Tag Archives: God’s Character

Give Up Your Life

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Great In God’s Kingdom

In my last post, we talked about the kind of life that Jesus called great! We picked up on His conversation with the disciples after two of them—James and John—asked if they could sit in seats of power next to Jesus in His kingdom. “Jesus called them over and said to them, ‘You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles dominate them, and their men of high positions exercise power over them. But it must not be like that among you. On the contrary, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be a slave to all. For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many’” (Mark 10:42–45). In so many words, Jesus was teaching them that if you’re great in God’s kingdom, this world probably won’t even notice you!

Slave or Servant?

Jesus calls you great when you reject the world’s leadership style (v. 42). He also calls you great when your ministry is measured by the people you serve (v. 43). But there are two more points I’d like to draw out from this text related to what Jesus calls great. He also calls you great when you humble yourself and become the world’s slave (v. 44). We touched briefly on this point in our last post. The word is doulos in the original Greek language, and it can only be translated accurately as “slave” in English. So while the Holman version actually translates it “slave,” many translations choose to use the word “servant.” While they can be credited with sensitivity for choosing to translate the word as “servant” because the history of slavery in America is so repulsive and offensive, we probably ought not to change the word Jesus used.

The Humility of a Slave

He meant for us to take on the humility of a “slave” when it comes to our ministry and service. In this way, we actually serve like Jesus did: “Make your own attitude that of Christ Jesus,” the Apostle Paul wrote, “who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God as something to be used for His own advantage. Instead, He emptied Himself by assuming the form of a slave” (Philippians 2:5–11). In other words, Jesus didn’t use His title—God—as a big stick! In His incarnation, He took the form of a slave!

Suffering For Others

Finally, from Jesus’ words here, we discern that He calls you great when you give up your life to suffer for others (v. 45). Even Jesus suffered for others willingly, all the way to the cross! He served till it hurt—till it killed Him! And you image Jesus when you live your life similarly! That’s probably not going to get you a fancy title or the corner office in a big corporation, but it will get you a “Well done, good and faithful servant” from Jesus! You may have noticed that the focus in this post was not on spiritual gifts. The reason is that the greater emphasis in Scripture is on heart attitude toward ministry rather than giftedness or knowledge. Jesus emphasizes humility over giftedness, and power is never said to be in our gifts but in the Holy Spirit. So, how will you respond to the needs around you?

Is Every Believer A Disciple?

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What Does Scripture Teach?

The Church, here in the West, has often made a distinction between a “believer” in Jesus Christ and a “disciple” of Jesus Christ. It’s a distinction, however, that Scripture fails to make—that you can be a saved “believer” and live your entire life for yourself. That, if you desire, you can become a “disciple” and live out your days as a “super saint” for Jesus. Nowhere in Scripture does Jesus say anything even close to that. If you abide in Jesus, you will produce the fruit of a disciple. That’s the outcome of genuine faith.

Grape Vines Produce Grapes

There will always be fruit where there is genuine faith. It’s as natural as a grapevine producing grapes. That’s what grapevines do. And there is fruit that is naturally produced by God’s Spirit in the life of every genuine believer who abides in Jesus. In fact, that’s exactly what Jesus says. Fruitfulness is the proof that you’re a “believer” and a “disciple.” “If anyone does not abide in Me,” Jesus said, “he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be My disciples” (John 15:6–8). We bring glory to God when our lives produce fruit because it proves that He’s saved us. The proof is in the fruit.

Love, Joy & Obedience

Then Jesus expands on that in the next several verses (vv. 9–17). Fruitfulness, He says, is measured by our love, our obedience, and our joy. “This is My commandment,” Jesus said, “that you love one another as I have loved you.” Loving others isn’t an option for anyone claiming to be a follower of Jesus. If there’s no love, it’s because there is no spiritual life. Where there’s no love, there’s no “abiding in Jesus.” “You are My friends,” He said, “if you do what I command you.” We cannot pick and choose what we’re going to obey in God’s Word. Disobedience isn’t an option. If we truly abide in Christ, we’ll repent when we disobey and realign our lives accordingly with the Scriptures. And there will be joy in your life—“These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.” Our joy is linked to a genuine relationship with Jesus Christ. It’s not circumstantial.

Even When Life Is Hard

Abiding in Christ produces joy. Even when the rest of life derails, our joy is centered in Jesus. All those grumpy, mean-spirited haters out there who claim to be followers of Jesus must have missed that Scripture—or they don’t really abide in Christ. This text presents a clear case that God the Father won’t stand idle while His children act up. He will prune: “Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit” (John 15:2). He will discipline His own. He will spank. But He doesn’t spank the devil’s kids. Our response to His discipline will either confirm or deny that our “faith” is legitimate. We will confess sin and let His Spirit clean house.

Is God Pruning You?

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Pruning Produces More Fruit

My parents used to grow grapes, and there were times when they had to cut away the dead branches that produced no grapes. But they also cut back “living” branches so the vine would use its resources to produce more fruit—grapes. In the timeline of John 15, Jesus is preparing His disciples for life after His death, resurrection, and ascension. He begins with these words: “I am the true vine, and My Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in Me that does not bear fruit He takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit He prunes, that it may bear more fruit” (vv. 1–2).

Things To Come

As you move through the rest of the chapter, Jesus tells them that two things will come after His departure. First, He says there will be defections from inside the faith—or inside the church body. People who claimed to be followers of Jesus will walk away from the faith. They’ll quit. It’s not for them. And second, Jesus tells them there will be persecution from the outside—bogus faith inside the church and suffering from the outside. He uses the metaphor of a vine, a branch, and the fruit produced to illustrate the difference between a true disciple of Jesus and a fraud. Jesus is the vine. The Father is the vinedresser. And there are two different kinds of branches here—one that bears no fruit, and the Father removes it; and the other that produces fruit, and the Father prunes it so that it produces more fruit.

Responding To God’s Pruning

So here’s the bottom line: it is our response to God’s pruning that proves what kind of branch we are. Are you a dead branch that produces no fruit, or a living, healthy branch that responds to the painful process of pruning by producing more fruit? Let’s talk about some of the points that Jesus makes about fruitfulness through His use of the metaphor of the vine and the branches. First, He clearly indicates that fruitfulness is expected from every genuine disciple of Jesus. In the first three verses of John 15, He says that if you don’t bear fruit, it’s because you’re “not abiding” in the vine. In other words, you’re not “in Christ.” So what kind of fruit should we expect to see growing in the life of a follower of Jesus? While several passages answer that question, perhaps none do so better than Galatians 5.

The Fruit of the Spirit

The Apostle Paul, inspired by God’s Holy Spirit, wrote the church of Galatia to tell them that the indwelling Spirit will produce fruit in their lives that looks like this: “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also keep in step with the Spirit” (vv. 22–24). That’s some of the low-hanging fruit that’s produced by those who belong to Jesus. The Spirit produces it. If you’re a believer, Jesus invested His life in you, and He expects a return—or fruit—from His investment. We’ll come back to this next week!
 

The Fruit God Produces In You

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The Evidence Is The Fruit

Everyone who is “in Christ” will evidence the fruit of that relationship. Jesus is the vine, and we are the branches! So, if you don’t bear fruit, it’s because you’re “not abiding in the vine,” He said. Let’s take some time to consider what kind of fruit is expected to be growing in our lives if we belong to Him. Besides Galatians 5, which speaks to the fruit the indwelling Holy Spirit produces in us, there is also an expectation that our lives will produce the fruit of winning others to Jesus.

The Fruit of Disciple-Making

In John 4, Jesus said, “Do not say, ‘There are yet four months, and then comes the harvest.’ I tell you, lift up your eyes and see how the fields are already white for harvest. He who reaps receives wages and gathers fruit for eternal life, so that sower and reaper may rejoice together.” Does your life reveal the fruit of disciple-making? Jesus also said, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments” (John 14:15). So, we would expect to see the fruit of obedience in the life of someone who claims to be a follower of Jesus Christ.

The Fruit of Obedience

If our faith is genuine, the indwelling Holy Spirit will be at work in us—pointing out all the areas of our lives that we still need to bring into obedience to the Word of God. In John 15, Jesus refers to the Father as the vinedresser (v.1), and He adds that God will remove you from the vine if there’s no life in you. In v.6 He says you will be thrown into the fire! Jesus taught the same truth in His parable about the wheat and the tares in Matthew 13. The “tares” looked like wheat, but they were frauds. They were weeds, and at the harvest they will be separated from the genuine wheat and burned up. That pictures judgment for everyone who claims to be Jesus’ disciple but has no fruit to evidence that claim. Just as the owner of a vineyard expects fruit, so God expects every one of us who genuinely abides in Christ to produce fruit! He saved us on account of His great name and for His great purpose—that He might gather a people to Himself for all eternity who belong to Him. Jesus Christ “invested” His life in you, and He expects a “return” on that investment.

Jesus Chose You

Consider what Jesus said: “You did not choose me,” Jesus said, “but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide” (John 15:16). It’s fruitfulness, He says, that evidences real faith! If your life is absent from fruit, you would do well to examine yourself against the Scriptures to see if your faith is the real thing. Please consider Jesus’ words carefully and with all sobriety. This is “life or death” because fruitfulness is always the result of abiding in Christ. If there is no fruit of the Spirit, if there is no fruit or passion to make disciples, if there is no fruit of obedience—it may be because you do not abide in Jesus, nor does He abide in you. The church here in the West has made a distinction between a “believer” and a “disciple,” a distinction that is not endorsed by Scripture. We’ll get into that in next week’s post!

The Prayer of Repentance

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Once Upon A Time

“The Parable of the Ducks”— Once upon a time there was a town where only ducks lived. Every Sunday the ducks waddled out of their houses and down Main Street to their Duck Church. They waddled in and sat down in their proper seats. The Duck Choir would waddle in and take their place, and the Duck Pastor would waddle forward and open his Duck Bible. Then he’d read to them: “Ducks! God has given you wings! With wings you can fly! With wings you can mount up and soar like eagles! No walls can confine you! No fences can hem you in! You have wings, so FLY!” All the ducks would shout, “Amen!” And then they would all waddle home!

When Sin Invades

The moral of the story? Once sin invades our life, it cripples our ability to live the Christian life the way God intended for us to live it; and until we repent of our sin, we’ll “waddle” through this life even though God has ENABLED us to “FLY” IN CHRIST! Before his ascension to the throne of Israel—and for much of his early reign—King David was a man of moral integrity. But somewhere he began to take himself too seriously, and pride began to crowd out the voice of God’s Spirit in his life, and he began to lose his way spiritually. The tragic events leading up to King David’s most memorable sinful gaffe are found in 2 Samuel 11.

David’s Tragic Gaffe

It began “in the spring,” verse 1 says, “when kings march out to war.” It was customary for kings to march out to war with their soldiers to inspire them. But David decided to indulge himself at home while his soldiers set up camp in an open field. “David sent Joab,” the text says, “with his officers and all Israel. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah, but David remained in Jerusalem.” That decision proved to be a dreadful mistake for David. One evening, while out for a stroll on the roof of his palace, he saw something he never would have been exposed to had he marched to war with his men. A woman was cleansing herself. She was a beautiful woman, according to verse 2, and David decided he wanted her. So, he sent messengers to find out who she was—she was the wife of one of his soldiers, Uriah—and that should have ended it! She was another man’s wife! But David sent for her and slept with her.

The Big Cover-Up

It was supposed to be a one-night fling for the king, but she became pregnant. Then he orchestrated a cover-up that ended in her husband Uriah’s death. But God was displeased with what David had done, so He sent Nathan the prophet to expose King David’s sin and to inform him that the son Uriah’s wife would bear would die. It’s at that point that the Scriptures allow us to peer in on King David to see what a prayer of repentance looks like. What we learn is that repentant prayer reopens communication with God that sin had closed. I’m confident that David’s sin didn’t begin with Uriah’s wife. When the big sin shows up, there’s always a trail of little sins leading up to it. And David repented for all of it.
 

How Pain Brings Us To Our Knees

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Does God Really Love Us?

We are tempted to ask how it is that God could truly love us if He allows us to suffer through painful experiences. In fact, it is because He loves us that He choreographs pain and suffering into our lives. Let me explain. It is not our natural tendency to seek closer fellowship with God when our lives are filled with blessings attached to this world. No — it is our tendency to stray from God when life is good! We become more comfortable leaning on this world’s blessings for our daily support. So God — in His love and sovereign grace — places a “wake-up call,” in the form of a painful experience, in front of us. He shakes us back to reality with something that refocuses our attention on Him, forcing us to our knees in prayer.

Our Greatest Satisfaction

He does this because He knows that nothing will ever offer us greater satisfaction than a Spirit-filled relationship with Him. All of this world’s goods and services are but cheap substitutes for a walk with God. If you follow the narrative from the first chapter in the book of Acts, you’ll see 120 disciples waiting in an upper room in Jerusalem for the promised Holy Spirit. Then, in chapter 2, the Spirit comes to indwell and fill the believers so they would have the supernatural power of the Spirit to obey Jesus’ commission to take the gospel to every people group and disciple them. Immediately, God begins to use them in His supernatural work as 3,000 were saved and became disciples that day — and then more and more were added!

Comfortable and Complacent

But as you read the next few chapters, it seems the church becomes complacent and comfortable with their success, and God’s work begins to slow down. So God, in His sovereignty, brought persecution. Stephen is stoned. Then James is killed, and Peter is imprisoned. It’s this crisis of faith that unsettled them, and they returned to their knees in prayer. They were humbled. They got back to biblical prayer. They expressed their helplessness and total dependence on God’s power to see Peter released from prison: “So Peter was kept in prison, but prayer was being made earnestly to God for him by the church.” — Acts 12:5. In the verses that follow, God sends an angel to spring Peter from prison (vv. 6–11).

The Lost Confronted By Answered Prayer

There’s another prayer principle that God reveals to us through His answered prayer to release Peter from incarceration: God will use a mighty display of His power to confront the lost with their sin. King Herod had imprisoned Peter and assumed he had more power than he actually had. But God says, “No, Herod — your plans to kill Peter won’t work!” Someone once said, “We make our plans, and God laughs.” I love that! Don’t lose heart, church. It may appear the world is out of control, but God hasn’t lost it. In His sovereign timing, He will display His power again and confront the lost with their need for repentance. So let’s get the bigger picture when we find ourselves in a painful place. Don’t pray that God will take it away — He may be doing a special work in your life or in the life of someone watching. Trust His plans!
 

There Is Freedom In God’s Sovereignty

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Trust Him With Your Pain

I’ve used my last few posts to take a deeper look at the prayer life of Hannah from 1 Samuel, chapter 1. We’ve considered how God used her God-honoring prayers to heal her brokenness. She learned to pray with a view toward God’s sovereignty over every painful situation in life. I can’t overemphasize how important that was to Hannah’s spiritual formation. Until you can pray — about everything — with a view toward God’s sovereignty, and with an acceptance of your painful circumstances — even when you don’t have the answer to your “why” questions — you’ll be susceptible to a bitter heart. You’ll be in danger of turning yourself into God’s judge.

Motivated By God’s Glory

Until you can pray with a motivation for God’s glory alone, your pain and suffering will eat you up. Let me share with you a Facebook post that one of our members shared after hearing this message in church: “The sovereignty of God is the pillow I lay my head upon. I have finally come to that conclusion; thus, I can sleep at night. God is in control, and I can trust His decisions for this journey my family and I are on now. He will get us through, and even if things don’t go as planned, if we are truly His, one day things will get better — if not in this lifetime, in Heaven… I finally get God’s sovereignty! I get it.” Can you hear the freedom expressed in that statement?

Trust His Character

When you finally grasp God’s sovereignty, it’s a doctrine that offers great freedom — in part because of God’s character. He reveals Himself in Scripture as loving, gracious, merciful, and benevolent toward us. Furthermore, He is just and righteous in all His ways. We can trust Him. We can trust that His sovereign entry into the corners of our lives will always, ultimately, be for our good and for His glory. But you must accept these revelations of Himself by faith. Then let Him be God. Hannah experienced the freedom of God’s sovereignty over all her circumstances. And because she was motivated to see God glorified through her circumstances, she could leave it all in God’s more-than-capable hands. 1 Samuel 1:18 says, “…Then Hannah went on her way; she ate and no longer looked despondent.”

Truth Changes Us

That line was the greatest indicator that she had left her painful circumstances in God’s hands. Remember, back in verse 7, Hannah had grown so despondent that she wouldn’t eat. Her husband became concerned: “Why won’t you eat?” But when she submitted to God’s sovereign plan, “…she ate and no longer looked despondent.” Truth changes us when we believe it. Previously, in her anguish, she had been misread as drunk by Eli the priest: “…No,” she said, “I am a woman with a broken heart… I’ve been pouring out my heart before the Lord…” (vv. 15–16). Praying through her pain had been messy for Hannah — until the Holy Spirit wrestled with her and calmed her troubled heart. One more lesson about prayer from Hannah: she offered praise when God answered! Take a good look at her words in the next chapter, verses 1–10.
 
 

What Do Your Prayers Look Like?

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Are You Willing To Be Honest?

Are you willing to take a good, hard look at your prayer life? What do your prayers consist of? Are they consumed with requests? Are they filled with pleas for God to change your circumstances—make your life easier, help you earn more money at your job, or provide a new job altogether? What if none of that is God’s will for your life? Have you ever considered that? Have you ever considered that, for reasons beyond your ability to comprehend, it might not be God’s will to heal the person you’re praying for? Have you considered that, in God’s eternal plans for His glory and your good, it might not be His will for you to get the job you’ve always wanted?

The Proper Motive For Prayer

The only proper motive for prayer is God’s will. In Jesus’ model prayer, He taught His disciples to pray, “…your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10). Perhaps the implication is that, rather than praying for God to change our circumstances, we ought to pray that God would use the circumstances to change us. Not until after Jesus taught the disciples to pray for God’s will does He turn His attention to praying for their individual needs. Only after submitting to God’s will in prayer does He teach them to pray, “…give us today our daily bread” (Matthew 6:11). There is so much we could say about the simplicity of that prayer request: just give us what we need today. That’s it. Don’t borrow tomorrow’s trouble. Just ask for the Father’s provision today—and leave it there.

God Already Knows What We Need

Earlier in the same text, Jesus said, “When you pray, don’t babble like the idolaters, since they imagine they’ll be heard for their many words. Don’t be like them, because your Father knows the things you need before you ask Him” (Matthew 6:7). Don’t babble lengthy prayers about your needs, Jesus said, because the Father already knows. Then Jesus turns His attention to praying for others. Again, this is a model prayer. “When you pray, pray like this,” He said. “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). In other words, pray that God would forgive you in the same way that you forgive others. Be so thankful for the Father’s forgiveness that you forgive others in the same way He forgave you—totally, completely.

God’s Absolute Forgiveness

There is nothing anyone has ever done to you that could compare to the quantity and level of depravity with which you’ve sinned against God. And yet, He forgave you. It’s not until we are truly thankful for His absolute forgiveness that we are truly able to forgive others. After He finished teaching the disciples how to pray, He shared these sobering words with them: “For if you forgive people their wrongdoing, your heavenly Father will forgive you as well. But if you don’t forgive people, your Father will not forgive your wrongdoing” (Matthew 6:14–15). In essence, He’s telling them to take a hard look at themselves. If they’re unable to forgive others, it’s evidence that they may never have been forgiven themselves.
 

Prayer Is Not Counseling God

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We Don’t Know What’s Best

I’m afraid that many people treat prayer as their opportunity to counsel God on certain matters. We ought never to pray like we’re trying to convince God that we know what’s best—as if the eternal, all-wise God, who knows the end from the beginning and everything in between, needs our advice for anything! His eternal plans for creation were already laid out before the world began. The writer of Acts reminds us: “The God who made the world and everything in it—He is Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in shrines made by hands. Neither is He served by human hands, as though He needed anything, since He Himself gives everyone life and breath and all things.” —Acts 17:24–27

God Doesn’t Need Our Counsel

When it comes to prayer, let’s get one thing straight: GOD DOESN’T NEED ANYTHING… INCLUDING OUR COUNSEL! He didn’t create us because of some deficiency, hoping that we could fix Him. There’s a clear, underlying message in Jesus’ response to His disciples’ question: “Lord, teach us to pray.” God doesn’t need us—we need Him! According to Jesus’ response in Matthew 6, prayer is to be GOD-CENTERED. “Pray like this,” He says, and He begins with the “Father,” not with us. By the way, He didn’t tell them to memorize it and repeat it mindlessly—“Our Father, who art in heaven…blah, blah, blah.” He said, “…pray like this.” This is how we’re supposed to pray—it’s Jesus’ model prayer.

Don’t Try Twisting God’s Arm

Rather than making prayer our attempt to twist God’s arm over something we want Him to do, prayer should begin with a focus on God the Father. Start your conversation with the Creator of the universe by honoring Him for His character. Praise Him for who He is! Don’t rush into His presence like your schedule is what matters—“Here’s my grocery list of needs, God! Will You go shopping for me?” Show Him reverence when you pray. You’re entering the throne room of Heaven! God transcends far above anything on your agenda. There’s an order here: Your kingdom first, Father! Our greatest desire should be that God’s name is hallowed, admired, and cherished. And He’s “our” Father too, Jesus says. Never get over that great doctrine of adoption—that God has birthed us into His family!

We Become His Children

Though we were born children of wrath because of our sin, He adopts us into His family in Christ. We’re FAMILY! Depend on Him like He’s family—because He is! We’re brothers, sisters, and joint-heirs with Jesus Himself. Then Jesus models prayer by moving from the Father’s character to His KINGDOM: “Your kingdom come. Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” —Matthew 6:10 So, pray like this, Jesus says—pray for the Father’s KINGDOM and for His WILL. If we’re praying like Jesus taught us to pray, our primary concern will be for the Father’s glory and the advancement of His kingdom. Our prayers will be GOD-CENTERED. Take note of the things you pray for. Are your prayers motivated by your dreams and goals, or by God’s eternal kingdom, His will, and His plans? Mature believers pray for God’s will above their own.

Children That Please God

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Scripture Speaks To Children

I find it interesting that in his letter to the Colossian church, Paul speaks directly to children: “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” — Colossians 3:20. In a section of Scripture devoted to family issues, Paul expects children to read and adhere to his admonition. And if obedience to parents pleases the Lord, we can infer from that that God is not pleased with children who disobey their parents. Yes, He still loves them—but He’s not pleased with them!

Disobedience Produces A Hard Life

I used to tell our kids, “Hey, I’ve figured out how to never get in trouble with your parents! If you never disobey them, you’ll never get in trouble with them!” I would often remind them, “The way of the transgressor is hard!” If Paul were writing a letter to your kids today, I think he’d say something like this: “Your life is going to be hard if you insist on disobeying your parents. Why put yourself through that? Disobedience produces a hard life because your parents are always on you—and God is not pleased with you! So, OBEY! Your life will be much easier!” Jesus set the example of obedience—both to His Heavenly Father and to His earthly father.

Attitude Originates In The Heart

Obedience is a matter of the heart. It’s not just about obeying outwardly—your body language can show disrespect even if you did what you were told! Grumbling, rolling your eyes, shrugging your shoulders, stomping off, banging doors, sassing, arguing, justifying your behavior by making excuses, rationalizing with a “Jimmy’s mom doesn’t make him do that…”—all point to a disobedient attitude of the heart. And to delay is the same as disobedience! When Paul wrote on the same topic to the Ephesian church, he told them that honoring your parents will earn a reward of long life. Put the two together—HONOR your parents by OBEYING them!

Fathers Are Significant

Back to his letter to the Colossians—Paul also pointed out that fathers play a significant part in raising children who please God: “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so they won’t become discouraged.” — Colossians 3:21. I don’t believe that Paul is suggesting Mom has no responsibility in raising children; rather, he’s calling out Dad for his headship in the home. He’s to be the family shepherd and leader.

Don’t Crush Your Child’s Spirit

Dad needs to be the leader when it comes to voluntarily loving his wife sacrificially (as we noted in our previous post). And he needs to step up his leadership when it comes to training the children. Don’t exasperate your children, Dad—or you’ll discourage them. You’ll crush their spirit. That’s what it means to discourage them. Don’t make promises you don’t keep. Don’t change your mind without a very good reason. Don’t withhold compliments. Give them credit for the good things they do—for the times they’re obedient. They’ll remember it forever. But they’ll also remember when you fail to compliment them for a job well done. Love them unconditionally, Mom and Dad—and give them room to grow.