When Good Sex Goes Bad!

-When It Happens Outside Marriage!

According to God—who, by the way, CREATED sex—healthy sex only happens in a marriage between a man & a woman! The Word of God warns us against the ramifications of sexual conduct outside the safety of marriage between a man and a woman! All other sexual activities are spiritually unhealthy because it’s disobedience to God and His Word. But, it can also prove to be physically and emotionally unhealthy! And, the effects tend to have a trickle down effect. It can negatively impact your family & your children downline.

-Messing Up People’s Lives!

When your sex life doesn’t comply with Scripture, you can mess up a lot of people’s lives! One more consideration for those of you who think you’ve already messed up too badly! That you’re hopeless! Maybe you grew up in a worldly environment & were never even taught these Biblical truths. Or, maybe you grew up hearing them; but, you thought you were smart enough to beat “the system”; so, you played around with sex & you’re paying the price for it now! Well, thanks to Jesus’ work on the cross, you’re not beyond repair!

-Good News For Those Who Messed Up!

The Gospel is good news to every sinner, regardless the sin! We have a God who makes beauty from ashes! There is forgiveness & restoration through the cross! So, don’t hide behind your sin any longer! Confess it so you can be healed (James 5:16). And, from this day forward, plant your feet on the firm foundation of God’s Word, when it comes to your sex life! God’s Word alone provides us the only flawless counsel for building healthy marriages. In the book of 1 Corinthians, the Apostle Paul shares several points, about sexuality, as God directs us:  “It is good for a man not to have relations with a woman. But because sexual immorality is so common, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband….I say the following as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all people were just like me. But each has his own gift from God, one person in this way and another in that way. I say to the unmarried and to widows: It is good for them if they remain as I am” 1 Corinthians 7:1, 6-8.

-Is Celibacy A Gift?

What Paul is encouraging here is “celibacy.” He seems to indicate that “celibacy” is God’s gift for some individuals! So, if you can’t imagine being celibate, that probably means that you don’t have that gift! I purposely used the word celibacy, instead of “singleness”—because celibacy more accurately defines what Paul is describing here—celibacy is abstaining from ALL sexual relations! Whereas, in our culture, “singleness” is often preferred because there are no sexual attachments or boundaries—it’s “Sex In The City!” It’s friends with “benefits.” So, being “single” doesn’t necessarily express what Paul is thinking! When he says, “It is good for a man not to have relations with a woman” (v.1) he’s using it as a euphemism for “sexual intercourse”; and, the context of v.2 bears that out. So, celibacy can be a good & honorable gift from God!

 

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What Sexual Health Looks Like!

-It’s Not What You Think!

Unfortunately, marriage & parenting are the butt of a lot of jokes in our society. We sing a lot of sad songs about lost love; and, it seems that’s one way we manage the pain.  Like the story of a woman whose husband lay in bed dying, going in and out of a coma. One day he briefly awoke & reached out to his wife to draw her close.  As she sat next to him, he began to whisper some of his remembrances to her:  “Honey, you’ve been right there beside me through all the rough times.  You were there when I got fired. You were there when my business failed.  You were there when we lost the house.  And, you’ve been right here—the whole time—by my side even as my health failed & I lay dying.” He paused briefly & asked, “You know what?” “What, dearest?” She asked as she wiped a tear from her eye.  “I think you’re bad luck” he said; and, then slipped back into a coma!

-Flawless Marriage Counseling!

I’m pretty confident that everyone enters into marriage longing for a partnership that remains strong & healthy! I hope that it doesn’t surprise you when I say that God’s Word provides us with the ONLY flawless counsel for building those healthy marriages; and, for training up godly children! If you’re a relatively new follower of Jesus, you may be surprised to find out how much the Bible has to say about marriage & sex & family! But, think about it! It was God who created marriage! And, it was God who created sex! He created the family, too! So, it really only makes sense that we would go to the SOURCE for wisdom & counsel in these areas!

-A Foundational Bible Text!

A foundational text on the subject of marriage, sex, and the family is 1 Corinthians 7:1-9. It’s incredibly practical; and, if you’ll commit to obeying the words of Scripture—rather, than listening to the foolish, so-called “wisdom” of the world—you’ll have that strong & happy marriage that everyone longs for.  It’s an intriguing passage! What the Apostle Paul says to the Church of Corinth—and, these are words inspired by God’s Holy Spirit—are completely out-of-step with the world’s wisdom and the societal norms for family & for human sexuality! So, choose who you’re going to listen to!

-Where Healthy Sex Happens!

If you just google “A Healthy Sex Life” you’ll get results like “10 Signs You Have A Healthy Sex Life”—but, not one sign is attached to marriage between a man & a woman! Your google search results will also include articles on sexual dysfunction & how to maintain an active sex life; but, again, with no reference to marriage! But, according to God, “Healthy Sex” ONLY happens in a marriage relationship between a man and a woman! Over & over, the Word of God warns us against the ramifications of sexual conduct outside of a marriage between a man and a woman! All other sexual activities are spiritually unhealthy because it is disobedience to God’s word! But, it can also prove to be physically & emotionally unhealthy! It has a trickle down effect, negatively impacting others downline! Next Week: We’ll get into 1 Cor. 7.

 

How Has Worship Changed You?

-What Motivates You To Worship?

People are motivated to seek after God for all kinds of different reasons—some good; some bad; some seeking truth; some seeking personal power; some genuine; and, some deceptive! Matthew’s gospel reveals a “seeking after God” that was deceptive—on the part of King Herod! If you’re thinking ahead 3 months to Christmas, you might think of Herod as the “bad guy” in the Christmas story! He was seeking the Christ-child to destroy Him & he was so committed to killing Jesus that he ordered genocide against all the male children, under 2 years, in an attempt to kill Him. His lust for power was insatiable!

-Motivated To Seek After God!

There was another group who were motivated to seek after God; but—in direct contrast to Herod—they were motivated, not by personal gain; but, out of a desire to Worship Him:  “…wise men from the east arrived unexpectedly in Jerusalem, saying, ‘Where is He who has been born King of the Jews? For we saw His star in the east and have come to worship Him….It (the star) led them until it came and stopped above the place where the child was. When they saw the star, they were overjoyed beyond measure. Entering the house, they saw the child with Mary His mother, and falling to their knees, they worshiped Him” Matthew 2:1-12.  When worship, of God, is genuine, the heart & life will be changed! Perhaps nothing contrasts that truth more than Herod & the wise men’s story.

-Genuine Worship Is A Life Changer!

Herod feigned worship in his attempt to kill Jesus; but, he was a fraud! While the worship, of the wise men, was a heart & life changer because it was genuine! Their worship was INTENTIONAL— “…we have come to worship Him…” v.2. Jesus was their sole purpose for coming! They left their homes to search for Him! Their worship also ELEVATED JESUS & lowered SELF—when, “…they saw the child they fell to their knees…” To fall to one’s knees, before another, was the same as saying, “YOU have great dignity & I am lowly by comparison.” Their worship was also EMOTIONAL— “…they were overjoyed beyond measure…” v.10. If they had a gauge affixed to them, to measure emotion, they would have broke it!

-Their Worship Was Sacrificial!

Finally, the text says, “…they opened their treasures and presented Him with gifts: gold, frankincense, and myrrh” v.11.  They sacrificed GOLD which was offered to deities in that day—They honored Him as “EMMANUEL”—God With Us! They sacrificed FRANKINCENSE which was used by the priests at the altar—Jesus is our great High Priest who offers Himself & intercedes for us! And, they sacrificed MYRRH, an oil used primarily for embalming the dead—Jesus died for us! None of that is coincidental! God calls us out to worship Him—to “…offer your bodies as a living sacrifice which is your SPIRITUAL WORSHIP…” Romans 12:2. We’re called to worship Him by giving ourselves, to Him, as a living sacrifice!  That’s how worship changes us—we’re NOT our own! 1 Cor. 6:19-20. We give ourselves TO HIM in genuine worship!

 

The Problem With Loving God!

-What Does It Look Like?

Through the years, I have met many people who claim that they love God; and, I’ve asked them what that looks like! What does it look like to love God? How would you answer that question? In Mark’s gospel, chapter 12, Jesus said:  “…Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength” Mark 12:28-30.  In fact, Jesus says that to love God personally is THE most important command! But, there’s a 2nd point to draw from His words— we’re called “…to love God WITH ALL WE HAVE.”

-Love God With All We Have!

Therein lies the problem with loving God! How can we love God with all we have; and, again, what does that kind of love look like? Four times He uses the word “ALL”; which, literally means “the WHOLE.” In other words, Jesus is saying that genuine love, for God, has to be “ALL IN.” We can’t love Him half-heartedly; or, we’re a liar!  Real love, for God, is comprehensive! It’s all inclusive! There’s no area of our life that can be left out! We love Him with “…our whole heart…” So, our heart is devoted to Him. There’s no pretense! No hypocrisy! We can’t say we love Him & live our life like He doesn’t exist! We don’t ignore those we truly love, do we?

-Get Emotional Over God!

And, then, Jesus says that to love God with ALL we have—or, to be “ALL IN”—is to love Him “…with all your soul…” Our soul is the seat of our emotions! He gave us emotions so we could love Him & worship Him. So, love Him & worship Him deeply! Get emotional over Him! Desire Him! You ought to be concerned if you can get all emotional over an animal; or, a Hallmark Christmas movie; or, a football game; but, you have no emotions for God! Is that kind of love and faith even genuine? Jesus also says that to love God, with all you have, is to love Him “…with all your mind…” So, while we love Him with our emotions, it’s not mindless emotion! We think about Him; and, we submit our thinking to Him! We love Him because we’ve considered Him! We’ve meditated on Him; and, we’ve made a conscious decision to love Him because we really know Him! We know His infinite worth!

-Love God With Your Strength!

Finally, Jesus says to “…love God with all your strength.” That is the BEST we have! We’re to love Him out of our STRENGTH; NOT, our leftovers! This word relates to our physical being. We love Him in our ACTIONS!—with our hands & our feet! If our love for God is genuine we’ll serve Him and others with a passionate energy—with our STRENGTH! As I worked through this passage, I was moved—I believe by His Spirit—to ask myself the question, “Why do I love God?’ And, one Scripture echoed, “We love Him because He first loved us” 1 John 4:19. I am only capable of loving God with ALL I have because He loved me first! I’m a sinful, broken man; and, the only way I can grow to love God “ALL IN” is by His Spirit’s power!