It is an unbiblical, unhealthy, consumer-driven mindset that has hi-jacked Jesus Christ’s intended purpose for HIS CHURCH! It requires repentance!
We’re Not Just Here For You
The church— the followers of Jesus— is NOT made up of those who “minister”; and, those who are “ministered to”! Rather, ALL are to minister! “And, let us (ALL of us!) consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24). “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). More than 60 times the phrase “each other” or “one another” is found in the N.T. commanding the church in the ways they’re to minister & care for one another! Every person can say, “We’re not just here for you; you’re here for us also!” That’s the responsibility of everyone in the faith community! The church that fails in that is crippled; and, guilty of “man-centered” narcissistic consumerism!
Your Good Works May Offend God
Jesus’ Sacrificial Act
Being a disciple of Jesus does not begin with something we do; but, with something Jesus has already done! When Jesus went to the cross, He redeemed our relationship with the Father that was broken by our sin against Him! By Jesus’ death on the cross, He paid the penalty for our sins that we should have paid so that the Father would be just to grant us forgiveness, grace, mercy & love. By Jesus’ sacrificial act, He made a way for the Father to adopt us into His family when we accept the work of His Son & His payment on our behalf.
Quit Trying To Earn God’s Favor
But Jesus’ work, on our behalf is only effective when we quit trying to work our way into the Father’s favor! We must accept God’s offer of salvation through Christ alone by grace alone; and, cast aside any hope that our good deeds might impress the Father. Can you see how offensive it is to God when we try to make ourselves presentable to Him? We trample on His Son’s sacrifice when we try to impress God with our “perceived” good deeds! We spit in His face & tell Him His Son’s work on the cross wasn’t good enough; that, we need to “add” our own.
What God Requires
What God requires of us is nothing more than humility & brokenness, along with a confession that we’re not worthy & incapable of ever becoming worthy of the salvation He offers us! What we need is a new start; a new beginning; a new birth! “You MUST be born again,” Jesus said. He was referencing a “SPIRITUAL” birth. Your “physical” birth makes you a citizen of this world; but, only your “spiritual” birth can make you a citizen of heaven! That becomes your new identity! You’re no longer a citizen of this world; rather, Scripture calls you a “temporary resident” here! Your citizenship is heaven! And, that’s where we have to begin when we start a conversation about “spiritual growth.”
Your Identity In Christ
You have to be sure of your identity— in Christ— before you can ever hope to mature as a disciple of Christ. That is what Paul said happens at the moment of faith. Here’s how the Amplified Bible expands on the meaning of Paul’s words: “Therefore if anyone is in Christ [that is, grafted in, joined to Him by faith in Him as Savior], he is a new creature [reborn and renewed by the Holy Spirit]; the old things [the previous moral and spiritual condition] have passed away. Behold, all things have become new [because spiritual awakening brings a new life]” (2 Corinthians 5:17)
You’re Not The Old You
If you’re a believer; or, a disciple of Jesus, you’re no longer that OLD you. You’ve become; and, are becoming the NEW you— the spiritually born-again you! And, one day God will finish the work He began in you that day you were converted— that’s the coming day of your “glorification”! Until that day, God will be at work in you, sanctifying you. That’s a big word— SANCTIFICATION— but, break it down to its simplest form & it’s the process by which God makes you more like Jesus and less like you! He does that, in part, by revealing to us our sin, convincing us to forsake it, and, empowering us to overcome it! The Apostle Paul summarized it well for the Church of Philippi when he wrote: “And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ” Philippians 1:6. What God started at your salvation; and He continues to do in your sanctification, He will complete at your glorification!
God Punishes Because He Loves
-God So Loved The World!
The most well known verse, in all of Scripture, is John 3:16. It says, “For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.” In this way, God proved His love— He sent Jesus to atone for our sin by His death on the cross! That’s really the end of the argument against God! For all the doubters of God’s love, mercy & grace there is the One & Only “Exhibit A”— His Name is Jesus! And, He bore God’s judgment against sin so we wouldn’t have to! So that we could be saved!
-Brokenness To Openness!
But, it’s only as we experience our brokenness that we become open to God’s overtures to save us! And, punishment is often the tool He uses to expose our brokenness! So, ultimately, it is because God is love that He punishes us to bring us to the place of brokenness; where, He can redeem us! And, there is perhaps no better Biblical example of that than God’s judgment of Judah & Jerusalem as they are overrun by Babylon’s King Nebuchadnezzar; and, taken into captivity & exile! The Biblical narrative reveals that God first warned them; then, punished them; and, finally, in love, He redeems them! To accomplish God’s purposes in our broken world, He first warns!
-A Skirmish You Can’t Win!
Disobedience to God & His Word will never turn out well for you! When you fight against God, it’s a skirmish you can’t possibly win! When I was young & very foolish I loved to get into fist fights out on the school playground! But, I always sized up the other guy first! There were some guys that I just knew I couldn’t take! So, I would find a way to wiggle out of that fight! I was foolish; but, I wasn’t stupid! I would do everything I could to avoid getting into a fight I knew I couldn’t win! So, why would anyone ever pick a fight with God! You can’t possibly win against a God who is all-powerful! You can’t outwit a God who knows everything there is to know! And, you can’t run away from a God who is everywhere!
-They Despised His Warnings!
And, yet, the Biblical account shows that Israel tried multiple times & lost! So, God warned them & warned them & warned them again! In 2 Chronicles, chapter 36, God reminds them of this: “But Yahweh, the God of their ancestors sent word against them by the hand of His messengers, sending them time and time again, for He had compassion on His people and on His dwelling place. But they kept ridiculing God’s messengers, despising His words, and scoffing at His prophets, until the Lord’s wrath was so stirred up against His people that there was no remedy” (vs. 15-16)
-God’s Compassion Toward Us!
Did you notice why God said He sent them prophets? Look at the end of v.15. It says He sent messengers to warn them, “…because He had compassion on His people…” God warns because of His great compassion toward us! He warns because He is Love! When you disobey God’s word you expose yourself to great danger! Sin lies to you! It promises pleasure! But, it always delivers pain! Sin is a destroyer! It destroys lives, families & nations! Just go back and read God’s 10 Commandments; and, consider the pain and suffering that comes to those who break them! The one who steals will be incarcerated! The one who lies will never be trusted! The one who sleeps with someone they’re not married to destroys relationships & families & brings hatred & disease upon themselves! Listen when God warns!
More Like Jesus, Less Like Me
Where Is Your Walk With The Lord?
Have you ever tried asking someone, “How are you doing spiritually?” They always say, “Good, Good,” right? Probably not a very good question. It’s not likely to get the real answer you’re looking for! Next time, try this instead: “So, where are you at in your walk with the Lord? And, on what criteria do you base your answer? How are you measuring your walk with Christ?” When we enter into that kind of conversation with someone, we need those “qualifying” or “follow-up” questions too! On what basis can we say we’re doing “good” when someone asks us how we’re doing spiritually?
If You Love Me
Do we measure our spiritual progress by the things we DO? Be careful! Don’t quickly dismiss the things we DO & SAY, that, “it’s only what’s in the heart that matters!” If our heart is right with God, it will impact the things we DO, right? Jesus said, “If you love Me, you will KEEP my commandments.” At the same time, we can DO all the RIGHT things for the WRONG reasons, can’t we? We can DO things to be SEEN of men; and, Jesus called that hypocrisy! I received a phone call, some time ago, from a young man who was saved years ago in my youth group in Colorado. He was on the pastoral staff of a church in Oregon; and, he called to ask if he could conduct an interview with me for a seminary class he was taking! The interview was based on how I lived my life according to the “spiritual disciplines.”
Habits Of Devotion
If that’s a new term to you, suffice it to say that “spiritual disciplines” are practices found, in Scripture, that can promote spiritual growth. They are “habits” of devotion, like prayer, fasting, public & private worship, meditation & making disciples— all activities that we’re commanded to do, right? Jesus practiced them! But, I prefaced my answer, in the interview, with this caution: “We are NOT GODLY just because we practice certain spiritual disciplines!” That was the great error of the Pharisees! They believed they were godly BECAUSE they did certain things! You can’t separate what you’re DOING on the OUTSIDE by who you ARE on the INSIDE! What you do matters! But, WHO you are matters even more! Here’s the point— spiritual growth happens as you become more like Jesus; and, less like you!
Become Like Your Teacher
It is our goal, as a local church, that our community of believers would become mature disciples of Christ in their personal spiritual development. That’s a core value! That we’d all grow in spiritual maturity! As disciples of Christ, that we’d all become more like Him! That’s what a disciple does! He becomes like his Teacher! And, we believe that individual spiritual development occurs BEST in the context of a local church! Faith grows best where it is challenged, not isolated! And, crucial to that is the realization that being a disciple of Christ does not begin with something we DO; but, with something that Christ already DID! He redeemed our broken relationship with the Father by His death on the cross! He took my sin! And, He paid the penalty that I should have paid so that I might receive forgiveness! That’s the Gospel! And we never graduate from the Gospel! We will always need a Savior! I have been a believer for 53 years, and I still need a Savior! Not until we have our resurrected, glorified, spiritual bodies will we be complete in Jesus!
Daniel & The Invisible God
(Note: This concludes our series of posts on the life of the Prophet Daniel)
An Urgent Plea Not To Give Up
As I bring this series of posts— on Daniel’s life— to an end, I conclude with an urgent plea not to give up because you don’t get an answer to your prayers according to your timeline! Instead of quitting, follow Daniel’s example and devote more time to more prayer & fasting! Daniel shows us that because we pray in the spirit, we can’t see with our physical eyes, the spiritual responses our prayers stir up! If we could see into the spiritual realm, our prayer effort would reveal invisible forces of good & evil opposing one another. Unseen spiritual forces are behind every movement!
The Battle In The Spirit World
Daniel couldn’t tell, just by observing the Persian Gov’t, that there was a war going on between an “angel of God” & a demonic “prince of Persia” (see Daniel chapter 10). But, if he could have pulled back the curtain that divides our realm from the spiritual realm, he would have observed the battle going on in the spirit world. We can only assume, from this text of Scripture, that Satan has “territorial” demons in places of influence, among government leaders, in every nation. That’s why the Apostle Paul later wrote Timothy in the New Testament; and told him to pray for kings & all those in places of authority.
Not With Flesh & Blood
The REAL ENEMY is not the people we may oppose politically! Our battle, according to Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, is not with flesh & blood. We need God’s help to see the truth about this! We need to pray for our leaders to be saved! Knowing that our warfare is spiritual in nature, it is our prayers, humility, knowledge of God & perseverance that serve as our best weapons against the spiritual forces of evil in this world; and the unseen spiritual world behind the curtain that separates us. So, be inspired & encouraged! Daniel prayed! He humbled himself before God; and, he purposed to know God & to understand His ways!
He Prayed & Fasted & Waited
And, he persevered! For 21 days, the text says, he prayed & fasted & waited on God to fulfill His Sovereign purpose in His Sovereign time frame! Will you wait on God also? Will you trust His eternal wisdom over every life situation? Will you trust His timing; that God is never early, nor is He ever late! He who “knows the end from the beginning” has perfect timing in the way He answers every one of our prayers! Will you trust Him if His answer to your prayer is “no”? Will you trust the Word of God that tells us that His ways are higher than ours? If He answers “no” it’s for the best!
Focus On The Unseen
A Biblical response, to the war going on in the spiritual realm & to life’s problems that result, is to focus NOT on the seen; but, on the unseen! What you see going on in this world will mess with you! It will frustrate you! It will, at times, cause you to question God! It’ll even depress you because it will APPEAR that we’re losing! So, focus on the UNSEEN, not the SEEN! Focus on the invisible God, who is Sovereign, who is Omnipotent; and, who is All-Knowing! He has an unbeatable plan; and, He will get it done! Don’t focus on the political climate of our country; or, the rest of the world! That’s the SEEN! Focus on the UNSEEN God! Pray to Him! He’s the only One who can bring revival & clean up the mess humanity has made of this world! Are you struggling in this area of your life? Make it a matter of prayer! Turn it over to God!
Vertically Focused In A Horizontal World 