Tag Archives: Woman

A Mother’s Effective Prayer

Posted on by
Reply

You Don’t Have To Be Superman

Why is it our human tendency to think that good Christians must not have any problems? Maybe it’s because we come to church and see all the smiling faces, and we assume they must have it all together. Or maybe we’ve heard too many sermons on the abundant Christian life, and we assume there’s some secret formula we have yet to discover. If we can just find it, then the Christian life will become effortless, and temptations will bounce off us like bullets off Superman!

What About Pain & Suffering?

I have a well-intentioned Christian friend who called me several times over the three-year period when I dealt with cancer, surgeries, and chemo. He told me it wasn’t God’s will that I had cancer because I was a pastor and a “good man.” And yet, I told him, “I have cancer.” None of us are immune to pain, suffering, sickness, heartache, or loss. Job is the poster child for pain and suffering, and yet Scripture’s testimony of Job was that, “…He was a man of perfect integrity, who feared God and turned away from evil” (Job 1:1, 8). He was a righteous man who endured some of the worst pain and suffering in the history of mankind. Job’s commentary on pain and suffering was that, “…mankind is born for trouble as surely as sparks fly upward” (Job 5:7). And so, it ought not to surprise us that trouble afflicts the righteous as well as the ungodly.

Look It Up In Your Bible

If you have doubts about that, check it out for yourself. Research the Bible, starting at the very beginning, and see how many of God’s faithful followers endured significant pain and loss in this life. Eventually, you’ll come to Hannah’s story in 1 Samuel 1. Her story is intertwined with that of her husband and his second wife: “There was a man from Ramathaim-zophim in the hill country of Ephraim. His name was Elkanah… He had two wives, the first named Hannah and the second Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah was childless” (1 Samuel 1:1–2).So, there was the rub—she was childless. But to make matters worse, her husband’s other wife had children and taunted her because of it. The next few verses point out her pain—she wept, she wouldn’t eat, she was deeply hurt.

Don’t Try To Counsel God

Look at this: “…the Lord had kept her from conceiving. Her rival would taunt her severely just to provoke her, because the Lord had kept Hannah from conceiving. Whenever she went up to the Lord’s house, her rival taunted her in this way every year.” So Hannah wept. The text says: “…and she would not eat… deeply hurt… Hannah prayed to the LORD and wept with many tears. Making a vow, she pleaded, ‘Lord of Hosts, if You will take notice of Your servant’s affliction, remember and not forget me, and give Your servant a son, I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life…’” (1 Samuel 1:5–11). Notice—she didn’t take matters into her own hands. She prayed. We all have more in common with Hannah’s childlessness than we may think. And we need to respond, like Hannah, by taking all our pain to the only One who can fix it.
 

A Distinctly Christ-Centered Home (Part I)

Posted on by
Reply

It Starts With Communication

I’m quite sure that everyone would agree that communication plays a huge part in family relationships! I heard of a man and wife who had only a dog that they loved like a child. One day, the wife headed out on a business trip, and when she got to her destination, she called home to check in with her husband. “How are things going?” she asked. His reply was shocking: “The dog’s dead.” “What?” she asked. “Why would you just come right out and say it like that? That’s devastating! Couldn’t you have told me that news a little differently? I’m miles from home, and you just blurt it out there—‘the dog’s dead.’” “Well, I don’t know how else to say it,” he responded. “I mean, he’s dead!” “Well,” she said, “you could have broken the news to me in stages.” “Like, what do you mean?” he asked. “Well, when I first called, you could have told me the dog fell off the roof. Then, when I checked in later, you might have said you had to take the dog to the animal hospital and he wasn’t doing well. The next day, you might have told me to sit down and brace myself—our darling dog has passed away! You could have done it like that so I could have handled it better.” “Okay, I get it,” he said. “I’m sorry! I’ll try to do better next time.” “Okay, thanks, honey,” she said. “I just needed to clear that up. So, how is my mother?” There was a pause. “She’s on the roof!” While that story may or may not have a whole lot to do with a distinctly Christ-centered home, I thought it was worth the chuckle it might generate.

A Uniquely Distinct Home

So let me begin this series of posts with the following statement—the life of a Christian husband and wife will be uniquely distinct from the marriages of the world! If you intend to follow Jesus, you need to settle that in your heart! The world will think us crazy, but that’s the world’s wisdom. Always remember: “The foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom” (1 Corinthians 1:25). As long as we live by “the Book,” our worldview will never be accepted by the unbelieving crowd. We need to be okay with that! Don’t be abrasive about it. Always be kind and respectful when sharing your position. Just know that your view will be rejected.

Your Life As A Christian Wife

According to the Holy Spirit of God, who inspired Peter to write these words, your life as a Christian wife will be marked by submission to your own husband: “In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the Christian message, they may be won over without a message by the way their wives live” (1 Peter 3:1). Ladies, you’ll make no friends with the “Women’s Movement” if submission marks your relationship with your husband—but you will be a friend of God! That word “submit”—in the original Greek language—means to submit voluntarily to your husband’s lead. And notice how significant that could be in an unbelieving husband’s life. If your husband is disobedient to God, God may use your obedience to win your husband over to the Lord! (PART II Next Week)

When Good Sex Goes Bad

Posted on by
Reply

When It Happens Outside Of Marriage

According to God—who, by the way, created sex—healthy sex only happens within a marriage between a man and a woman. The Word of God warns us about the consequences of sexual conduct outside the safety of marriage. All other sexual activities are spiritually unhealthy because they involve disobedience to God and His Word. Additionally, they can also lead to physical and emotional harm. The effects often create a ripple effect, negatively impacting families and future generations.

Messing Up People’s Lives

When your sex life doesn’t align with Scripture, it can impact not just you but many others as well. Here’s something to consider, especially if you feel like you’ve already made too many mistakes—that you’re beyond hope. Maybe you grew up in a worldly environment and were never taught these biblical truths. Or perhaps you heard them but believed you were clever enough to outsmart ‘the system,’ so you experimented with sex and are now facing the consequences. The good news is that, thanks to Jesus’ work on the cross, you are not beyond redemption! 

Good News For Those Who Messed Up

The Gospel is good news for every sinner, regardless of the sin! We serve a God who brings beauty from ashes. Through the cross, there is forgiveness and restoration. So, don’t hide behind your sin any longer—confess it so you may be healed (James 5:16). From this day forward, stand firmly on the foundation of God’s Word when it comes to your sexual purity. God’s Word alone provides the flawless counsel needed to build healthy marriages. In 1 Corinthians, the Apostle Paul shares several truths about sexuality as directed by God: “It is good for a man not to have relations with a woman. But because sexual immorality is so common, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband… I say the following as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all people were just like me. But each has his own gift from God—one person in this way and another in that way. I say to the unmarried and to widows: It is good for them if they remain as I am.” (1 Corinthians 7:1, 6-8)

Is Celibacy A Gift?

What Paul is advocating here is celibacy. He appears to suggest that celibacy is a gift from God given to certain individuals. So, if the idea of living a celibate life seems impossible for you, it likely means that you do not have that particular gift. I intentionally use the word celibacy instead of singleness because celibacy more accurately describes what Paul is referring to—complete abstinence from all sexual relations. In contrast, our modern culture tends to favor the term singleness, often associating it with a lack of relational or sexual boundaries. It’s seen as a lifestyle of ‘Sex and the City’ or ‘friends with benefits,’ making it a poor reflection of what Paul is actually addressing. When Paul says, ‘It is good for a man not to have relations with a woman‘ (v.1), he is using it as a euphemism for sexual intercourse—which is confirmed by the context of verse 2. Therefore, celibacy is not only a legitimate option but a good and honorable gift from God.
 

God’s Glory Over Our Justification

Posted on by
Reply

He Alone Gets Glory For Our Faith

When the Apostle Paul wrote his letter to the church of Ephesus, he made it clear from the start that God alone must receive the glory for anyone’s salvation! From the beginning of salvation, through our justification, until its completion at our glorification, and everything in between during our sanctification in the present—all of it is God’s work, for which He is to receive glory! “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,” Paul began, “who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavens. For He chose us in Him, before the foundation of the world, to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love, He predestined us to be adopted through Jesus Christ for Himself, according to His favor and will, to the praise of His glorious grace that He favored us with in the Beloved” (Ephesians 1:3–6). 

To The Praise Of His Glorious Grace

That phrase, “…to the praise of His glorious grace…” is actually translated, “…to the praise of the glory of His grace…” in the NKJV. In other words, God is glorified through our justification. He is glorified as He justifies us! It isn’t anything that we do— He justifies us! He saves us from the penalty of our sin! That’s what it means to be justified in God’s sight. Our sin legally condemns us to death, but when Jesus became the substitutionary atonement on our behalf, God could legally remove the death penalty we deserved because Jesus died in our place. And clearly, Paul intends for us to understand that our justification was God’s work alone. 

God Chose Us Before Creation

No doubt drawing from Jesus’ words—“…You did not choose Me, but I chose you…”—Paul confirmed that “…He chose us before the foundation of the world…” (v.4). Think of that! Let those words sink in. Feel the weight of that statement! Before the world was created, before you were created, God had already chosen you if you’re a believer! “He predestined us to be adopted…” (v.5). It’s because He chose us & He predestined us to be saved before we were created that all boasting or credit we might take for our faith is removed. One of the most significant aspects of marriage is that, from that day, a woman is called by a new name— her name changed because the groom loves her!  

Called By A New Name

The groom loves her and invites her to take on a new identity as his wife. One of the most significant aspects of accepting Jesus as Savior is the fact that, from that day on, we’re called by a new name! Jesus loves us and invites us to take on a new identity. We’re no longer called a “sinner” but a “saint,” His “bride,” His “church.” Throughout Scripture, there are many examples where God changed the names of His people—He changed Abram, meaning “high father,” to Abraham, meaning “father of a multitude of nations.” He changed Sarai, meaning “argumentative,” to Sarah, meaning “princess.” He changed Simon, meaning “he has heard,” to Peter, meaning “the rock.” There are many more if you look into it! When God justifies us, He gives us a new name to signify a changed life, and He does it all for His glory.

Broken Relationships!

Posted on by
Reply

-The Way Of The Transgressor!

During the early years, of my kid’s lives, I often quoted one verse of Scripture, to them, more than any other. It was from the Old King James version; and, I quoted it whenever they had gotten themselves into some kind of trouble. It’s Proverbs 13:15; and, it says “…the way of the transgressor is HARD.” Many times I gave them no additional words of correction! I just shook my head & repeated those words, “…the way of the transgressor is HARD.” It means that there are consequences for sin & disobedience! Sin is HARD! Sinful actions reap painful, cruel results!

-Hard Circumstances!

And, my wife and I would speak to our kids from our own experiences. We’ve experienced the hard circumstances of transgressing against the Word of God. Nothing good ever comes from disobedience to God! Never! Only pain and suffering! And, one of the most painful circumstances we endure is the broken “relationships” that lay scattered in the wake of our sinful conduct. Some relationships will never be reconciled because the damage is perceived as being too severe.

-The Toxicity Of Sin!

The Scriptures, from its early chapters in Genesis, with Adam & Eve’s sin, expose the toxicity sin brings to our human relationships. Just flip back to Genesis chapter 3 for a moment. God confronts them after their sin; and, demands an explanation for their disobedience.  “What is this you’ve done,” God asks Eve in v.13. And, Eve shifts blame, “It was the serpent.” She avoids the question. God asked her, “…what have YOU done…” And, she shifts blame to the serpent. But, she wasn’t the 1st person to shift blame! She had just heard her husband, Adam, respond to God’s question, “It was the woman YOU gave me— she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate.”

-The Ultimate Blame Shift!

Did you catch that? Who is Adam ultimately blaming? GOD, right? He shifts blame to God, “…the woman YOU gave me…” So, Adam & Eve’s relationship, with God, is broken! And, their marital bliss also came to a very abrupt end because of their sin. In outlining the curse, because of sin, God told Eve v.16, “…your desire will be for your husband, yet he will RULE over you…” Sin would forever mar their relationship; and, though God, by His indwelling Holy Spirit, will work to sanctify our marriages, it’ll require work & great effort to overcome the harmful effects of our sin.

-What A Nightmare!

And, what a nightmare, that we pass our sinful nature on to our children, who in turn, make many of the same sinful decisions we made; and, also make up a few of their own. We read, in Genesis chapter 4, of the tragic history of humanity’s 1st murder; and, incredibly, it happened within the family, as one brother (Cain) murdered his brother (Abel).  We bear, as the human race, the consequences of our sinful natures. You can try & deny it or ignore it; but, “…be sure about it, your sin will catch up with you” Numbers 32:23. Also, “…don’t be deceived: God is not mocked. For whatever a man sows he will also reap” Galatians 6:7. Why? Because “…the way of the transgressor is HARD.” Only God can fix the mess we’ve made!

 

A Mother’s Effective Prayer!

Posted on by
Reply

-You Don’t Have To Be Superman!

Why is it our human tendency to think that good Christians must not have any problems? Maybe it’s because we come to church and we see all the smiling faces & we assume they must have it all together Or, maybe we’ve heard too many sermons on the abundant Christian life; and, we assume there’s some secret formula we have yet to discover! And, if we can just find it that the Christian life will become effortless; and, temptations will just bounce off us like bullets off of Superman!

-What About Pain & Suffering?

I have a well-intended Christian friend who called me several times over the 3-year period when I dealt with cancer & surgeries & chemo. He told me it wasn’t God’s will that I had cancer because I was a Pastor & a “good man”; and, “yet,” I told him, “I have cancer.” None of us are immune to pain, suffering, sickness, heartache or loss! Job is the poster child for pain & suffering; and, yet, scripture’s testimony of Job was that, “…He was a man of perfect integrity, who feared God and turned away from evil…” Job 1:1,8.  He was a righteous man who endured some of the worst pain & suffering in the history of mankind.  Job’s commentary, on pain & suffering, was that, “…mankind is born for trouble as surely as sparks fly upward” Job 5:7.  And, so, it ought not surprise us that trouble afflicts the righteous as well as the ungodly.

-Look It Up In Your Bible!

If you have doubts about that, check it out for yourself! Research the Bible, starting at the very beginning; and, see how many of God’s faithful followers endured significant pain & loss in this life. Eventually, you’ll come to Hannah’s story in 1st Samuel ch.1. Her story is intertwined with that of her husband & his 2nd wife.  “There was a man from Ramathaim-zophim in the hill country of Ephraim. His name was Elkanah… He had two wives, the first named Hannah and the second Peninnah. Peninnah had children, but Hannah was childless” 1 Samuel 1:1-2.  So, there was the rub— she was childless! But, to make matters worse, her husband’s other wife had children & taunted her because of it. The next few verses point out her pain— she wept; she wouldn’t eat; she was hurt deeply!

-How To Deal With Your Pain!

Look at this: “…the Lord had kept her from conceiving. Her rival would taunt her severely just to provoke her, because the Lord had kept Hannah from conceiving. Whenever she went up to the Lord’s house, her rival taunted her in this way every year.” So, Hannah wept, the test says, “…and she would not eat… deeply hurt… Hannah prayed to the LORD and wept with many tears. Making a vow, she pleaded, ‘Lord of Hosts, if You will take notice of Your servant’s affliction, remember and not forget me, and give Your servant a son, I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life…’” 1 Samuel 1:5-11.  Notice, she didn’t take matters into her own hands! She PRAYED! We all have more in common with Hannah’s childlessness than we may think. And, we need to respond, like Hannah, by taking all our pain to the only One who can fix it!

 

A Distinctly Christ-Centered Home!

Posted on by
Reply

-It’s Counter-Intuitive To The Majority Culture!

(PART II) In so many ways, keeping step with Jesus and Scripture is counter-intuitive to the majority culture! The culture will often tell a woman to divorce her husband if they don’t share the same values! But, the Apostle Peter’s Holy Spirit inspired words tell us that a husband, who is disobedient to the Lord, “…may be won over without a message by the way their wives live…” 1 Peter 3:1.  She doesn’t need to NAG! It’s possible that the Spirit can use her life, in such a dramatic way, that her husband may be “won over WITHOUT A MESSAGE.” She doesn’t need to PREACH at him!

-Internal Adornment & Beauty!

And, Peter builds on that point in the verses that follow:  “…when they observe your pure, reverent lives. Your beauty should not consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold ornaments or fine clothes. Instead, it should consist of what is inside the heart with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very valuable in God’s eyes” 1 Peter 3:2-4.  If you’re a wife, who’s a follower of Jesus, your life should be marked by an internal adornment and beauty! And, let’s be clear, Peter is not teaching that women should refrain from makeup and jewelry! What he’s saying is that your life should consist of more than the “paint” and “bling” on the outside! How shallow! Live pure & reverent lives, he says!

-Have A Beautiful Heart!

Focus on making your heart beautiful by yielding to God’s Word & his Spirit! Just because you CAN say something, doesn’t mean you should! Don’t give your husband a piece of your mind that you can’t afford to lose! My girls are familiar with a verse of Scripture that I often quoted to them:  “A beautiful woman without discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout” Proverbs 11:22.  Your hope ought to be placed in God’s Sovereignty—  “…in the past, holy women like Sarah PUT THEIR HOPE IN GOD as they submitted…” 1 Peter 3:5-6.  Go back and read the Genesis account of Abraham and Sarah’s life. It’s interesting that she was never present when God gave Abraham His instruction; but, she submitted to Abraham by putting her hope in God’s Sovereign control of the situation.  She let God work out the kinks in her husband’s head! She didn’t nag!

-Husband: Know Your Wife!

Let me finish by drawing your attention to Peter’s words, to the Christian husband: “Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives with an understanding of their weaker nature yet showing them honor as coheirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered” 1 Peter 3:7. Your life, as a husband who follows Jesus, will be marked by an understanding of your wife! Now, I know that some of you men, reading this, are laughing inside— “You really think we can ever understand a woman?” No, I don’t! And, this is a subject I have a really hard time preaching on because I personally stink at it so badly! But, what it seems Peter is saying, in part, is that “…AS you LIVE with your wife, gain an understanding of her…” Study your wife! What causes her tension & frustration? Serve her in those areas! Be a help to her!

 

A Distinctly Christ-Centered Home!

Posted on by
Reply

-It Starts With Communication!

(PART 1) I’m quite sure that everyone would agree that communication plays a huge part in family relationships! I heard of a man & wife, who had only a dog that they loved like a child. One day the wife headed out on a business trip; and, when she got to her destination she called home to check in with her husband. “How are things going?” she asked. His reply was shocking: “The dog’s dead.” “What,” she asked, “why would you just come right out and say it like that? That’s devastating! Couldn’t you have told me that news a little differently? I’m miles from home & you just blurt it out there, ‘the dog’s dead.’” “Well, I don’t know how else to say it,” he responded, “I mean he’s dead!” “Well,” she said, “you could have broke the news to me in stages.” “Like, what do you mean?” he asked. “Well, when I first called, you could have told me the dog fell off the roof; and, then when I check in later you might have said you had to take the dog to the animal hospital & he wasn’t doing well. The next day you might have told me to sit down & brace yourself; but, our darling dog has passed away! You could have done it like that so I could have handled it better.” “Ok, I get it,” he said, “I’m sorry! I’ll try & do better next time.” “Ok, thanks, honey” she said, “I just needed to clear that up! So, how is my mother?” There was a pause, “She’s on the roof!” While that story may or may not have an awful lot to do with a distinctly Christ-centered home, I thought it worth the chuckle it would generate.

-A Uniquely Distinct Home!

So, let me begin with this series of posts with the following statement—the life of a Christian husband & wife will be uniquely distinct from the marriages of the world! If you intend to follow Jesus, you need to settle that in your heart! The world will think us crazy; but, that’s the world’s wisdom & always remember: “The foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom” 1 Cor. 1:25. As long as we live by “the Book”, our world view will never be accepted by the unbelieving crowd. We need to be okay with that! Don’t be abrasive about it! Always be kind & respectful when sharing your position! Just know that your view will be rejected!

-Your Life As A Christian Wife!

According to the Holy Spirit, of God, who inspired Peter to write these words, your life as a Christian wife will be marked by a submission to your own husband. “In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the Christian message, they may be won over without a message by the way their wives live” 1 Peter 3:1.  Ladies, you’ll make no friends with the “Women’s Movement” if submission marks your relationship with your husband; but, you will be a friend of God! That word “submit”—in the original Greek language—means to submit “voluntarily” to your husbands lead. And, notice how significant that could play in an unbelieving husband’s life. If your husband is disobedient to God, God may use YOUR obedience to win your husband over to the Lord! (PART II Next Week)