Tag Archives: Sexuality

Designed To Complement!

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-Is Gender Inequality Real?

Gender inequality is receiving a lot of attention these days. I’m referring to the claim that there is unequal treatment of individuals based on their gender. Some of this mistreatment is “perceived”; but, much of it is very real! Some claim there is a gender pay gap; and, in many cases the facts support that claim! There’s also a resulting link to career advancement— that one’s gender impedes their advancement up the company ladder!

-There’s Perspective With Age!

I’ve mentioned before— about growing older— that one of the few advantages I have, over those younger than me, is that I have a “PERSPECTIVE” they can’t possibly have! I have a kind of panoramic view of time since growing up in the 1960’s. More than just a historical perspective, I lived it! I remember when Bobby Riggs challenged Billie Jean King to a tennis match that became known as the “Battle of the Sexes.” It received international attention; and, when King won, it became a kind of “rally cry” to what has been the women’s movement!

-Gender Resentment’s Not Cool!

Now, let me be clear about something! I admit that from the beginning of time, men, in general, have been guilty of inflicting much harm & gender inequality against women; and, I applaud many of the changes that have been made to correct that! At the same time—here is my “old man” perspective— I have noted, in my lifetime, a deep pervasive gender resentment has bubbled up & boiled over in our day. We’re at this “zero-sum competition”! As a society we’re not looking for the WIN-WIN. There’s this lack of togetherness & teamwork between the sexes! It’s become “US against THEM”; and, the only way one gender wins is if the opposite gender loses! It’s “EITHER-OR” when it ought to be “BOTH-AND.” Either men rule the world; or, women do! The sexes are more divided than ever; and, the sexual orientation & “sexual identity” issues are the natural fallout of this fighting between the genders! The world is lost & confused & needs to be rescued & the Church can help bring sanity to the struggle by embracing the counsel of God’s word & living it out in our homes & in the public square & let me add that we bring that discussion with LOVE, PATIENCE & GENTLENESS!

-The Way God Designed Us!

God’s design for the man & the woman promotes beauty & harmony in the relationship between the sexes! God’s design for men & women is absolute equality in status; but, a difference in the roles! All the cultural debate over homosexuality, transgenderism, pornography, public policy concerning women being drafted for combat, church debates over women pastors, and, marital conflicts over “who’s in charge” in the home— ALL of it is addressed directly or by implication in God’s Word. When determining our roles, as men and women, God & His Word must shape our opinions, not the culture! To do otherwise is deadly! The culture is broken & doesn’t have the answers! It all begins with Genesis in my next post!

Living In A Sexually Immoral Culture!

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-Where To Find The Best Counsel?

The 7th chapter, of the Apostle Paul’s letter to the Church of Corinth, contains some of the best counsel available on sex and marriage.  And, though he opens with an endorsement for celibacy, he quickly adds that “…because sexual immorality is so common, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband” 1 Corinthians 7:2.  In a sexually charged culture, like Corinth was, marriage is God’s gift for most believers.  Why? Because it’s the only sexual activity that God ordains!

-An Undefiled Marriage Bed!

The author, of Hebrews, puts it like this:  “Marriage must be respected by all, and the marriage bed kept undefiled, because God will judge immoral people and adulterers” Hebrews 13:4.  The “marriage bed” was an idiom synonymous with “sex.” So, respect it, because God will judge the immoral or adulterous person who “plays the part” of a married person sexually! But, they’re not married, they’re just “playing house.” When you belong to a culture where sexual immorality is so prevalent—like it was in Corinth & like it is in our own country—God’s answer is, “Get Married!” In the 9th verse of Paul’s Corinthian letter, the Holy Spirit prompts him to write that, “…if they do not have self-control (to REMAIN CELIBATE), they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with desire.”

-Marriage: A Deterrent To Immorality!

So, marriage is a helpful deterrent to sexual immorality! That might not seem like the best motive for getting married; but, Paul & the Spirit of God are just being practical! It’s better than immorality!  At the same time, Paul qualifies the gift of marriage with some stipulations. Marriage does not guarantee freedom from sexual immorality. Marriage partners have a sexual responsibility to each other. Don’t misunderstand what Paul is saying here! Marriage is a deterrent to living a life of sexual immorality; but, ONLY if the husband and wife carry out their sexual responsibilities to one another.  “A husband should fulfill his marital responsibility to his wife, and likewise a wife to her husband.  A wife does not have the right over her own body, but her husband does. In the same way, a husband does not have the right over his own body, but his wife does. Do not deprive one another sexually” 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

-Being Sexually Responsible!

There’s a lot going on in those 3 verses. Paul is preaching “monogamy.” He’s preaching a “heterosexual” relationship. And, he’s preaching that a husband & a wife have a sexual responsibility to fulfill with each other. Some translations actually speak of it as a “debt” or an “obligation.” Again, that doesn’t sound very romantic; but, this is serious stuff Paul is talking about. You can’t say it much stronger than he does in v.5—”Don’t DEPRIVE one another sexually…” Some translations render it, “…don’t DEFRAUD one another…” The husband’s body does not belong to him alone! And, the wife’s body does not belong to her alone! When you use sex as a “weapon” to punish some bad behavior, you think your spouse committed against you, you defraud them & place them in a vulnerable place to fall into sexual sin, Paul says. Don’t do it!

 

When Good Sex Goes Bad!

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-When It Happens Outside Marriage!

According to God—who, by the way, CREATED sex—healthy sex only happens in a marriage between a man & a woman! The Word of God warns us against the ramifications of sexual conduct outside the safety of marriage between a man and a woman! All other sexual activities are spiritually unhealthy because it’s disobedience to God and His Word. But, it can also prove to be physically and emotionally unhealthy! And, the effects tend to have a trickle down effect. It can negatively impact your family & your children downline.

-Messing Up People’s Lives!

When your sex life doesn’t comply with Scripture, you can mess up a lot of people’s lives! One more consideration for those of you who think you’ve already messed up too badly! That you’re hopeless! Maybe you grew up in a worldly environment & were never even taught these Biblical truths. Or, maybe you grew up hearing them; but, you thought you were smart enough to beat “the system”; so, you played around with sex & you’re paying the price for it now! Well, thanks to Jesus’ work on the cross, you’re not beyond repair!

-Good News For Those Who Messed Up!

The Gospel is good news to every sinner, regardless the sin! We have a God who makes beauty from ashes! There is forgiveness & restoration through the cross! So, don’t hide behind your sin any longer! Confess it so you can be healed (James 5:16). And, from this day forward, plant your feet on the firm foundation of God’s Word, when it comes to your sex life! God’s Word alone provides us the only flawless counsel for building healthy marriages. In the book of 1 Corinthians, the Apostle Paul shares several points, about sexuality, as God directs us:  “It is good for a man not to have relations with a woman. But because sexual immorality is so common, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband….I say the following as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all people were just like me. But each has his own gift from God, one person in this way and another in that way. I say to the unmarried and to widows: It is good for them if they remain as I am” 1 Corinthians 7:1, 6-8.

-Is Celibacy A Gift?

What Paul is encouraging here is “celibacy.” He seems to indicate that “celibacy” is God’s gift for some individuals! So, if you can’t imagine being celibate, that probably means that you don’t have that gift! I purposely used the word celibacy, instead of “singleness”—because celibacy more accurately defines what Paul is describing here—celibacy is abstaining from ALL sexual relations! Whereas, in our culture, “singleness” is often preferred because there are no sexual attachments or boundaries—it’s “Sex In The City!” It’s friends with “benefits.” So, being “single” doesn’t necessarily express what Paul is thinking! When he says, “It is good for a man not to have relations with a woman” (v.1) he’s using it as a euphemism for “sexual intercourse”; and, the context of v.2 bears that out. So, celibacy can be a good & honorable gift from God!

 

What Sexual Health Looks Like!

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-It’s Not What You Think!

Unfortunately, marriage & parenting are the butt of a lot of jokes in our society. We sing a lot of sad songs about lost love; and, it seems that’s one way we manage the pain.  Like the story of a woman whose husband lay in bed dying, going in and out of a coma. One day he briefly awoke & reached out to his wife to draw her close.  As she sat next to him, he began to whisper some of his remembrances to her:  “Honey, you’ve been right there beside me through all the rough times.  You were there when I got fired. You were there when my business failed.  You were there when we lost the house.  And, you’ve been right here—the whole time—by my side even as my health failed & I lay dying.” He paused briefly & asked, “You know what?” “What, dearest?” She asked as she wiped a tear from her eye.  “I think you’re bad luck” he said; and, then slipped back into a coma!

-Flawless Marriage Counseling!

I’m pretty confident that everyone enters into marriage longing for a partnership that remains strong & healthy! I hope that it doesn’t surprise you when I say that God’s Word provides us with the ONLY flawless counsel for building those healthy marriages; and, for training up godly children! If you’re a relatively new follower of Jesus, you may be surprised to find out how much the Bible has to say about marriage & sex & family! But, think about it! It was God who created marriage! And, it was God who created sex! He created the family, too! So, it really only makes sense that we would go to the SOURCE for wisdom & counsel in these areas!

-A Foundational Bible Text!

A foundational text on the subject of marriage, sex, and the family is 1 Corinthians 7:1-9. It’s incredibly practical; and, if you’ll commit to obeying the words of Scripture—rather, than listening to the foolish, so-called “wisdom” of the world—you’ll have that strong & happy marriage that everyone longs for.  It’s an intriguing passage! What the Apostle Paul says to the Church of Corinth—and, these are words inspired by God’s Holy Spirit—are completely out-of-step with the world’s wisdom and the societal norms for family & for human sexuality! So, choose who you’re going to listen to!

-Where Healthy Sex Happens!

If you just google “A Healthy Sex Life” you’ll get results like “10 Signs You Have A Healthy Sex Life”—but, not one sign is attached to marriage between a man & a woman! Your google search results will also include articles on sexual dysfunction & how to maintain an active sex life; but, again, with no reference to marriage! But, according to God, “Healthy Sex” ONLY happens in a marriage relationship between a man and a woman! Over & over, the Word of God warns us against the ramifications of sexual conduct outside of a marriage between a man and a woman! All other sexual activities are spiritually unhealthy because it is disobedience to God’s word! But, it can also prove to be physically & emotionally unhealthy! It has a trickle down effect, negatively impacting others downline! Next Week: We’ll get into 1 Cor. 7.

 

The Fading Glory Of Creation!

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-Don’t Accept A Cheap Substitute!

When we refuse to give God the glory He alone deserves, we exchange the glory of an immortal Creator for the glory of created things! In other words, we accept cheap substitutes! When we could have gloried in an eternal, immortal, all-powerful Creator, we glory instead in the FADING glory of a creation that groans & dies under the weight of sin’s curse! James wrote:  “Let the rich man glory in his humiliation, because as a flower of the field he will pass away. For no sooner has the sun risen with a burning heat than it withers the grass; its flower falls, and its beautiful appearance perishes. So the rich man also will fade away in his pursuits” James 1:9-11.

-Beauty Queens & Hip Replacements!

That means that beauty queens grow old & decrepit. It means that sports stars grow old; and, get hip & knee replacements.  So, if you value anything more than God, you’ve exchanged the “imperishable” for the “perishable.” You’ve traded the diamond for that rotten peach that’s been in the back of your fridge for the last 3 months! You’ve traded gold for a rusty bolt! In Paul’s letter to the Church of Rome, he also says that when you dismiss or deny God’s glory that you exchange the truth of God for the lies of sexual perversions— “…God delivered them over in the cravings of their hearts to sexual impurity, so that their bodies were degraded among themselves. They exchanged the truth of God for a lie…” Romans 1:24-25.

-God’s Not The Kill Joy In The Sky!

Listen, God is NOT the big “sex KILL JOY” in the sky! He’s NOT a PRUDE! He created sex! Contrary to what some people seem to think, sex wasn’t our idea! God created sex; and, the reason He restricted sexual activity to a HUSBAND & a WIFE is because He loves us! His way is the BEST way for us! All sexual activity—outside that which is between a HUSBAND & a WIFE— will always result in painful, negative experiences! Humanity keeps ignoring God’s glory when it comes to sexual conduct; so, God delivers them over to sexual impurity, Paul says. And, our society is bent on degrading their bodies because they’ve believed all the lies of sexual perversions! There’s a really important principle here!

-Living With Regret!

You can glory in the lies of sin & get some momentary pleasure out of it; but, the pleasure is soon gone & what remains is regret! Or, you can glory in the truth of God; and, gain happiness & joy that does not fade in this life! A joy that actually carries over into eternity! You can live without regrets now! Give God the glory due His name! Redirect any praise— that might come your way— to Him! Humble yourself before him! Admit that you’re NOT a self-made man or woman! You’re made in the image of God for His Glory! If you’re a follower of Jesus, His Spirit indwells you; and, it is He who is making you into the image of Christ.  Everything you have— Yes! Everything— comes from Him! Don’t take any credit for your accomplishments! That’s what unbelievers do. Stand with the Apostle Paul: “As for me, I will never boast about anything except the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ “ Galatians 6:14. Brag on the cross & Jesus’ work for our salvation!

 

No Sexually Immoral-Conclusion:

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A List Of Deadly Sins

God includes homosexuality as just one sin on a list of deadly sins—“Don’t you know that the unrighteous will not inherit God’s kingdom? Do not be deceived: No sexually immoral people, idolaters, adulterers, or anyone practicing homosexuality, no thieves, greedy people, drunkards, verbally abusive people, or swindlers will inherit God’s kingdom.  And some of you used to be like this. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” (1 Corinthians 6:9-11)

Is Our Focus Wrong?

Look at the other sins God condemns with homosexuality—“sexual immorality” (That’s heterosexual sin!), “idolaters”, “adulterers” (Have you ever lusted after someone you’re not married to? Jesus calls that “adultery”!), “thieves”, “greedy”, “drunkards”, “verbally abusive” (I think we’ve all been guilty of that!) and “swindlers.” So, why do so many of us focus on just one of those sins? Why aren’t we equally as aggressive calling out everyone else on this list? All sin is deadly!

The Power Of The Gospel Produces Change

But, Paul makes the point, in v.11, that the power of the Gospel can change every sinner’s life— “…some of you USED to be like this. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified…” Some in the Corinthian Church USED to practice homosexuality…USED to be adulterers, thieves, drunkards, etc. But, no longer! They’ve become “new creatures” by the sanctifying power of the indwelling Holy Spirit!

We’re All Broken

Don’t ever give up on a loved one practicing homosexuality! Love them just like you’d love anyone else trapped by sin! I once held animosity toward anyone living a homosexual lifestyle. God helped me overcome those feelings by rehearsing with me how equally repulsive He found all my particular sins! I am as broken & depraved as anyone involved in homosexual sin! I take no delight that my sins are somehow less repulsive to God! My personal battle with sin continues & will continue until God gives me a resurrected body like Jesus’! God! Help us to speak the truth IN LOVE into this conversation! God loves every sinner! And, He calls them out to repentance & new life in Christ!

In Summary

I came across a quote that’s been attributed to Jonathon Parnell. It summarizes very effectively the point I’ve attempted to make in the last 4 posts related to the subject of homosexuality: “We don’t hate those who embrace homosexuality, we love them enough to not just collapse under the societal pressure. We speak the truth in love into this confusion, saying, simultaneously, ‘That’s wrong’ and ‘I love you.’ We’re not the left; we say, this is wrong. And we’re not the right; we say, you’re loved. We speak good news, with those sweetest, deepest, most glorious words of the cross — the same words that God spoke to us — ‘You’re wrong, and you’re loved.’”

(NOTE: This was the final segment of a 4-part series, posted in this blog site, on the subject of “Homosexuality”)

No Sexually Immoral-Part III

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This Is What You Used To Be Like

In Paul’s letter to Corinth, he writes:  “Don’t you know that the unrighteous will not inherit God’s kingdom? Do not be deceived: No sexually immoral people, idolaters, adulterers, or anyone practicing homosexuality, no thieves, greedy people, drunkards, verbally abusive people, or swindlers will inherit God’s kingdom.  And some of you used to be like this. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” (1 Corinthians 6:9-11) Make no mistake, God’s inspired Word condemns the homosexual lifestyle along with all other forms of sexual sin! But, don’t make it a bigger sin than God does! Despite attempts to “explain away” this text, there is not one passage of Scripture anywhere that indicates that God has changed His mind about homosexual behavior.

Sin Defined

And, let me just expand on that a little bit—because He ALONE is God, He has the right to declare “sin” to be whatever He determines it to be. He alone is the divine lawgiver! If He declared it “sin” to drive a pink car than sin it is! If He declared it “sin” to be a football fan than sin it would be! God has created everything with a divine order. Because of our sin & rebellion, in the garden, our natural bent from conception is self-will and rebellion (Psalm 51:5).

God Is Not A “Kill Joy”

It’s futile to fight against Him (Psalm 2). We can try & play God with our life! We can rebel against Him by practicing a homosexual lifestyle, or, any of the other 8 sins mentioned here; but, we’re not gonna win! The only acceptable response to God is the “unconditional surrender” of our will & all our ways to Him—Not grudgingly! God is not the big “kill joy” in the sky! His commandments are for our good! He is benevolent & “well-intended” toward us! And, everyone who submits to His will & to His way find ultimate joy in their obedience—despite the difficulty overcoming addictive behaviors! “For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome”—1 John 5:3

The Key Word

It’s the “practice” of homosexual behavior that is damning! God does not eternally condemn a sexually immoral “act”. He’s not condemning to hell anyone who’s ever been guilty of idolatry, adultery, homosexual behavior; or, anyone who’s ever stolen, been greedy, drunk or verbally abusive! Or, NONE of us could be saved! The condemnation is for “practicing” a “lifestyle” that God condemns! An unwillingness to confess it as sin—to agree with God about it! —1 Cor. 6:9-11

Come Back Next Week: When we conclude this series on “Sexually Immoral”

 

No Sexually Immoral–Part I

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Please Don’t Misunderstand-

My greatest fear in addressing the subject of homosexual sin is not the negative repercussions I might face for taking a Biblical stance on the matter. My greatest fear is being misunderstood; and, being painted as hateful, mean-spirited & unloving toward the LGBT community.

In Which “Camp” Are You?

It seems like the media is doing everything possible to force everyone into choosing one of two camps—the camp that “celebrates” homosexuality; and, the camp that “hates” it! The camp that celebrates it is trying hard to lump everyone, who disagrees with them, into the camp of homosexual “haters”—“if you don’t support them, you hate them”! While the other camp says, “if you don’t hate homosexuals, you support them.” They’re the militants who get all red-faced, with veins popping out of their necks, whenever they talk about it. I REJECT BOTH CAMPS!

How To Miss Heaven!

Here’s the Scripture we’ll be considering over the next few posts:  “Don’t you know that the unrighteous will not inherit God’s kingdom? Do not be deceived: No sexually immoral people, idolaters, adulterers, or anyone practicing homosexuality, no thieves, greedy people, drunkards, verbally abusive people, or swindlers will inherit God’s kingdom.  And some of you used to be like this. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” (1 Corinthians 6:9-11) There are 9 specific sins listed that God says give cause to miss heaven; and, 3 of them are sexual in nature—“no sexually immoral… adulterers, or anyone practicing homosexuality…will inherit God’s kingdom.”

God’s Bottom Line On Homosexuality!

So, let’s get to God’s bottom line on homosexuality—“Sexual Sin Is Sexual Sin Is Sexual Sin.” God doesn’t have a separate list for those living a homosexual lifestyle. In fact, he paints with a broad brush when it comes to sexual sin— “No sexually immoral people.” God’s holiness is repulsed by all sexual sin! So, here’s the main point of this post—Don’t make homosexual sin to be a bigger sin than God does! Sexual Sin Is Sexual Sin Is Sexual Sin!

We speak of the Spirit’s work in us as one of “progressive sanctification”; and, that’s how Scripture always teaches us to judge the genuineness of our faith! To look in the Word of God & view it like a mirror. Does it reflect back to us a changed life? And, a changing life? Do we pass the test? What Scripture teaches about our “sexuality” is a litmus test.

Come Back Next Week: We’ll get into Part II of “No Sexually Immoral”