When Good Sex Goes Bad

When It Happens Outside Of Marriage

According to God—who, by the way, created sex—healthy sex only happens within a marriage between a man and a woman. The Word of God warns us about the consequences of sexual conduct outside the safety of marriage. All other sexual activities are spiritually unhealthy because they involve disobedience to God and His Word. Additionally, they can also lead to physical and emotional harm. The effects often create a ripple effect, negatively impacting families and future generations.

Messing Up People’s Lives

When your sex life doesn’t align with Scripture, it can impact not just you but many others as well. Here’s something to consider, especially if you feel like you’ve already made too many mistakes—that you’re beyond hope. Maybe you grew up in a worldly environment and were never taught these biblical truths. Or perhaps you heard them but believed you were clever enough to outsmart ‘the system,’ so you experimented with sex and are now facing the consequences. The good news is that, thanks to Jesus’ work on the cross, you are not beyond redemption! 

Good News For Those Who Messed Up

The Gospel is good news for every sinner, regardless of the sin! We serve a God who brings beauty from ashes. Through the cross, there is forgiveness and restoration. So, don’t hide behind your sin any longer—confess it so you may be healed (James 5:16). From this day forward, stand firmly on the foundation of God’s Word when it comes to your sexual purity. God’s Word alone provides the flawless counsel needed to build healthy marriages. In 1 Corinthians, the Apostle Paul shares several truths about sexuality as directed by God: “It is good for a man not to have relations with a woman. But because sexual immorality is so common, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband… I say the following as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all people were just like me. But each has his own gift from God—one person in this way and another in that way. I say to the unmarried and to widows: It is good for them if they remain as I am.” (1 Corinthians 7:1, 6-8)

Is Celibacy A Gift?

What Paul is advocating here is celibacy. He appears to suggest that celibacy is a gift from God given to certain individuals. So, if the idea of living a celibate life seems impossible for you, it likely means that you do not have that particular gift. I intentionally use the word celibacy instead of singleness because celibacy more accurately describes what Paul is referring to—complete abstinence from all sexual relations. In contrast, our modern culture tends to favor the term singleness, often associating it with a lack of relational or sexual boundaries. It’s seen as a lifestyle of ‘Sex and the City’ or ‘friends with benefits,’ making it a poor reflection of what Paul is actually addressing. When Paul says, ‘It is good for a man not to have relations with a woman‘ (v.1), he is using it as a euphemism for sexual intercourse—which is confirmed by the context of verse 2. Therefore, celibacy is not only a legitimate option but a good and honorable gift from God.
 

The Fading Glory of Creation

Don’t Accept A Cheap Substitute

When we refuse to give God the glory He alone deserves, we exchange the glory of an immortal Creator for the glory of created things. In other words, we accept cheap substitutes. When we could have gloried in an eternal, immortal, all-powerful Creator, we glory instead in the fading glory of a creation that groans and dies under the weight of sin’s curse. James wrote: “Let the rich man glory in his humiliation, because as a flower of the field he will pass away. For no sooner has the sun risen with a burning heat than it withers the grass; its flower falls, and its beautiful appearance perishes. So the rich man also will fade away in his pursuits” (James 1:9-11).

Beauty Queens and Hip Replacements

That means beauty queens grow old and decrepit. It means sports stars age, get hip and knee replacements. If you value anything more than God, you’ve exchanged the “imperishable” for the “perishable.” You’ve traded a diamond for that rotten peach that’s been in the back of your fridge for the last three months! You’ve exchanged gold for a rusty bolt. In Paul’s letter to the church in Rome, he says that when you dismiss or deny God’s glory, you exchange the truth of God for lies of sexual perversions: “…God delivered them over in the cravings of their hearts to sexual impurity, so that their bodies were degraded among themselves. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie…” (Romans 1:24-25).

God Is Not The Killjoy In The Sky

Listen, God is not the big “sex killjoy” in the sky! He’s not a prude! He created sex. Contrary to what some people seem to think, sex wasn’t our idea. God created sex, and the reason He restricted sexual activity to a husband and a wife is because He loves us. His way is the best way for us. All sexual activity—outside that which is between a husband and a wife—will always result in painful, negative experiences. Humanity keeps ignoring God’s glory when it comes to sexual conduct, so God delivers them over to sexual impurity, Paul says. Our society is bent on degrading their bodies because they’ve believed all the lies of sexual perversions. There’s a really important principle here!

Living With Regret

You can glory in the lies of sin and get some momentary pleasure out of it, but the pleasure is soon gone, and what remains is regret. Or you can glory in the truth of God and gain happiness and joy that does not fade in this life—a joy that actually carries over into eternity. You can live without regrets now! Give God the glory due His name. Redirect any praise that might come your way to Him. Humble yourself before Him. Admit that you’re not a self-made man or woman. You’re made in the image of God for His glory. If you’re a follower of Jesus, His Spirit indwells you, and He is making you into the image of Christ. Everything you have—yes, everything—comes from Him! Don’t take any credit for your accomplishments; that’s what unbelievers do. Stand with the Apostle Paul: “As for me, I will never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ” (Galatians 6:14). Brag on the cross and Jesus’ work for our salvation!
 

Consider It Joy To Be Tested!

-Are We Prepared For Persecution?

It seems it’s time to ask ourselves if we’ve prepared our children and our grandchildren for a time when it might be against the law to be a Christian in this country! It doesn’t seem like the church, in general, has done a very good job of that! We have “Americanized” what it means to be a follower of Jesus! Christianity was birthed in a world that crucified its Founder! Jesus said, “If they crucify Me, they will crucify you!” The 1st-century follower of Jesus was considered a revolutionary! Do you know what the Roman government did with revolutionaries? They killed them!

-We’ve Sanitized The Faith!

All but one of Jesus’ disciples were killed or martyred for their faith! American Christianity knows nothing about that kinds of tests and trials. We’ve sanitized the faith! Somehow, we’ve accepted the lie that all you have to do is ask Jesus to be your Savior and you’ll never have another problem! Many believers have learned to look down on an individual who struggles in life like they’re just not very spiritual! We’ve accepted the lie that we’re entitled to live in a Christian, God-fearing, Bible-honoring America! But, God never made that promise! Quite the opposite!

-Called To Be Jesus To The World!

God calls us to be revolutionaries; He calls us to be Jesus to the world that crucified Him! He calls us to love them as Jesus loved them; even if it means dying to see them saved! God’s revolutionary looks a whole lot different than the world. Our revolutionary warfare is fought by the Spirit; not like Peter attempted in the Garden. Jesus told him to put away his sword. This war is fought on our knees in prayer! Our sword is the Word of God! He intends we take the Gospel to everyone around us! That’s Christ’s commission! The book of James is a dynamic declaration of what real discipleship looks like; how it’s fleshed out even as we go through testing.

-Responding To Trials & Tests!

You need James’ message because all of us are either coming out of a testing, we’re in the middle of a trial or test right now, or we’re heading into one! No one leaves this world unscathed. So, let me point out how James, under the divine inspiration of the Holy Spirit, tells us to respond to the trials & the tests & the disappointments of life! “Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing” James 1:2-4. What? Consider it a joy to be tested by God? That’s what he said!

-Committed To Facing Trials!

We need God’s supernatural help if we’re going to be committed to facing our trials with a joyful heart as James says! We need God’s help because “joy” is a fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-26). That means that your flesh cannot produce a joyful heart! It’s incapable! Let me add that he’s not talking about “temptations” to sin here. We’re not supposed to be filled with “joy” when we face temptations to sin! We’re supposed to FLEE those kinds of temptations the Apostle Paul told Timothy (2 Tim. 2:22-24). James, here, is referring to the trials, tests, and difficulties of life! And, our flesh will never respond with “joy” when those things enter our lives! Because of our sinful flesh, our natural response is never going to please God, is it? Our flesh always wants to please our flesh! A spiritual response is counter-intuitive for us. It’s not natural! It’s God’s work in us! So, what James is calling for here will require that we crucify our flesh!