Category Archives: Holy Spirit

The Prayer of Repentance

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Once Upon A Time

“The Parable of the Ducks”— Once upon a time there was a town where only ducks lived. Every Sunday the ducks waddled out of their houses and down Main Street to their Duck Church. They waddled in and sat down in their proper seats. The Duck Choir would waddle in and take their place, and the Duck Pastor would waddle forward and open his Duck Bible. Then he’d read to them: “Ducks! God has given you wings! With wings you can fly! With wings you can mount up and soar like eagles! No walls can confine you! No fences can hem you in! You have wings, so FLY!” All the ducks would shout, “Amen!” And then they would all waddle home!

When Sin Invades

The moral of the story? Once sin invades our life, it cripples our ability to live the Christian life the way God intended for us to live it; and until we repent of our sin, we’ll “waddle” through this life even though God has ENABLED us to “FLY” IN CHRIST! Before his ascension to the throne of Israel—and for much of his early reign—King David was a man of moral integrity. But somewhere he began to take himself too seriously, and pride began to crowd out the voice of God’s Spirit in his life, and he began to lose his way spiritually. The tragic events leading up to King David’s most memorable sinful gaffe are found in 2 Samuel 11.

David’s Tragic Gaffe

It began “in the spring,” verse 1 says, “when kings march out to war.” It was customary for kings to march out to war with their soldiers to inspire them. But David decided to indulge himself at home while his soldiers set up camp in an open field. “David sent Joab,” the text says, “with his officers and all Israel. They destroyed the Ammonites and besieged Rabbah, but David remained in Jerusalem.” That decision proved to be a dreadful mistake for David. One evening, while out for a stroll on the roof of his palace, he saw something he never would have been exposed to had he marched to war with his men. A woman was cleansing herself. She was a beautiful woman, according to verse 2, and David decided he wanted her. So, he sent messengers to find out who she was—she was the wife of one of his soldiers, Uriah—and that should have ended it! She was another man’s wife! But David sent for her and slept with her.

The Big Cover-Up

It was supposed to be a one-night fling for the king, but she became pregnant. Then he orchestrated a cover-up that ended in her husband Uriah’s death. But God was displeased with what David had done, so He sent Nathan the prophet to expose King David’s sin and to inform him that the son Uriah’s wife would bear would die. It’s at that point that the Scriptures allow us to peer in on King David to see what a prayer of repentance looks like. What we learn is that repentant prayer reopens communication with God that sin had closed. I’m confident that David’s sin didn’t begin with Uriah’s wife. When the big sin shows up, there’s always a trail of little sins leading up to it. And David repented for all of it.
 

How Pain Brings Us To Our Knees

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Does God Really Love Us?

We are tempted to ask how it is that God could truly love us if He allows us to suffer through painful experiences. In fact, it is because He loves us that He choreographs pain and suffering into our lives. Let me explain. It is not our natural tendency to seek closer fellowship with God when our lives are filled with blessings attached to this world. No — it is our tendency to stray from God when life is good! We become more comfortable leaning on this world’s blessings for our daily support. So God — in His love and sovereign grace — places a “wake-up call,” in the form of a painful experience, in front of us. He shakes us back to reality with something that refocuses our attention on Him, forcing us to our knees in prayer.

Our Greatest Satisfaction

He does this because He knows that nothing will ever offer us greater satisfaction than a Spirit-filled relationship with Him. All of this world’s goods and services are but cheap substitutes for a walk with God. If you follow the narrative from the first chapter in the book of Acts, you’ll see 120 disciples waiting in an upper room in Jerusalem for the promised Holy Spirit. Then, in chapter 2, the Spirit comes to indwell and fill the believers so they would have the supernatural power of the Spirit to obey Jesus’ commission to take the gospel to every people group and disciple them. Immediately, God begins to use them in His supernatural work as 3,000 were saved and became disciples that day — and then more and more were added!

Comfortable and Complacent

But as you read the next few chapters, it seems the church becomes complacent and comfortable with their success, and God’s work begins to slow down. So God, in His sovereignty, brought persecution. Stephen is stoned. Then James is killed, and Peter is imprisoned. It’s this crisis of faith that unsettled them, and they returned to their knees in prayer. They were humbled. They got back to biblical prayer. They expressed their helplessness and total dependence on God’s power to see Peter released from prison: “So Peter was kept in prison, but prayer was being made earnestly to God for him by the church.” — Acts 12:5. In the verses that follow, God sends an angel to spring Peter from prison (vv. 6–11).

The Lost Confronted By Answered Prayer

There’s another prayer principle that God reveals to us through His answered prayer to release Peter from incarceration: God will use a mighty display of His power to confront the lost with their sin. King Herod had imprisoned Peter and assumed he had more power than he actually had. But God says, “No, Herod — your plans to kill Peter won’t work!” Someone once said, “We make our plans, and God laughs.” I love that! Don’t lose heart, church. It may appear the world is out of control, but God hasn’t lost it. In His sovereign timing, He will display His power again and confront the lost with their need for repentance. So let’s get the bigger picture when we find ourselves in a painful place. Don’t pray that God will take it away — He may be doing a special work in your life or in the life of someone watching. Trust His plans!
 

Supernatural Prayer

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Lots of Goofy Ideas About Prayer

The world — and even the church — has some pretty goofy ideas about prayer. For some, prayer is like magic: if your faith is strong enough, you can pray the sick back to health! You can pray the dead back to life! I’ve heard prayers — by some who claimed to be believers — that sounded more like witchcraft or New Age spirituality, where prayer is like “The Force” and the battle against the dark side. And if God is going to win, you have to support Him with your prayers! In other words, the fate of the world — and even of God — is in your hands, or in your prayers.

Blasphemous Prayer

Then there’s the blasphemous “Word of Faith” teaching on prayer, or the “Prosperity Gospel” that makes God out to be little more than your personal “Jeannie in a Bottle.” You want health, wealth, and prosperity? Just name it and claim it! God is helpless against the power of your words if you claim it in Jesus’ name. He has to give it to you! That’s a perversion of what Jesus taught His disciples to pray. It’s a perversion of what prayer looks like in the New Testament.

Why Is Real Prayer Supernatural?

Prayer in the New Testament was supernatural! I mean by that, prayer was an absolute reliance and dependence on God. These perversions of prayer are humanistic in nature — the power is inside us. Biblical prayer, instead, depends on the power of God that is outside us. We’re admitting to our weakness and to our inability to affect change. We’re trusting in a supernatural God to do what we cannot do. Biblical prayer is expressed helplessness and dependence on God’s power. Let me put it another way: whatever we don’t pray about, we’re basically telling God, “I got this,” right? “Don’t need You for this one, God.” Let me get personal. How many of you get up early enough Sunday mornings to pray that God would move powerfully in your worship service? How many of you have prayed specifically for a certain person who needs to be saved? Whatever ministry you might be part of in your church — do you pray regularly over it? For the people who are part of it? I doubt that most of you really believe you can do God’s work without His supernatural help. But if you’re not praying over it regularly, it kind of casts doubt.

What Are Your Expectations?

We need the Holy Spirit’s conviction — that if we’re not spending significant time appealing to God in passionate prayer, we shouldn’t expect Him to do any supernatural work in our midst, in our lives, or in our church. By our failure to pray, we’re telling God, “I got this. Don’t need Your help.” Listen, the Holy Spirit doesn’t need our self-centered know-how. He doesn’t need us at all. But it seems to be God’s M.O. to engage His people in deep, passionate, humble, helpless, and desperate prayer before He does His great supernatural work. He includes us, and He uses our prayer to grow in us a deeper dependence on His power rather than our own. Will you repent of your false views of prayer — or your prayerlessness? God help us!
 

There Is Freedom In God’s Sovereignty

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Trust Him With Your Pain

I’ve used my last few posts to take a deeper look at the prayer life of Hannah from 1 Samuel, chapter 1. We’ve considered how God used her God-honoring prayers to heal her brokenness. She learned to pray with a view toward God’s sovereignty over every painful situation in life. I can’t overemphasize how important that was to Hannah’s spiritual formation. Until you can pray — about everything — with a view toward God’s sovereignty, and with an acceptance of your painful circumstances — even when you don’t have the answer to your “why” questions — you’ll be susceptible to a bitter heart. You’ll be in danger of turning yourself into God’s judge.

Motivated By God’s Glory

Until you can pray with a motivation for God’s glory alone, your pain and suffering will eat you up. Let me share with you a Facebook post that one of our members shared after hearing this message in church: “The sovereignty of God is the pillow I lay my head upon. I have finally come to that conclusion; thus, I can sleep at night. God is in control, and I can trust His decisions for this journey my family and I are on now. He will get us through, and even if things don’t go as planned, if we are truly His, one day things will get better — if not in this lifetime, in Heaven… I finally get God’s sovereignty! I get it.” Can you hear the freedom expressed in that statement?

Trust His Character

When you finally grasp God’s sovereignty, it’s a doctrine that offers great freedom — in part because of God’s character. He reveals Himself in Scripture as loving, gracious, merciful, and benevolent toward us. Furthermore, He is just and righteous in all His ways. We can trust Him. We can trust that His sovereign entry into the corners of our lives will always, ultimately, be for our good and for His glory. But you must accept these revelations of Himself by faith. Then let Him be God. Hannah experienced the freedom of God’s sovereignty over all her circumstances. And because she was motivated to see God glorified through her circumstances, she could leave it all in God’s more-than-capable hands. 1 Samuel 1:18 says, “…Then Hannah went on her way; she ate and no longer looked despondent.”

Truth Changes Us

That line was the greatest indicator that she had left her painful circumstances in God’s hands. Remember, back in verse 7, Hannah had grown so despondent that she wouldn’t eat. Her husband became concerned: “Why won’t you eat?” But when she submitted to God’s sovereign plan, “…she ate and no longer looked despondent.” Truth changes us when we believe it. Previously, in her anguish, she had been misread as drunk by Eli the priest: “…No,” she said, “I am a woman with a broken heart… I’ve been pouring out my heart before the Lord…” (vv. 15–16). Praying through her pain had been messy for Hannah — until the Holy Spirit wrestled with her and calmed her troubled heart. One more lesson about prayer from Hannah: she offered praise when God answered! Take a good look at her words in the next chapter, verses 1–10.
 
 

Praying About Temptations

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How Did Jesus Teach Us To Pray?

Let me challenge you to take a good, long look at your prayers! Are your prayers consumed with requests? Little more than sending God a grocery list of items you want Him to do for you! If so, you need to spend some time meditating on Jesus’ response to His disciples when they approached Him: “Lord, teach us to pray!” (Matthew 6:5-13) They found a deficiency in their prayer life; so, they sought Jesus’ counsel to improve it! One of the last things He teaches them to pray about is “temptation”— “And do not bring us into temptation.”

A Warning About Being In The World

Up until this point, in Jesus’ counsel about prayer, His focus had been on praying over our relationships with God and the people around us. Now, He teaches us to pray about going out into the world, where He’s called us to make disciples; but, there’s a bit of a warning! We need to pray— “Lord, as we go into the world to advance Your kingdom, we need Your strength to help us be IN the world and not OF it!” We will face some spiritual warfare as we advance against Satan’s kingdom! There is an evil one who wants to take us down! We need to pray for the Spirit’s strength to withstand him; so, we pray for the Father’s guidance.

A Prime Motivation For Prayer

Overcoming sin and evil should be a prime motivation in our prayers! Are your prayers motivated by a desire to walk deliberately with your God? To love Him with a desire to keep His commandments? Test yourself! Are your prayers centered on the STUFF you want, or on Holy Spirit help to beat sin? Finally, Jesus adds these words, in His counsel to His disciples, about prayer: “…deliver us from the evil one…” (v.13) Earlier, in His ministry, Jesus had taught them that “…the evil one comes only to steal and to kill…” (John 10:10). He wants to steal your joy in the Lord and your love for God and others! He wants to kill your effectiveness as a disciple! And we don’t have the strength in ourselves to stand against him! We’re no match for Satan. So, Jesus is teaching us— as His disciples— to humble ourselves by praying for the Father’s protection from evil! To pray that He would deliver us from Satan! And, from falling back into sin! To stand firm and finish strong despite persecution, if we should face that kind of resistance.

Don’t Try To Counsel God

As I bring this series of posts on Jesus’ “model” prayer to a close, let me remind you never to pray like you’re trying to be God’s counselor! Never pray like you’re trying to convince God that YOU know the best way to run His kingdom! Clearly, Jesus leaves no room in His counsel on prayer for us to make prayer about what we think God should do. He’s far too wise! We’re far too ignorant of the details of His work in the world. He is an omniscient God—in other words, He knows EVERYTHING! That means He’s already considered anything you might try to convince Him to do! He may answer in the affirmative! Or, He may answer negatively! And if He does, it’s because He knows the “end from the beginning” and has the best reasons to make the wisest decision! Let us learn to pray with humility, trusting God’s answers always!
 

A Distinctly Christ-Centered Home (Part II)

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It’s Counter-Intuitive To The Majority Culture

In so many ways, keeping step with Jesus and Scripture is counterintuitive to the majority culture. The culture will often tell a woman to divorce her husband if they don’t share the same values. But the Apostle Peter’s Holy Spirit-inspired words tell us that a husband who is disobedient to the Lord “…may be won over without a message by the way their wives live…” (1 Peter 3:1). She doesn’t need to nag! It’s possible that the Spirit can use her life in such a dramatic way that her husband may be “won over without a message.” She doesn’t need to preach at him!

Internal Adornment & Beauty

Peter builds on that point in the verses that follow: “…when they observe your pure, reverent lives. Your beauty should not consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold ornaments or fine clothes. Instead, it should consist of what is inside the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very valuable in God’s eyes” (1 Peter 3:2–4). If you’re a wife who’s a follower of Jesus, your life should be marked by internal adornment and beauty. And let’s be clear—Peter is not teaching that women should refrain from makeup and jewelry. What he’s saying is that your life should consist of more than the “paint” and “bling” on the outside. How shallow! “Live pure and reverent lives,” he says.

Have A Beautiful Heart

Focus on making your heart beautiful by yielding to God’s Word and His Spirit. Just because you can say something doesn’t mean you should! Don’t give your husband a piece of your mind that you can’t afford to lose. My girls are familiar with a verse of Scripture that I often quoted to them: “A beautiful woman without discretion is like a gold ring in a pig’s snout” (Proverbs 11:22). Your hope ought to be placed in God’s sovereignty—“…in the past, holy women like Sarah put their hope in God as they submitted…” (1 Peter 3:5–6). Go back and read the Genesis account of Abraham and Sarah’s life. It’s interesting that she was never present when God gave Abraham His instruction, but she submitted to Abraham by putting her hope in God’s sovereign control of the situation. She let God work out the kinks in her husband’s head. She didn’t nag!

Husband: Know Your Wife

Let me finish by drawing your attention to Peter’s words to the Christian husband: “Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives with an understanding of their weaker nature, yet showing them honor as coheirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered” (1 Peter 3:7). Your life, as a husband who follows Jesus, will be marked by an understanding of your wife. Now, I know that some of you men reading this are laughing inside—“You really think we can ever understand a woman?” No, I don’t! And this is a subject I have a really hard time preaching on because I personally stink at it so badly. But what it seems Peter is saying, in part, is that “…as you live with your wife, gain an understanding of her…” Study your wife! What causes her tension and frustration? Serve her in those areas. Be a help to her!

A Distinctly Christ-Centered Home (Part I)

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It Starts With Communication

I’m quite sure that everyone would agree that communication plays a huge part in family relationships! I heard of a man and wife who had only a dog that they loved like a child. One day, the wife headed out on a business trip, and when she got to her destination, she called home to check in with her husband. “How are things going?” she asked. His reply was shocking: “The dog’s dead.” “What?” she asked. “Why would you just come right out and say it like that? That’s devastating! Couldn’t you have told me that news a little differently? I’m miles from home, and you just blurt it out there—‘the dog’s dead.’” “Well, I don’t know how else to say it,” he responded. “I mean, he’s dead!” “Well,” she said, “you could have broken the news to me in stages.” “Like, what do you mean?” he asked. “Well, when I first called, you could have told me the dog fell off the roof. Then, when I checked in later, you might have said you had to take the dog to the animal hospital and he wasn’t doing well. The next day, you might have told me to sit down and brace myself—our darling dog has passed away! You could have done it like that so I could have handled it better.” “Okay, I get it,” he said. “I’m sorry! I’ll try to do better next time.” “Okay, thanks, honey,” she said. “I just needed to clear that up. So, how is my mother?” There was a pause. “She’s on the roof!” While that story may or may not have a whole lot to do with a distinctly Christ-centered home, I thought it was worth the chuckle it might generate.

A Uniquely Distinct Home

So let me begin this series of posts with the following statement—the life of a Christian husband and wife will be uniquely distinct from the marriages of the world! If you intend to follow Jesus, you need to settle that in your heart! The world will think us crazy, but that’s the world’s wisdom. Always remember: “The foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom” (1 Corinthians 1:25). As long as we live by “the Book,” our worldview will never be accepted by the unbelieving crowd. We need to be okay with that! Don’t be abrasive about it. Always be kind and respectful when sharing your position. Just know that your view will be rejected.

Your Life As A Christian Wife

According to the Holy Spirit of God, who inspired Peter to write these words, your life as a Christian wife will be marked by submission to your own husband: “In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the Christian message, they may be won over without a message by the way their wives live” (1 Peter 3:1). Ladies, you’ll make no friends with the “Women’s Movement” if submission marks your relationship with your husband—but you will be a friend of God! That word “submit”—in the original Greek language—means to submit voluntarily to your husband’s lead. And notice how significant that could be in an unbelieving husband’s life. If your husband is disobedient to God, God may use your obedience to win your husband over to the Lord! (PART II Next Week)

Complementary Love & Submission

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Taking A Vacation: Next Post August 20

It’s Not About Equality

In our culture, we tend to equate any kind of “submission” to another person as a sign of “inequality.” That’s unfortunate because it simply isn’t true! All of us submit to our boss at work—not because of inequality, but because of order! God designed order into every area of His world, including the home. Jesus Himself submitted to that order in the home: “And He (Jesus) went down with them (His parents) and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them” (Luke 2:51). I certainly hope that doesn’t mean Jesus, the second member of the Triune Godhead, was somehow beneath His human parents!

Jesus Submitted To The Father

And what of Jesus’ submission to the Father within the Triune Godhead? He is just as much “God” as the Father and the Spirit. But He voluntarily gave in to the Father’s lead: “Make your own attitude that of Christ Jesus, who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God as something to be used for His own advantage. Instead, He emptied Himself by assuming the form of a slave, taking on the likeness of men. And when He had come as a man in His external form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death—even to death on a cross” (Philippians 2:5–8). Did you see that? He was equal with God the Father, but He didn’t use that to His own advantage! Rather, He humbled Himself and voluntarily became obedient to the Father.

Wives Looking Like Jesus

Wives—nothing you do within the structure of your home makes you look more like Jesus than when you voluntarily give up control to your husband—not because you’re incapable! In fact, I’ve counseled many marriages in which the wife was clearly the more capable leader. But when she gave that up voluntarily, it changed the entire dynamics of their home. By doing so, she empowered her husband to lead and love, and she “imaged” Jesus for her children. Ladies, that’s how you complement your husband according to God’s design for the home. And men, you complement your wife’s voluntary submission by your love for her: “Husbands, love your wives…” (Colossians 3:19).

A Voluntary, Sacrificial Love

The context of this Colossians 3 passage shows that the wife’s submission is prompted by a husband who shows her unselfish love. In no way does the Scripture imply that the husband is to demand submission from his wife! It’s impossible to draw that meaning from this text. The relationships are understood to be reciprocal. He gains the voluntary submission of his wife as he loves her, and she enjoys more of his love as she voluntarily submits to him. That word translated “love” is agape in the original language, and it’s interesting that agape love is a voluntary, sacrificial kind of love. Her submission is to be voluntary, and his love is to be given voluntarily. It’s not governed by feelings—it’s a love that looks out for her best interests, regardless! A love that refuses to turn “bitter,” as Paul points out in the rest of verse 19.
 

God’s Design For The Family

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We’re All Someone’s Son or Daughter

Family and parenting are subjects that all of us can relate to! We’re all part of a family. We’re all someone’s son or daughter. If we’re married, we’re someone’s husband or wife. If not, we’re probably hoping to one day be someone’s husband or wife. Most of us either have kids or hope to have a family someday. Our infinitely wise Creator designed a husband and wife to complement—or complete—each other. And He’s also designed the family to work together in a certain way.

Something Beautiful Happens

When the family works the way God designed it, something awesome and beautiful happens! Families bring glory to God and joy to each family member when God’s design specifications are followed by faith. The Apostle Paul wrote a letter to the ancient church of Colossae that is hated by the world. But if, by faith, you will believe God’s Word and live it out—by the power of God’s Holy Spirit—your family will bring glory to God, and you will find joy! Your life will be a blessing to your family and to everyone you rub shoulders with in life. “And whatever you do,” Paul begins, “in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him. Wives, be submissive to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and don’t be bitter toward them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so they won’t become discouraged.” —Colossians 3:17–21.

Do It God’s Way

Whatever you do, Paul says, do it God’s way—according to His design—including husbands, wives, and families! That’s the context here. Wives! He begins with wives. If you want to bring glory to God and live a joy-filled life, be submissive to your husband. Now, the order has perplexed a number of believers. Why did the Holy Spirit inspire Paul to begin with instruction to the wives? I don’t know! There are a number of differing opinions, and I do have my own. I think it has to do with the meaning of that word “submit” or “be submissive.” The word in the original language meant “a voluntary attitude of giving in, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden.” The key word is voluntary. The wife voluntarily submits to her husband.

Not Meant To Lord It Over Her

So here’s the message I think the Spirit wants to convey: the husband is not meant to lord it over his wife by demanding that she submit. Rather, the wife is to willingly, voluntarily submit. If the husband were addressed first, we might have read into it that the husband’s responsibility is to demand that his wife submit. So, God removes any inclination the husband might have to demand submission by addressing the wives first: “Ladies, you need to voluntarily give in to your husband’s lead.” God commands this—not because the wife is incapable. Not because she’s not his equal. Don’t confuse submission with inequality! We submit to our bosses at work, not because of inequality, but because of order. God designed an order to the home. Even Jesus submitted to His parents as part of the created order!

Living In A Sexually Immoral Culture

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Where To Find The Best Council

The seventh chapter of the Apostle Paul’s letter to the church in Corinth contains some of the best counsel available on sex and marriage. Though he opens with an endorsement of celibacy, he quickly adds, “…because sexual immorality is so common, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband” (1 Corinthians 7:2). In a sexually charged culture like Corinth, marriage is God’s gift to most believers. Why? Because it is the only form of sexual activity that God ordains!

An Undefiled Marriage Bed

The author of Hebrews puts it this way: “Marriage must be respected by all, and the marriage bed kept undefiled, because God will judge immoral people and adulterers” (Hebrews 13:4). The phrase “marriage bed” was an idiom synonymous with sex. So, respect it, because God will judge the immoral or adulterous person who plays the part of a married person sexually! But they’re not married—they’re just playing house. In a culture where sexual immorality is so prevalent—like it was in Corinth and like it is in our own country—God’s answer is simple: Get married! In the ninth verse of Paul’s Corinthian letter, the Holy Spirit prompts him to write, “…if they do not have self-control (to remain celibate), they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with desire.”

Marriage: A Deterrent To Immorality

Marriage is a helpful deterrent to sexual immorality. That might not seem like the best motive for getting married, but Paul and the Spirit of God are simply being practical—it is better than immorality! At the same time, Paul qualifies the gift of marriage with some stipulations. Marriage does not guarantee freedom from sexual immorality; rather, marriage partners have a sexual responsibility to one another. Do not misunderstand Paul’s message here—marriage deters a life of sexual immorality, but only if the husband and wife fulfill their sexual responsibilities to each other. “A husband should fulfill his marital responsibility to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband. A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does. Do not deprive one another sexually” (1 Corinthians 7:3-5).

Being Sexually Responsible

There’s a lot packed into these three verses. Paul is preaching monogamy. He’s emphasizing a heterosexual relationship. And he’s teaching that a husband and wife have a sexual responsibility to fulfill with each other. Some translations even refer to it as a “debt” or an “obligation.” Again, that may not sound romantic, but this is serious teaching from Paul. You can’t state it much stronger than he does in verse 5— “Don’t deprive one another sexually…” Some translations render it, “Don’t defraud one another…” The husband’s body does not belong to him alone, and the wife’s body does not belong to her alone. When sex is used as a weapon to punish perceived wrongdoing by a spouse, it defrauds them and places them in a vulnerable position to fall into sexual sin, Paul warns. Don’t do it!