Monthly Archives: June 2025

Designed To Complement

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Taking A Vacation: Next Post July 2nd

Is Gender Inequality Real?

Gender inequality is receiving a lot of attention these days. I’m referring to the claim that there is unequal treatment of individuals based on their gender. Some of this mistreatment is “perceived,” but much of it is very real! Some claim there is a gender pay gap, and in many cases, the facts support that claim. There’s also a resulting link to career advancement—that one’s gender impedes their progress up the company ladder.

There’s Perspective With Age

I’ve mentioned before—about growing older—that one of the few advantages I have over those younger than me is that I have a perspective they can’t possibly have. I have a kind of panoramic view of time, having grown up in the 1960s. More than just a historical perspective, I lived it! I remember when Bobby Riggs challenged Billie Jean King to a tennis match that became known as the “Battle of the Sexes.” It received international attention, and when King won, it became a kind of rallying cry for what has become the women’s movement.

Gender Resentment’s Not Cool

Now, let me be clear about something: I admit that from the beginning of time, men in general have been guilty of inflicting much harm and gender inequality against women—and I applaud many of the changes that have been made to correct that! At the same time—here is my “old man” perspective—I have noted in my lifetime a deep, pervasive gender resentment that has bubbled up and boiled over in our day. We’re at this zero-sum competition. As a society, we’re not looking for the win-win. There’s a lack of togetherness and teamwork between the sexes. It’s become “us against them,” and the only way one gender wins is if the opposite gender loses. It’s “either-or” when it ought to be “both-and.” Either men rule the world, or women do. The sexes are more divided than ever, and the sexual orientation and “sexual identity” issues are the natural fallout of this fighting between the genders. The world is lost and confused and needs to be rescued. The Church can help bring sanity to the struggle by embracing the counsel of God’s Word and living it out in our homes and in the public square. And let me add that we bring that discussion with love, patience, and gentleness!

The Way God Designed Us

God’s design for the man and the woman promotes beauty and harmony in the relationship between the sexes! God’s design for men and women is absolute equality in status, but a difference in roles. All the cultural debate over homosexuality, transgenderism, pornography, public policy concerning women being drafted for combat, church debates over women pastors, and marital conflicts over “who’s in charge” in the home—all of it is addressed directly or by implication in God’s Word. When determining our roles as men and women, God and His Word must shape our opinions, not the culture. To do otherwise is deadly! The culture is broken and doesn’t have the answers. It all begins with Genesis in my next post!

Living In A Sexually Immoral Culture

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Where To Find The Best Council

The seventh chapter of the Apostle Paul’s letter to the church in Corinth contains some of the best counsel available on sex and marriage. Though he opens with an endorsement of celibacy, he quickly adds, “…because sexual immorality is so common, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband” (1 Corinthians 7:2). In a sexually charged culture like Corinth, marriage is God’s gift to most believers. Why? Because it is the only form of sexual activity that God ordains!

An Undefiled Marriage Bed

The author of Hebrews puts it this way: “Marriage must be respected by all, and the marriage bed kept undefiled, because God will judge immoral people and adulterers” (Hebrews 13:4). The phrase “marriage bed” was an idiom synonymous with sex. So, respect it, because God will judge the immoral or adulterous person who plays the part of a married person sexually! But they’re not married—they’re just playing house. In a culture where sexual immorality is so prevalent—like it was in Corinth and like it is in our own country—God’s answer is simple: Get married! In the ninth verse of Paul’s Corinthian letter, the Holy Spirit prompts him to write, “…if they do not have self-control (to remain celibate), they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with desire.”

Marriage: A Deterrent To Immorality

Marriage is a helpful deterrent to sexual immorality. That might not seem like the best motive for getting married, but Paul and the Spirit of God are simply being practical—it is better than immorality! At the same time, Paul qualifies the gift of marriage with some stipulations. Marriage does not guarantee freedom from sexual immorality; rather, marriage partners have a sexual responsibility to one another. Do not misunderstand Paul’s message here—marriage deters a life of sexual immorality, but only if the husband and wife fulfill their sexual responsibilities to each other. “A husband should fulfill his marital responsibility to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband. A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does. Do not deprive one another sexually” (1 Corinthians 7:3-5).

Being Sexually Responsible

There’s a lot packed into these three verses. Paul is preaching monogamy. He’s emphasizing a heterosexual relationship. And he’s teaching that a husband and wife have a sexual responsibility to fulfill with each other. Some translations even refer to it as a “debt” or an “obligation.” Again, that may not sound romantic, but this is serious teaching from Paul. You can’t state it much stronger than he does in verse 5— “Don’t deprive one another sexually…” Some translations render it, “Don’t defraud one another…” The husband’s body does not belong to him alone, and the wife’s body does not belong to her alone. When sex is used as a weapon to punish perceived wrongdoing by a spouse, it defrauds them and places them in a vulnerable position to fall into sexual sin, Paul warns. Don’t do it!
 

When Good Sex Goes Bad

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When It Happens Outside Of Marriage

According to God—who, by the way, created sex—healthy sex only happens within a marriage between a man and a woman. The Word of God warns us about the consequences of sexual conduct outside the safety of marriage. All other sexual activities are spiritually unhealthy because they involve disobedience to God and His Word. Additionally, they can also lead to physical and emotional harm. The effects often create a ripple effect, negatively impacting families and future generations.

Messing Up People’s Lives

When your sex life doesn’t align with Scripture, it can impact not just you but many others as well. Here’s something to consider, especially if you feel like you’ve already made too many mistakes—that you’re beyond hope. Maybe you grew up in a worldly environment and were never taught these biblical truths. Or perhaps you heard them but believed you were clever enough to outsmart ‘the system,’ so you experimented with sex and are now facing the consequences. The good news is that, thanks to Jesus’ work on the cross, you are not beyond redemption! 

Good News For Those Who Messed Up

The Gospel is good news for every sinner, regardless of the sin! We serve a God who brings beauty from ashes. Through the cross, there is forgiveness and restoration. So, don’t hide behind your sin any longer—confess it so you may be healed (James 5:16). From this day forward, stand firmly on the foundation of God’s Word when it comes to your sexual purity. God’s Word alone provides the flawless counsel needed to build healthy marriages. In 1 Corinthians, the Apostle Paul shares several truths about sexuality as directed by God: “It is good for a man not to have relations with a woman. But because sexual immorality is so common, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband… I say the following as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all people were just like me. But each has his own gift from God—one person in this way and another in that way. I say to the unmarried and to widows: It is good for them if they remain as I am.” (1 Corinthians 7:1, 6-8)

Is Celibacy A Gift?

What Paul is advocating here is celibacy. He appears to suggest that celibacy is a gift from God given to certain individuals. So, if the idea of living a celibate life seems impossible for you, it likely means that you do not have that particular gift. I intentionally use the word celibacy instead of singleness because celibacy more accurately describes what Paul is referring to—complete abstinence from all sexual relations. In contrast, our modern culture tends to favor the term singleness, often associating it with a lack of relational or sexual boundaries. It’s seen as a lifestyle of ‘Sex and the City’ or ‘friends with benefits,’ making it a poor reflection of what Paul is actually addressing. When Paul says, ‘It is good for a man not to have relations with a woman‘ (v.1), he is using it as a euphemism for sexual intercourse—which is confirmed by the context of verse 2. Therefore, celibacy is not only a legitimate option but a good and honorable gift from God.