Tag Archives: Humility

Serve One Another

Posted on by
Reply

Jesus, The Example

“For I have given you an example,” Jesus told His disciples after washing their feet, “that you should do as I have done to you. Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master…” John 13:15–17. The example He set before them was NOT the washing of their feet! In some circles where the washing of feet is practiced, individuals can actually take “pride” in the “humility” they display as they wash each other’s feet. No, the example Jesus sets is true humility in serving others! It is humble deference to others and serving them in every life situation!

Jesus, The Master

“I am your Master,” Jesus says, “and I’ve given you an example to serve in the SAME WAY you’ve seen Me serve!” That’s the identity that Jesus gives us! That’s who we are! We are servants, just like Jesus, our Master! We’re called Christians, and that literally means “little Christs.” Acts 11 says the believers were first called “little Christs” at Antioch. They so resembled the humble, servant Christ that unbelievers said they acted just like Him—like a “little Christ.” We will never serve like Jesus served until we grasp that! To use Jesus’ words, our purpose and calling is to “…do as I have done to you…” He calls us to be servants to all, just like Jesus!

Jesus, The Lover

But we will never serve like Jesus served until we love like Jesus loved! In the first verse of John 13, it says of Jesus, “…having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end.” The key to understanding that verse, and the kind of love Jesus had, is found in that phrase, “…He loved them to the end.” It means “to the uttermost” or with “total fullness.” He loved them “utterly,” with “total fullness,” even though He knew that His hour to endure the cross was near! Though He knew of His approaching death to pay for the sin of the world, all the way to the cross He is preoccupied with His love for them! His kind of love drove Him to serve, to minister! And we will not serve like Jesus until we learn to love like He loved! It’s quite simple, really! We don’t serve because our preoccupation is with other things! We’re preoccupied with building our own little kingdoms rather than His kingdom! We don’t serve because it’s not on our agenda!

Will They Know You’re His Disciple?

We’re not in love with the same things Jesus was in love with! Later, in the same chapter, John records these words of Jesus: “By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” John 13:35. The world will know that we are Christians (“little Christs”) by our love, and our love will be evidenced by a life of service to others! Loveless people are too preoccupied with their own “self-importance” to do common ministry—like washing someone’s feet! Not Jesus! He is fully aware of His identity! He is the “King of kings and Lord of lords.” He is God incarnate! And He’s washing the feet of disciples who were too proud to serve each other! That is true love’s character! And the nearer we are to Jesus, the closer we’ll get to other people—and we’ll serve them like Jesus did!

Measuring Greatness

Posted on by
Reply

Jesus Washing Feet

Most of us are familiar with Jesus’ act of washing His disciples’ feet. The Apostle John includes the story in chapter 13 of his Gospel account. It was common for Jewish homes during this time period to keep large vessels of water near the front door for every visitor to wash their feet. It was typical for a slave to wash the feet of guests. But when the disciples get to the upper room, there is no servant prepared to wash their feet, and no one volunteers to do it! The bowl of water was there! The towel was there! Everything needed to serve was there! But no one was willing!

What Serving Looks Like

The text seems clear that they were in the middle of their meal when Jesus rose from the table to show them what it looks like to serve. In an overwhelming act of humility, John says that Jesus “…rose from supper and laid aside His garments, took a towel and girded Himself. After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded” (John 13:4–5). Make sure you get the picture! This was God, who had already humbled Himself simply by becoming a man. Now God stands up and walks to the front door! God takes the pitcher of water, pours it into the basin, puts a towel around His waist, and prepares to wash the dirty feet of His disciples!

How To Measure Greatness

Here’s the lesson Jesus was teaching them: Greatness is measured by the “quantity” and “quality” of your service to others. Serving others is what makes you great in God’s economy and kingdom. Both the quantity and the quality of your service are how Jesus measures it. So, let’s get practical and ask what that kind of service to others looks like. There are several observations we can make from this text of Scripture. First, we will serve like Jesus served when we come to understand our identity. In verse 1, John wrote, “…Jesus knew that His hour had come that He should depart from this world to the Father…” In other words, Jesus knew who He was. He knew why He came. He knew what was before Him—the cross. The hour of His humiliation was upon Him. He had the confident resolve of “God in the flesh.” That was His identity in this world. In Mark’s Gospel, it is written: “For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45).

Jesus Emptied Himself

The Apostle Paul wrote of Jesus: “He emptied Himself by assuming the form of a servant. He humbled Himself…” (Philippians 2:7–8). We cannot overemphasize the fact that this was God who humbled Himself and became a servant to His creation. But we typically want to reverse the order. While we ought to take on the role of a servant, we want to rule like God. Yet here it is—God became a servant. We are suffering from an identity crisis, and that is why we are not serving as we ought. Jesus’ disciples suffered from an identity crisis, and that is why they were not serving each other. After washing their feet, Jesus said: “For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you…” (John 13:15–16).
 

Called To Serve

Posted on by
Reply

Leaving For Vacation; Next Post March 18th

A Day Away From Crucifixion

Jesus began His ministry quite impressively. The Gospel accounts reveal that He burst onto the scene. He attracted huge crowds because He spoke differently than anyone had ever spoken before—especially Israel’s priests and other religious leaders. When we get to chapter 13 in John’s Gospel account, Jesus is only a day away from His crucifixion. By now, the crowds have abandoned Him, in part because He began preaching a message of sacrifice and service.

Take Up Your Cross

He told them they needed to crucify “self” and take up their cross daily if they wanted to be His followers. He preached an upside-down kingdom where those who led must serve and where the way to be first was to be last. He turned the world’s leadership style on its head. This is what His church would look like. Many of His original followers wanted nothing more to do with Him. They had followed for selfish reasons, but Christ’s kingdom would be a selfless one. So Jesus is left with twelve followers—and one of them, Judas Iscariot, would betray Him. They met back in Jerusalem in an upper room to celebrate the Passover together.

Jesus Washers His Disciples Feet

John writes: “Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that His hour had come to depart out of this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end. During supper, when the devil had already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, to betray Him, Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was going back to God, rose from supper. He laid aside His outer garments, and taking a towel, tied it around His waist.” (John 13:1–4) Their feet were dirty from their journey. It was common for most travelers to walk. A horse or burro was an expensive luxury for most people. “Roads” were little more than dirt paths. They had no sidewalks or bike paths as we are accustomed to today. Depending on the weather, you either walked through inch-thick dust or through liquid mud caused by rain. It was impossible for sandals to keep the dirt out. Most Jewish homes kept large vessels of water near the front door for every visitor to wash their feet. It was typical in this time period for a slave to wash a visitor’s feet.  

Jesus Served Like A Slave

But when the disciples arrived at the upper room, there was no slave. No servant was prepared to wash their feet, and no one volunteered. In fact, this was the same group that Luke tells us (chapter 22) had been arguing over who was the greatest among them—who would sit at Jesus’ right hand and left hand when He set up His kingdom. So with that going on, what were the chances that any of them would humble themselves and wash the feet of the other disciples? The bowl of water was there. The towel was there. Everything needed to serve was there. But no one was willing. The text seems clear that they were in the middle of their meal when Jesus rose from the table (v. 5) to show them what it truly means to serve.

Jesus In The Flesh

Posted on by
Reply

Do We Look Like Him?

In a conversation one of our church family members had with someone who was struggling to understand and accept the Gospel, she said to them, “I just need to see Jesus in the flesh!” She meant by that that she needed to see what it looked like for someone claiming to be a follower of Jesus to actually live it. That’s a powerful statement! And the Gospel of Christ actually frees us to be “Jesus in the flesh” to everyone we encounter.

It’s A Radical Transformation

When we truly humble ourselves before God and submit to Him, Jesus moves into our lives—by the power of His Holy Spirit—and radically begins to transform us in every way, including our relationships. We can actually become Jesus to everyone we meet. Let me explain. When humanity, in Adam, sinned, it was a complete breakdown of our ability to image God. We were broken! Because of our fallen nature, we are born into this world with an inability to love like God loves. So we hate others. We lash out. We become self-absorbed. We use people for what they can do for us. That’s our default condition at birth.

Everything Changes In Jesus

But when the Gospel of Christ is introduced to us and accepted, everything changes. Just read Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John’s accounts of Jesus’ life and marvel at the way He loves—even His enemies! And we are transformed into His image as we dwell in His presence through the written Word. The Apostle Paul described it like this when he wrote to the church of Corinth: “We all, with unveiled faces, are looking as in a mirror at the glory of the Lord and are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory; this is from the Lord who is the Spirit” (2 Cor. 3:18). By the power of the Gospel, we see God’s glory—in Jesus—and we are transformed into that same image from one glory to another.

Re-Imaged Into Jesus

We are being “re-imaged” into Jesus! We need to hear this. Far too often, the interpersonal relationships within the body look no different than the relationships among unbelievers. And I submit to you that this plays a huge part in the overall ineffectiveness of the Western church when it comes to making disciples and attracting people to the church. So how do we change this? How can this trend be reversed?

Jesus’ New Command

Jesus told His disciples, “I give you a new command: Love one another. Just as I have loved you, you must also love one another. By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:34–35). As He transforms us to love others in the same way He loves us, the world will know we belong to Jesus! They’ll know we love Jesus because we love them! Here’s what I believe God wants us to do about this: He wants us to repent over our broken relationships. To repent literally means “to change your mind.” So God wants us to change our minds about our broken relationships. We used to think they were okay, but they’re not okay. We need Him to fix them so the world can see Jesus in us.
 

Don’t Eat Each Other

Posted on by
Reply

Leaving For Vacation; Next Post February 4th

Not All Cannibals Are Alike

Did you know that not all cannibals are alike? An “exo-cannibal” eats only those outside his immediate social circle (i.e., his “enemies”), while an “endo-cannibal” eats those within his immediate social circle (i.e., his “friends”). But a “pan-cannibal” is indiscriminate and will eat anyone! Bet you didn’t know that! You probably thought that all cannibals were alike! Let me share a true story with you. The world’s most infamous cannibal was the legendary Fijian chieftain, Ratu Udre Udre.

A Guinness World Record

Listen to this—he actually holds the Guinness World Record for eating the most people! I was personally surprised to discover that Guinness actually kept such a record! Ratu Udre Udre ate between 872 and 999 people, according to his son—whom he did not eat! (Guess that made him a “good father.”) Ratu Udre Udre kept a stone for each body he ate. Now, unfortunately, many Christians have more in common with Udre Udre than you might think because many Christians “eat” their own. You might say they’re “church cannibals,” and Paul’s letter to the church of Galatia bears that out. His fifth chapter begins like this: “Christ has liberated us to be free. Stand firm, then, and don’t submit again to a yoke of slavery” (Galatians 5:1). That’s the “good news” of the Gospel! We’re born into this world with a yoke of slavery around our necks, and we can try with all our might to get out from under our sin; but we’re incapable. Jesus liberates us by His atonement for sin on the cross. He liberates us from the penalty and power of sin over our lives.

Don’t Devour One Another

So “stand firm,” Paul says, “don’t submit to that old yoke of slavery again!” Continuing in that context, he speaks to the Gospel’s power to affect our relationships with people. We’re no longer enslaved to the world’s way of “devouring” one another—or hating one another and holding grudges. That’s what Paul says a little later in the same chapter: “For you were called to be free, brothers; only don’t use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but serve one another through love. For the entire law is fulfilled in one statement: Love your neighbor as yourself. But if you bite and devour one another, watch out, or you will be consumed by one another” (Gal. 5:13–15).

Are You Drinking Poison?

Someone has accurately stated that “unforgiveness is the poison you drink, hoping it will kill someone else!” In this Scripture, Paul is reminding this local church that the Gospel sets us free from those kinds of toxic relationships. The Gospel of Christ frees us to be Jesus to everyone we meet! When we truly humble ourselves before God and submit to Him, Jesus moves us—by the power of His Holy Spirit—and radically begins to transform us in every way, including our relationships. When humanity sinned in Adam, it resulted in a complete breakdown of our ability to “image” God, the Father and our Creator. We’re broken! We’re all born into this world with an inability to love like God loves because of our inherited fallen nature. Only a conversion to Christ can change us! We’ll pick it up there at our next post!
 

What Jesus Calls Great

Posted on by
Reply

Wouldn’t You Like To Know?

Have you ever given thought to what it would have been like to be one of Jesus’ disciples and just walk through life with Him? To literally walk through life with Jesus—because that was the most common method of transportation in that day! And to hear Him speak God’s wisdom into every situation they encountered! Mark, who wrote the Gospel of Mark, tells us about a time when Jesus and His disciples were on the road, going up to Jerusalem. Jesus gets real serious with them and begins to tell them that the chief priests and the religious leaders would condemn Him to death—that He would be mocked, spit on, flogged, and killed! And it was weird—like they didn’t even hear what He was saying—but two of the disciples, James and John, who were brothers, approached Jesus immediately after He dropped that “bomb” on them and asked if they could sit on each side of His throne in glory!

Great, to Jesus, is Service

That really ticked off the other ten disciples! Mark records it like this: “Jesus called them over and said to them, ‘You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles dominate them, and their men of high positions exercise power over them. But it must not be like that among you. On the contrary, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be a slave to all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life—a ransom for many.’” Mark 10:42–45. In so many words, Jesus was teaching them that if you’re great in God’s Kingdom, this world probably won’t even notice you!

Jesus’ Leadership Model

What Jesus calls “great” and what the world says is “great” are generally two entirely different things. Jesus calls you great when you reject the world’s leadership style (v. 42). Those who lead in this world dominate or lord it over anyone in a “subordinate” role, Jesus says. Having a position of power is of great significance—but that’s not the case in Jesus’ Kingdom! If we follow Jesus’ leadership model, we have to reject the world’s style of leadership. Instead, Jesus calls you great when your ministry is measured by the people you serve (v. 43). “…it must not be like the world’s leadership style…” among believers, He says!

Do You Want A Title

In the ministry of the church, Jesus says it’s not about having a “title.” Do you want a title? If you’re an elder, you serve! If you’re a deacon, you serve! If you’re a Sunday School teacher, a small group leader, an AWANA or nursery worker, you serve! If you’re a worship team member—it’s not a show! Jesus doesn’t care about your title. He cares about your service! You want to be great? You want a title? Take the title of “servant,” Jesus says! And then Jesus calls you great when you humble yourself and become the world’s slave (v. 44). Some versions render the word “servant,” but that’s not right! The word is doulos in the original Greek language, and the only correct way to translate it is “slave.” Jesus meant for us to take on the humility of a slave when it comes to our ministry and service to others!
 

Give Up Your Life

Posted on by
Reply

Great In God’s Kingdom

In my last post, we talked about the kind of life that Jesus called great! We picked up on His conversation with the disciples after two of them—James and John—asked if they could sit in seats of power next to Jesus in His kingdom. “Jesus called them over and said to them, ‘You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles dominate them, and their men of high positions exercise power over them. But it must not be like that among you. On the contrary, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be a slave to all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many’” (Mark 10:42–45). In so many words, Jesus was teaching them that if you’re great in God’s kingdom, this world probably won’t even notice you!

Slave or Servant?

Jesus calls you great when you reject the world’s leadership style (v. 42). He also calls you great when your ministry is measured by the people you serve (v. 43). But there are two more points I’d like to draw out from this text related to what Jesus calls great. He also calls you great when you humble yourself and become the world’s slave (v. 44). We touched briefly on this point in our last post. The word is doulos in the original Greek language, and it can only be translated accurately as “slave” in English. So while the Holman version actually translates it “slave,” many translations choose to use the word “servant.” While they can be credited with sensitivity for choosing to translate the word as “servant” because the history of slavery in America is so repulsive and offensive, we probably ought not to change the word Jesus used.

The Humility of a Slave

He meant for us to take on the humility of a “slave” when it comes to our ministry and service. In this way, we actually serve like Jesus did: “Make your own attitude that of Christ Jesus,” the Apostle Paul wrote, “who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God as something to be used for His own advantage. Instead, He emptied Himself by assuming the form of a slave” (Philippians 2:5–11). In other words, Jesus didn’t use His title—God—as a big stick! In His incarnation, He took the form of a slave!

Suffering For Others

Finally, from Jesus’ words here, we discern that He calls you great when you give up your life to suffer for others (v. 45). Even Jesus suffered for others willingly, all the way to the cross! He served till it hurt—till it killed Him! And you image Jesus when you live your life similarly! That’s probably not going to get you a fancy title or the corner office in a big corporation, but it will get you a “Well done, good and faithful servant” from Jesus! You may have noticed that the focus in this post was not on spiritual gifts. The reason is that the greater emphasis in Scripture is on heart attitude toward ministry rather than giftedness or knowledge. Jesus emphasizes humility over giftedness, and power is never said to be in our gifts but in the Holy Spirit. So, how will you respond to the needs around you?

How Pain Brings Us To Our Knees

Posted on by
Reply

Does God Really Love Us?

We are tempted to ask how it is that God could truly love us if He allows us to suffer through painful experiences. In fact, it is because He loves us that He choreographs pain and suffering into our lives. Let me explain. It is not our natural tendency to seek closer fellowship with God when our lives are filled with blessings attached to this world. No — it is our tendency to stray from God when life is good! We become more comfortable leaning on this world’s blessings for our daily support. So God — in His love and sovereign grace — places a “wake-up call,” in the form of a painful experience, in front of us. He shakes us back to reality with something that refocuses our attention on Him, forcing us to our knees in prayer.

Our Greatest Satisfaction

He does this because He knows that nothing will ever offer us greater satisfaction than a Spirit-filled relationship with Him. All of this world’s goods and services are but cheap substitutes for a walk with God. If you follow the narrative from the first chapter in the book of Acts, you’ll see 120 disciples waiting in an upper room in Jerusalem for the promised Holy Spirit. Then, in chapter 2, the Spirit comes to indwell and fill the believers so they would have the supernatural power of the Spirit to obey Jesus’ commission to take the gospel to every people group and disciple them. Immediately, God begins to use them in His supernatural work as 3,000 were saved and became disciples that day — and then more and more were added!

Comfortable and Complacent

But as you read the next few chapters, it seems the church becomes complacent and comfortable with their success, and God’s work begins to slow down. So God, in His sovereignty, brought persecution. Stephen is stoned. Then James is killed, and Peter is imprisoned. It’s this crisis of faith that unsettled them, and they returned to their knees in prayer. They were humbled. They got back to biblical prayer. They expressed their helplessness and total dependence on God’s power to see Peter released from prison: “So Peter was kept in prison, but prayer was being made earnestly to God for him by the church.” — Acts 12:5. In the verses that follow, God sends an angel to spring Peter from prison (vv. 6–11).

The Lost Confronted By Answered Prayer

There’s another prayer principle that God reveals to us through His answered prayer to release Peter from incarceration: God will use a mighty display of His power to confront the lost with their sin. King Herod had imprisoned Peter and assumed he had more power than he actually had. But God says, “No, Herod — your plans to kill Peter won’t work!” Someone once said, “We make our plans, and God laughs.” I love that! Don’t lose heart, church. It may appear the world is out of control, but God hasn’t lost it. In His sovereign timing, He will display His power again and confront the lost with their need for repentance. So let’s get the bigger picture when we find ourselves in a painful place. Don’t pray that God will take it away — He may be doing a special work in your life or in the life of someone watching. Trust His plans!
 

Praying About Temptations

Posted on by
Reply

How Did Jesus Teach Us To Pray?

Let me challenge you to take a good, long look at your prayers! Are your prayers consumed with requests? Little more than sending God a grocery list of items you want Him to do for you! If so, you need to spend some time meditating on Jesus’ response to His disciples when they approached Him: “Lord, teach us to pray!” (Matthew 6:5-13) They found a deficiency in their prayer life; so, they sought Jesus’ counsel to improve it! One of the last things He teaches them to pray about is “temptation”— “And do not bring us into temptation.”

A Warning About Being In The World

Up until this point, in Jesus’ counsel about prayer, His focus had been on praying over our relationships with God and the people around us. Now, He teaches us to pray about going out into the world, where He’s called us to make disciples; but, there’s a bit of a warning! We need to pray— “Lord, as we go into the world to advance Your kingdom, we need Your strength to help us be IN the world and not OF it!” We will face some spiritual warfare as we advance against Satan’s kingdom! There is an evil one who wants to take us down! We need to pray for the Spirit’s strength to withstand him; so, we pray for the Father’s guidance.

A Prime Motivation For Prayer

Overcoming sin and evil should be a prime motivation in our prayers! Are your prayers motivated by a desire to walk deliberately with your God? To love Him with a desire to keep His commandments? Test yourself! Are your prayers centered on the STUFF you want, or on Holy Spirit help to beat sin? Finally, Jesus adds these words, in His counsel to His disciples, about prayer: “…deliver us from the evil one…” (v.13) Earlier, in His ministry, Jesus had taught them that “…the evil one comes only to steal and to kill…” (John 10:10). He wants to steal your joy in the Lord and your love for God and others! He wants to kill your effectiveness as a disciple! And we don’t have the strength in ourselves to stand against him! We’re no match for Satan. So, Jesus is teaching us— as His disciples— to humble ourselves by praying for the Father’s protection from evil! To pray that He would deliver us from Satan! And, from falling back into sin! To stand firm and finish strong despite persecution, if we should face that kind of resistance.

Don’t Try To Counsel God

As I bring this series of posts on Jesus’ “model” prayer to a close, let me remind you never to pray like you’re trying to be God’s counselor! Never pray like you’re trying to convince God that YOU know the best way to run His kingdom! Clearly, Jesus leaves no room in His counsel on prayer for us to make prayer about what we think God should do. He’s far too wise! We’re far too ignorant of the details of His work in the world. He is an omniscient God—in other words, He knows EVERYTHING! That means He’s already considered anything you might try to convince Him to do! He may answer in the affirmative! Or, He may answer negatively! And if He does, it’s because He knows the “end from the beginning” and has the best reasons to make the wisest decision! Let us learn to pray with humility, trusting God’s answers always!
 

Complementary Love & Submission

Posted on by
Reply

Taking A Vacation: Next Post August 20

It’s Not About Equality

In our culture, we tend to equate any kind of “submission” to another person as a sign of “inequality.” That’s unfortunate because it simply isn’t true! All of us submit to our boss at work—not because of inequality, but because of order! God designed order into every area of His world, including the home. Jesus Himself submitted to that order in the home: “And He (Jesus) went down with them (His parents) and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them” (Luke 2:51). I certainly hope that doesn’t mean Jesus, the second member of the Triune Godhead, was somehow beneath His human parents!

Jesus Submitted To The Father

And what of Jesus’ submission to the Father within the Triune Godhead? He is just as much “God” as the Father and the Spirit. But He voluntarily gave in to the Father’s lead: “Make your own attitude that of Christ Jesus, who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God as something to be used for His own advantage. Instead, He emptied Himself by assuming the form of a slave, taking on the likeness of men. And when He had come as a man in His external form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death—even to death on a cross” (Philippians 2:5–8). Did you see that? He was equal with God the Father, but He didn’t use that to His own advantage! Rather, He humbled Himself and voluntarily became obedient to the Father.

Wives Looking Like Jesus

Wives—nothing you do within the structure of your home makes you look more like Jesus than when you voluntarily give up control to your husband—not because you’re incapable! In fact, I’ve counseled many marriages in which the wife was clearly the more capable leader. But when she gave that up voluntarily, it changed the entire dynamics of their home. By doing so, she empowered her husband to lead and love, and she “imaged” Jesus for her children. Ladies, that’s how you complement your husband according to God’s design for the home. And men, you complement your wife’s voluntary submission by your love for her: “Husbands, love your wives…” (Colossians 3:19).

A Voluntary, Sacrificial Love

The context of this Colossians 3 passage shows that the wife’s submission is prompted by a husband who shows her unselfish love. In no way does the Scripture imply that the husband is to demand submission from his wife! It’s impossible to draw that meaning from this text. The relationships are understood to be reciprocal. He gains the voluntary submission of his wife as he loves her, and she enjoys more of his love as she voluntarily submits to him. That word translated “love” is agape in the original language, and it’s interesting that agape love is a voluntary, sacrificial kind of love. Her submission is to be voluntary, and his love is to be given voluntarily. It’s not governed by feelings—it’s a love that looks out for her best interests, regardless! A love that refuses to turn “bitter,” as Paul points out in the rest of verse 19.