Category Archives: Word of God

Prayer That Views God As Sovereign

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Why Do We Ask “Why”?

Whenever we experience something painful, it’s so typical for us to ask “WHY,” isn’t it? Why me? Why do I have to go through this? Hannah’s story, in 1 Samuel, is particularly eye-opening! When she found herself unable to conceive and have children, it would have been normal for her to ask, “Why am I unable to have a baby?” The Scripture addresses that “WHY” question: “…the LORD had KEPT HER from conceiving… because the LORD had KEPT Hannah from conceiving…” (1 Samuel 1:5–6). God takes credit for her inability to conceive! While doctors may have come up with a “medical reason” to explain it, God’s sovereign control was actually behind the human “medical reason.”

Praying In The LORD’S Presence

Hannah responded to her condition by going to the source—“…she continued praying in the LORD’S presence” (v.10, 12). Above all our human problems and conditions is God’s sovereignty! Now, I know that many believers just don’t want to credit God with that much sovereignty. They’d rather say that God “ALLOWED” it; but He’s not really the “CAUSE.” And they believe they’re “protecting” God’s reputation in doing so! But listen: if God is not sovereign over every event and everything else, then you either have to believe that Satan is just as powerful as God— and there really is a “battle” going on between good and evil— and God might not win! Or, you have to believe that man’s “free will” is sovereign and trumps God’s will!

Sovereign and Omnipotent

I believe the Scriptures tell us that God is both sovereign and omnipotent. And in Exodus 4:11, when God said to Moses, “Who made the human mouth? Who makes him mute or deaf, seeing or blind? Is it not I, Yahweh?” He was taking sovereign credit for such things as blindness, deafness, and the inability to speak! In His absolute wisdom, He uses the pain and suffering we endure in this world—for our good and for His glory! It was because Hannah saw her inability to bear children as part of God’s sovereign plan that she prayed with a motivation for God’s glory. She saw her negative circumstance as God’s opportunity to bring Himself glory!

God’s Sovereign Plans For Your Kids

All the years of barrenness helped Hannah realize something that many parents never comprehend—that children aren’t just for parents! They are for the Lord! God has His design for your kids, and they ultimately belong to Him! Are you more into your plans for your kids or His plans? Hannah’s not bargaining with God in her prayer—He doesn’t bargain with anyone! Out of her painful experience, God had changed her. He had used her suffering to prepare her heart to give her child to God, Who gave it! “After some time, Hannah conceived and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel because she said, ‘I requested him from the Lord,’ though the boy was still young, she took him to the LORD’S house at Shiloh” (vs. 20–24). Hannah saw it as her great privilege to give her son to the Lord for His purpose!
 

How God Uses Prayer To Heal You

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Your Response Is Key

The pain and suffering of unfulfilled hopes and dreams can foster an internal root of bitterness and leave emotional scars. Unless you respond like Hannah, whose story is told in 1 Samuel 1-2. Hannah took all her pain, suffering, and bitterness to the only One capable of doing something about it—Hannah prayed to God! Her story shows us that God uses our God-honoring prayers to heal our brokenness. I’m not saying that prayer fixes it! I’m not saying that you’ll always get what you want when you pray! But if your prayer is “God-honoring,” He will use it to heal the brokenness inside you.

Prayer Can Change You

Prayer won’t necessarily change your circumstances; but God will use your prayer to change you! He’ll give you the understanding you need to accept His will. We need Hannah’s story! God teaches us about life in Hannah’s story! We all have burdens to bear! No one leaves this life unscathed, without experiencing a myriad of painful circumstances. Hannah’s story gives us some answers to the “why” questions behind those circumstances; and it also gives us some answers to the “how” questions—such as, “How” should we respond to those circumstances as followers of Christ? So, we all need this! Through Hannah’s story, God gives us another example of effective prayer. It’s effective because it’s God-honoring! It’s also effective because it’s “God-centered”!

Pray Like Hannah

I want to challenge you to learn to pray like Hannah. Ask God’s help to change the way you pray if it doesn’t line up with Scripture, such as Hannah’s example! Look at the text: “…the Lord had kept her from conceiving. Her rival would taunt her severely just to provoke her, because the Lord had kept Hannah from conceiving” (1 Samuel 1:5–6). In v.10, the text says that “…deeply hurt, Hannah prayed to the LORD and wept with many tears. Making a vow, she pleaded, ‘Lord of Hosts, if You will take notice of Your servant’s affliction, remember and not forget me, and give Your servant a son, I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life…’” That’s an effective prayer because she prayed with a view to God’s sovereignty over her situation.

Seeing God’s Sovereignty

Whenever we experience something painful, it’s so typical for us to ask the “why” question, isn’t it—Why me? Why do I have to go through this? Why was Hannah childless? Why was she unable to conceive? The Scripture says it was the Lord’s doing, doesn’t it? God is the ultimate sovereign over all our problems; and Hannah believed that! It wasn’t because of “natural causes” that she couldn’t conceive. I’m sure if Hannah lived in our day that doctors would have come up with some “medical reason” why she couldn’t have children; but God’s sovereign control is behind every “medical reason.” Clearly, God had graciously given Hannah a “problem” in her life. That’s why she went to Him in prayer. In v.12, it says, “…she continued praying in the LORD’s presence.” She believed nothing was outside His ability to alter!

A Mother’s Effective Prayer

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You Don’t Have To Be Superman

Why is it our human tendency to think that good Christians must not have any problems? Maybe it’s because we come to church and see all the smiling faces, and we assume they must have it all together. Or maybe we’ve heard too many sermons on the abundant Christian life, and we assume there’s some secret formula we have yet to discover. If we can just find it, then the Christian life will become effortless, and temptations will bounce off us like bullets off Superman!

What About Pain & Suffering?

I have a well-intentioned Christian friend who called me several times over the three-year period when I dealt with cancer, surgeries, and chemo. He told me it wasn’t God’s will that I had cancer because I was a pastor and a “good man.” And yet, I told him, “I have cancer.” None of us are immune to pain, suffering, sickness, heartache, or loss. Job is the poster child for pain and suffering, and yet Scripture’s testimony of Job was that, “…He was a man of perfect integrity, who feared God and turned away from evil” (Job 1:1, 8). He was a righteous man who endured some of the worst pain and suffering in the history of mankind. Job’s commentary on pain and suffering was that, “…mankind is born for trouble as surely as sparks fly upward” (Job 5:7). And so, it ought not to surprise us that trouble afflicts the righteous as well as the ungodly.

Look It Up In Your Bible

If you have doubts about that, check it out for yourself. Research the Bible, starting at the very beginning, and see how many of God’s faithful followers endured significant pain and loss in this life. Eventually, you’ll come to Hannah’s story in 1 Samuel 1. Her story is intertwined with that of her husband and his second wife: “There was a man from Ramathaim-zophim in the hill country of Ephraim. His name was Elkanah… He had two wives, the first named Hannah and the second Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah was childless” (1 Samuel 1:1–2).So, there was the rub—she was childless. But to make matters worse, her husband’s other wife had children and taunted her because of it. The next few verses point out her pain—she wept, she wouldn’t eat, she was deeply hurt.

Don’t Try To Counsel God

Look at this: “…the Lord had kept her from conceiving. Her rival would taunt her severely just to provoke her, because the Lord had kept Hannah from conceiving. Whenever she went up to the Lord’s house, her rival taunted her in this way every year.” So Hannah wept. The text says: “…and she would not eat… deeply hurt… Hannah prayed to the LORD and wept with many tears. Making a vow, she pleaded, ‘Lord of Hosts, if You will take notice of Your servant’s affliction, remember and not forget me, and give Your servant a son, I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life…’” (1 Samuel 1:5–11). Notice—she didn’t take matters into her own hands. She prayed. We all have more in common with Hannah’s childlessness than we may think. And we need to respond, like Hannah, by taking all our pain to the only One who can fix it.
 

Praying About Temptations

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How Did Jesus Teach Us To Pray?

Let me challenge you to take a good, long look at your prayers! Are your prayers consumed with requests? Little more than sending God a grocery list of items you want Him to do for you! If so, you need to spend some time meditating on Jesus’ response to His disciples when they approached Him: “Lord, teach us to pray!” (Matthew 6:5-13) They found a deficiency in their prayer life; so, they sought Jesus’ counsel to improve it! One of the last things He teaches them to pray about is “temptation”— “And do not bring us into temptation.”

A Warning About Being In The World

Up until this point, in Jesus’ counsel about prayer, His focus had been on praying over our relationships with God and the people around us. Now, He teaches us to pray about going out into the world, where He’s called us to make disciples; but, there’s a bit of a warning! We need to pray— “Lord, as we go into the world to advance Your kingdom, we need Your strength to help us be IN the world and not OF it!” We will face some spiritual warfare as we advance against Satan’s kingdom! There is an evil one who wants to take us down! We need to pray for the Spirit’s strength to withstand him; so, we pray for the Father’s guidance.

A Prime Motivation For Prayer

Overcoming sin and evil should be a prime motivation in our prayers! Are your prayers motivated by a desire to walk deliberately with your God? To love Him with a desire to keep His commandments? Test yourself! Are your prayers centered on the STUFF you want, or on Holy Spirit help to beat sin? Finally, Jesus adds these words, in His counsel to His disciples, about prayer: “…deliver us from the evil one…” (v.13) Earlier, in His ministry, Jesus had taught them that “…the evil one comes only to steal and to kill…” (John 10:10). He wants to steal your joy in the Lord and your love for God and others! He wants to kill your effectiveness as a disciple! And we don’t have the strength in ourselves to stand against him! We’re no match for Satan. So, Jesus is teaching us— as His disciples— to humble ourselves by praying for the Father’s protection from evil! To pray that He would deliver us from Satan! And, from falling back into sin! To stand firm and finish strong despite persecution, if we should face that kind of resistance.

Don’t Try To Counsel God

As I bring this series of posts on Jesus’ “model” prayer to a close, let me remind you never to pray like you’re trying to be God’s counselor! Never pray like you’re trying to convince God that YOU know the best way to run His kingdom! Clearly, Jesus leaves no room in His counsel on prayer for us to make prayer about what we think God should do. He’s far too wise! We’re far too ignorant of the details of His work in the world. He is an omniscient God—in other words, He knows EVERYTHING! That means He’s already considered anything you might try to convince Him to do! He may answer in the affirmative! Or, He may answer negatively! And if He does, it’s because He knows the “end from the beginning” and has the best reasons to make the wisest decision! Let us learn to pray with humility, trusting God’s answers always!
 

Prayer Is Not Counseling God

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We Don’t Know What’s Best

I’m afraid that many people treat prayer as their opportunity to counsel God on certain matters. We ought never to pray like we’re trying to convince God that we know what’s best—as if the eternal, all-wise God, who knows the end from the beginning and everything in between, needs our advice for anything! His eternal plans for creation were already laid out before the world began. The writer of Acts reminds us: “The God who made the world and everything in it—He is Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in shrines made by hands. Neither is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives everyone life and breath and all things.” —Acts 17:24–27

God Doesn’t Need Our Counsel

When it comes to prayer, let’s get one thing straight: GOD DOESN’T NEED ANYTHING… INCLUDING OUR COUNSEL! He didn’t create us because of some deficiency, hoping that we could fix Him. There’s a clear, underlying message in Jesus’ response to His disciples’ question: “Lord, teach us to pray.” God doesn’t need us—we need Him! According to Jesus’ response in Matthew 6, prayer is to be GOD-CENTERED. “Pray like this,” He says, and He begins with the “Father,” not with us. By the way, He didn’t tell them to memorize it and repeat it mindlessly—“Our Father, who art in heaven…blah, blah, blah.” He said, “…pray like this.” This is how we’re supposed to pray—it’s Jesus’ model prayer.

Don’t Try Twisting God’s Arm

Rather than making prayer our attempt to twist God’s arm over something we want Him to do, prayer should begin with a focus on God the Father. Start your conversation with the Creator of the universe by honoring Him for His character. Praise Him for who He is! Don’t rush into His presence like your schedule is what matters—“Here’s my grocery list of needs, God! Will You go shopping for me?” Show Him reverence when you pray. You’re entering the throne room of Heaven! God transcends far above anything on your agenda. There’s an order here: Your kingdom first, Father! Our greatest desire should be that God’s name is hallowed, admired, and cherished. And He’s “our” Father too, Jesus says. Never get over that great doctrine of adoption—that God has birthed us into His family!

We Become His Children

Though we were born children of wrath because of our sin, He adopts us into His family in Christ. We’re FAMILY! Depend on Him like He’s family—because He is! We’re brothers, sisters, and joint-heirs with Jesus Himself. Then Jesus models prayer by moving from the Father’s character to His KINGDOM: “Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” —Matthew 6:10 So, pray like this, Jesus says—pray for the Father’s KINGDOM and for His WILL. If we’re praying like Jesus taught us to pray, our primary concern will be for the Father’s glory and the advancement of His kingdom. Our prayers will be GOD-CENTERED. Take note of the things you pray for. Are your prayers motivated by your dreams and goals, or by God’s eternal kingdom, His will, and His plans? Mature believers pray for God’s will above their own.

Lord, Teach Us To Pray

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Bad Prayer Habits Abound

I want to begin this series of posts on the subject of prayer by sharing with you the results of a survey titled “Top Ten Bad Prayer Habits.” Here they are: #10 — “My prayers are just a grocery list!” #9 — “I make my grocery list during my prayer time!” #8 — “I only pray by myself!” #7 — “I see prayer only as my personal wish list!” #6 — “I always pray the same thing and get bored!” #5 — “I only pray when I’m in a crisis!” #4 — “I do all the talking while I pray!” #3 — “I can’t stay focused while I pray!” #2 — “I’m just too busy to start my day with prayer!” #1 — “I don’t pray at all!” Can you identify with any of that? I can! I’m guessing we’ve all had—or still do have—some bad prayer habits. Now, if you claim to be a Christian, a follower of Jesus Christ, you can see how that would be a bit problematic if you don’t pray at all, right?

Praying Like Jesus

There’s an amazing New Testament text about prayer in Matthew’s Gospel. Jesus was praying, and when He finished, one of His disciples said to Him, “Lord, teach us to pray!” Now, let me share my take on that scenario. I see it kind of like one of our typical church prayer meetings. Jesus and His disciples are all gathered in a circle praying, and the disciples have their little prayer lists: “God, keep us safe from the Romans… Help Zebedee catch lots of fish today… Help us not to get leprosy! That’s been going around… Oh, and bless the missionaries!” And when they finish, they look up—and Jesus is still praying! Minutes pass by. Maybe an hour. We don’t know. The text doesn’t tell us. But I get the idea that things begin to feel a bit awkward as the inadequacy of their own prayer lives becomes evident. Maybe they start whispering among themselves, as they often did:  “Hey, ask Him how to pray!” “I’m not gonna ask Him—that would be embarrassing! It’d be like admitting I don’t know how to pray!” However it actually worked out, one of them wrenches up the courage to ask Him: “Lord, teach us how to pray!” Not “me,” but “us”! So Jesus tells them how to pray. We need to pay attention here, church! To summarize, He tells them never to pray like they’re counseling God.

When You Pray

He told them: “…you should pray like this: Our Father in heaven, Your name be honored as holy. Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And do not bring us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one…” —Matthew 6:9–13 If you were to underline or highlight any of Jesus’ words here, I’d go back to: v.5: “…whenever you pray…” v.6: “…when you pray…” v.7: “…when you pray…” v.9: “…pray like this…” Over the next couple of posts, we’ll dig deeper into Jesus’ instruction about prayer. And—spoiler alert—Jesus makes it clear that God doesn’t need us to tell Him what to do. That’s not prayer! Don’t hang out a shingle and try to be “God’s counselor.” Jesus tells them that prayer is how we align ourselves with God’s sovereign plans.
 

A Distinctly Christ-Centered Home (Part II)

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It’s Counter-Intuitive To The Majority Culture

In so many ways, keeping step with Jesus and Scripture is counterintuitive to the majority culture. The culture will often tell a woman to divorce her husband if they don’t share the same values. But the Apostle Peter’s Holy Spirit-inspired words tell us that a husband who is disobedient to the Lord “…may be won over without a message by the way their wives live…” (1 Peter 3:1). She doesn’t need to nag! It’s possible that the Spirit can use her life in such a dramatic way that her husband may be “won over without a message.” She doesn’t need to preach at him!

Internal Adornment & Beauty

Peter builds on that point in the verses that follow: “…when they observe your pure, reverent lives. Your beauty should not consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold ornaments or fine clothes. Instead, it should consist of what is inside the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very valuable in God’s eyes” (1 Peter 3:2–4). If you’re a wife who’s a follower of Jesus, your life should be marked by internal adornment and beauty. And let’s be clear—Peter is not teaching that women should refrain from makeup and jewelry. What he’s saying is that your life should consist of more than the “paint” and “bling” on the outside. How shallow! “Live pure and reverent lives,” he says.

Have A Beautiful Heart

Focus on making your heart beautiful by yielding to God’s Word and His Spirit. Just because you can say something doesn’t mean you should! Don’t give your husband a piece of your mind that you can’t afford to lose. My girls are familiar with a verse of Scripture that I often quoted to them: “A beautiful woman without discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout” (Proverbs 11:22). Your hope ought to be placed in God’s sovereignty—“…in the past, holy women like Sarah put their hope in God as they submitted…” (1 Peter 3:5–6). Go back and read the Genesis account of Abraham and Sarah’s life. It’s interesting that she was never present when God gave Abraham His instruction, but she submitted to Abraham by putting her hope in God’s sovereign control of the situation. She let God work out the kinks in her husband’s head. She didn’t nag!

Husband: Know Your Wife

Let me finish by drawing your attention to Peter’s words to the Christian husband: “Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives with an understanding of their weaker nature, yet showing them honor as coheirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7). Your life, as a husband who follows Jesus, will be marked by an understanding of your wife. Now, I know that some of you men reading this are laughing inside—“You really think we can ever understand a woman?” No, I don’t! And this is a subject I have a really hard time preaching on because I personally stink at it so badly. But what it seems Peter is saying, in part, is that “…as you live with your wife, gain an understanding of her…” Study your wife! What causes her tension and frustration? Serve her in those areas. Be a help to her!

A Distinctly Christ-Centered Home (Part I)

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It Starts With Communication

I’m quite sure that everyone would agree that communication plays a huge part in family relationships! I heard of a man and wife who had only a dog that they loved like a child. One day, the wife headed out on a business trip, and when she got to her destination, she called home to check in with her husband. “How are things going?” she asked. His reply was shocking: “The dog’s dead.” “What?” she asked. “Why would you just come right out and say it like that? That’s devastating! Couldn’t you have told me that news a little differently? I’m miles from home, and you just blurt it out there—‘the dog’s dead.’” “Well, I don’t know how else to say it,” he responded. “I mean, he’s dead!” “Well,” she said, “you could have broken the news to me in stages.” “Like, what do you mean?” he asked. “Well, when I first called, you could have told me the dog fell off the roof. Then, when I checked in later, you might have said you had to take the dog to the animal hospital and he wasn’t doing well. The next day, you might have told me to sit down and brace myself—our darling dog has passed away! You could have done it like that so I could have handled it better.” “Okay, I get it,” he said. “I’m sorry! I’ll try to do better next time.” “Okay, thanks, honey,” she said. “I just needed to clear that up. So, how is my mother?” There was a pause. “She’s on the roof!” While that story may or may not have a whole lot to do with a distinctly Christ-centered home, I thought it was worth the chuckle it might generate.

A Uniquely Distinct Home

So let me begin this series of posts with the following statement—the life of a Christian husband and wife will be uniquely distinct from the marriages of the world! If you intend to follow Jesus, you need to settle that in your heart! The world will think us crazy, but that’s the world’s wisdom. Always remember: “The foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom” (1 Corinthians 1:25). As long as we live by “the Book,” our worldview will never be accepted by the unbelieving crowd. We need to be okay with that! Don’t be abrasive about it. Always be kind and respectful when sharing your position. Just know that your view will be rejected.

Your Life As A Christian Wife

According to the Holy Spirit of God, who inspired Peter to write these words, your life as a Christian wife will be marked by submission to your own husband: “In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the Christian message, they may be won over without a message by the way their wives live” (1 Peter 3:1). Ladies, you’ll make no friends with the “Women’s Movement” if submission marks your relationship with your husband—but you will be a friend of God! That word “submit”—in the original Greek language—means to submit voluntarily to your husband’s lead. And notice how significant that could be in an unbelieving husband’s life. If your husband is disobedient to God, God may use your obedience to win your husband over to the Lord! (PART II Next Week)

Created With Specific Tasks

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Adam & Eve Created To Be A Team

After creating Adam & Eve, God gave them specific duties as male & female. The text says, “God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it. Rule the fish of the sea, the birds of the sky, and every creature that crawls on the earth” Genesis 1:28.  There were several things He outlined for them to do— be fruitful & multiply; and, fill the earth & subdue it; and, have dominion over all things! And, notice, it says that God blessed “THEM.” This was to be a “team” effort! God never intended for it to be a “MAN’S World.”

Complementary Roles

The woman complemented the man in fulfilling these duties! And, then we turn the page, of Scripture, to Genesis chapter 2, where we’re given the “details” of creation that had only been skimmed in chapter 1.  God gives them different “roles” or “duties” to fulfill— COMPLEMENTARY ROLES! They fit together by God’s creative design! He created man 1st to work the Garden— “The Lord God formed the man out of the dust from the ground and breathed the breath of life into his nostrils, and the man became a living being.   The Lord God planted a garden in Eden… The Lord God took the man & placed him in the garden of Eden to work it and watch over it” ch. 2:7-8, 15.

God’s Charge To Adam

Interestingly, God also created man 1st with a charge to obey: “And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree of the garden, but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for on the day you eat from it, you will certainly die” ch. 2:16-17.  So, God’s command NOT to eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good & Evil was given to Adam, NOT Eve! Have you ever noticed that before?

Where’s Adam?

The text details Eve’s arrival starting with v.18.  That’s significant! Which begs the question, “where was Adam”, when Satan shows up in chapter 3 and tempts Eve with the condemned fruit? Adam had received the instruction not to eat from the tree & he should have been Eve’s support to obey the command he’d been given! So, God declares, in v.18, the key to understanding God’s design for the sexes:  “The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper as his complement.” Adam couldn’t carry out his duties without her!

Adam Couldn’t Do It Without Her

He couldn’t be fruitful & multiply without HER! He couldn’t fill the earth & subdue it without HER! In a very dramatic way God convinced Adam that it was impossible for him to make it on his own! By delaying His creation of Eve, Adam came to recognize how important she was! God created the sexes NOT for competition; but, for cooperation, to complement! It’s hopeless to make life work, on planet Earth, the one without the other! God designed us for interdependence— MEN, you can’t do what you were created to do without women; and, WOMEN, you can’t do what you were created to do without men! That’s not what the culture says! But, the culture is WRONG! The culture didn’t design men & women. Can you imagine how different, how perfect, this world would be if it still looked like it did in Genesis 1,2?

Living In A Sexually Immoral Culture

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Where To Find The Best Council

The seventh chapter of the Apostle Paul’s letter to the church in Corinth contains some of the best counsel available on sex and marriage. Though he opens with an endorsement of celibacy, he quickly adds, “…because sexual immorality is so common, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband” (1 Corinthians 7:2). In a sexually charged culture like Corinth, marriage is God’s gift to most believers. Why? Because it is the only form of sexual activity that God ordains!

An Undefiled Marriage Bed

The author of Hebrews puts it this way: “Marriage must be respected by all, and the marriage bed kept undefiled, because God will judge immoral people and adulterers” (Hebrews 13:4). The phrase “marriage bed” was an idiom synonymous with sex. So, respect it, because God will judge the immoral or adulterous person who plays the part of a married person sexually! But they’re not married—they’re just playing house. In a culture where sexual immorality is so prevalent—like it was in Corinth and like it is in our own country—God’s answer is simple: Get married! In the ninth verse of Paul’s Corinthian letter, the Holy Spirit prompts him to write, “…if they do not have self-control (to remain celibate), they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with desire.”

Marriage: A Deterrent To Immorality

Marriage is a helpful deterrent to sexual immorality. That might not seem like the best motive for getting married, but Paul and the Spirit of God are simply being practical—it is better than immorality! At the same time, Paul qualifies the gift of marriage with some stipulations. Marriage does not guarantee freedom from sexual immorality; rather, marriage partners have a sexual responsibility to one another. Do not misunderstand Paul’s message here—marriage deters a life of sexual immorality, but only if the husband and wife fulfill their sexual responsibilities to each other. “A husband should fulfill his marital responsibility to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband. A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does. Do not deprive one another sexually” (1 Corinthians 7:3-5).

Being Sexually Responsible

There’s a lot packed into these three verses. Paul is preaching monogamy. He’s emphasizing a heterosexual relationship. And he’s teaching that a husband and wife have a sexual responsibility to fulfill with each other. Some translations even refer to it as a “debt” or an “obligation.” Again, that may not sound romantic, but this is serious teaching from Paul. You can’t state it much stronger than he does in verse 5— “Don’t deprive one another sexually…” Some translations render it, “Don’t defraud one another…” The husband’s body does not belong to him alone, and the wife’s body does not belong to her alone. When sex is used as a weapon to punish perceived wrongdoing by a spouse, it defrauds them and places them in a vulnerable position to fall into sexual sin, Paul warns. Don’t do it!